Grateful Gathering

(Feel free to bring your lunch. You are also welcome to leave early if you need to get back to work.)

Theme Seven: Cherishing Our Selves
When we think about befriending ourselves, we can approach the practice as an unfurling experience, a slow and steady unfolding toward unconditional love. ~ Kristi Nelson

Summary
“May I hold myself as deeply belonging, connected, and lovable.” This affirmation encapsulates what it means to practice grateful living with ourselves. Gratefulness offers a powerful opportunity to heal from the external and internalized messages that we are not enough, not right, and/or not lovable. In cherishing ourselves, we remember that we are already everything we need to be.

When we talk about the self, it can be helpful to recognize two distinctions: the “conditioned” or “learned” self is a product of our ego and all of the labels, stories, personality traits, and societal roles contained therein; the “unconditioned” or “essential” self is what exists when we strip away all of the labels that have come to define our learned self. For the purpose of this theme, we might think about the full self, including both the conditioned and unconditioned aspects; we can even revisit the idea of “great fullness” to talk about this whole self.

When we embrace the great fullness of ourselves, we choose to practice unbounded self-love amidst all of our perfect imperfection, and we open to the truth of our essential self. In doing so, we enhance our sense of belonging, circles of relationship, and personal well-being. All healthy relationships begin with belonging to ourselves in appreciative, respectful, and unconditionally loving ways, as it enables us to hold others with the same intention.

Resources

Media
Befriending Ourselves: An Invitation to Love (3:00): In this essay, Kristi Nelson, executive director of A Network for Grateful Living, invites us to befriend ourselves with grateful appreciation so that we might open to truly loving both ourselves and the world.

On Eternity and the Self from “A Basic Human Approach to Happiness“ (2:30): In this excerpt, Br. David explores the nature of self as a consciousness that is grounded in the present and distinct from I — the conditioned self. In cherishing this essential self, we lay the groundwork for true happiness.

Poem
Rethinking Regret by Elaine Sexton

Practice
Just Enough: This practice reminds us that we’re already enough, using affirmations to cultivate unconditional self-love.

Additional Resources
Infinite Worth (19:00): In this TED talk, clinician and attachment researcher Kent Hoffman, reminds us that every person matters and is worthy of love. Accompanied by stunning portrait photography, Hoffman describes how recognizing our own innate worth paves the way for connection with others.

Embracing Otherness, Embracing Myself (13:00): In this TED talk, actress Thandie Newton describes her journey with the self — accepting its essential truth and unity with all that is.

Questions for Reflection and Discussion
What arises when you are present to your full self?
Throughout the day, how might you practice tuning into your full self — making space to experience the distinction between the aspects of yourself that have been shaped by conditioning and those that you feel are essential to who you are?
What kinds of experiences help you to have a more grateful perspective about your worthiness and lovability? How can you remind yourself more readily about this?
How does continually opening to befriending your self support you to have a more grateful perspective?
When you feel truly able to embrace your full self, exactly as you are, what seems more possible for you?
How might appreciating the great fullness of your self invite you to act differently in the world? What might it inspire?

This event is free.

Facilitated by Karin Cross.