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Notes from last Feb 7th meeting: What's up with Affirmations; Belief vs Desire and more

From: Laura Rose, Corporate Exit C.
Sent on: Monday, February 8, 2010 9:44 AM
We had a great Feb 7th meeting at 2603 S. Miami Blvd (1:00-2:30pm every other Sunday). This week we talked about :

  • "Forcing oneself to find" a positive thought as being resistive in nature.
  • How effective are affirmations?
  • How belief and desire play with each other.

?Forcing oneself to find? a positive thought is actually resistive in nature:
After the Raleigh snow, a few folks at the Sunday meeting expressed a ?crankiness?, ?blahs?, ?nutty? feeling. One member said that she ?knew? she needed to snap out of it but could not. She ?knew? she had to think positively, but as hard as she tried, she could not find anything appreciative about the cold, rainy, windy, icy weather. (She?s been home bound for several days with several children ? and simply had had enough).

It?s been my experience that ?trying hard? on anything is actually resistive in nature ? even if we?re trying hard to ?feel better?. ?Trying hard? will eventually succeed. But there?s probably a better way to go about it. Just this Saturday, I awoke a tad cranky myself. I was scheduled to teach a dance workshop in a few hours and realized that I ?needed? to snap out of this funkiness before then. So I was about to sit down and think why I was cranky. But I realized thinking about all the things that could make me cranky would not necessarily be the fastest way to make me ?uncranky?. In fact ? it would probably make me crankier for awhile. So I abandoned that idea.
I realized it didn?t really matter what made me cranky or what was bothering me. In fact, having something bothering me just meant that I had bumped into some contrast along the way. The moment that I hit it, I had automatically sent out a vibration or request for it to be different. So ? even though I could not clearly or concisely articulate what that ?something? was, I had automatically sent out my vibrational request to change it. Whatever the incident, it had instigated a clarifying preference in me. It had done it's job, quite beautifully. And since the Universe responds to energy and vibrations, it doesn?t really require my verbal expression or articulation. It already received my emotional preference and is responding to the vibration that I sent. So ? there?s really no reason for me to spend time (right now) to try to decipher or figure out what bothered me earlier. It?s already taken care of. It's done. Once I realized that, I was really happy about being cranky ? because it was a sign that I had just placed something new and wonderful (whatever it was) in my ?vortex? or ?escrow?. I may not be able to articulate exactly what I placed there (not yet). But that didn?t seem to matter right now. It?s going to be what I want, because I am incrementally building it with each experience I have. Just knowing that I had hit something that clarified my preference in that regard was enough to illicit true appreciate for my crankiness. The intriguing thing was that the moment I realized that I was actually happy about being cranky ? I was no longer cranky. The really laughable part was, for a split moment ? when I realized that I was no longer cranky, I was actually disappointed that I was no longer cranky. Crazy, yes. Of course, that only lasted a split moment and was replaced by inner laughter of the absurdness of it all.

Bottom line: It doesn?t really matter how you get there. Just get to ?feeling better? the quickest way possible. Don?t spend a lot of time trying to ?make something? work. There?s so many ways and games to try. Try not to spend a lot of time on one trick. If it?s not fitting in this moment, it doesn?t mean that it doesn?t work. It just means that it?s not fitting in this instance. It will work some other time. It?s just not working in this particular case. Quickly move onto something else.
One other note to remember: You don?t necessarily have to ?feel better? about that particular thing that?s bumming you out, either. Just ?feeling better? in general, about life, about anything else gets you back into receiving mode. When you are back into ?receiving mode? you have better access to better insight about that thing along with allowing everything else that is lining up for you.

Affirmations discussion:
One member asked about AFFIRMATIONS. Her attitude was that they seem fake and don?t work for her. Yet, she reads lots of literature and recommendations about how good they are for you. What?s up with that?

We can all imagine a different and better future, but if it seems so remote, it doesn?t inspire us. Sometimes if they are so remote from where we believe ourselves to be right now, affirmations can actually be somewhat detrimental. I think the trick to affirmations is to find a statement that is close enough to your current vibration that you feel good about it. If you can?t feel good about a statement like ?I am prosperous, powerful and wealthy.? Or even the statement ?Everything works out for me.? ? let?s find a version that will.
?I am prosperous, powerful and wealthy,? may not feel true to you right now. But you may feel better with: ?Wouldn?t it be nice to be prosperous, powerful and wealthy.? Or ?Although a few ventures haven?t turned out exactly how I planned, they have all given me more insight, contacts, knowledge and ideas. I have also been successful many things I?ve tried. I?m very good at seeing the possibilities and taking advantages of the opportunities that come my way. They come to me often. Therefore, it won?t be long before I am prosperous, power and wealthy."

If ?Everything works out for me,? feels out of reach, then try ?I?ve been successful in similar things in the past. And even though I may not know exactly how this particular situation will unfold, I am competent, talented and skillful in many things. I also learn trades and techniques quickly. I am not alone in this either. I have a strong network of supporters and advisers. Therefore, I will be able to handle things as they come up. Everything will work out just fine.?

Just find a phrase or two that softens your affirmation just enough that you can fully align with it.

Side note: Remember everything is energy base. Because of that, the universe does not respond to words, but your feelings, vibrations or the energy that your transmit. If you say these words with strength and conviction of voice, while still feeling ?yeah, right ? who am I kidding - that will never happen?, the affirmations will not be very affective. You can certainly say them day-in-day-out and eventually practice them into a belief. You can eventually wear down your self-doubt and change your habit of thought. That is totally possible. It?s just that, along the way, you may not be feeling good about the journey and that in-itself tends to make the journey a little longer.

Belief versus desire
A great discussion on belief versus desire came to the table, as well.
A belief is just a practiced thought. It often becomes your ?default mode? ? the first thought that pops up when a certain topic or items appears. It?s not necessarily true or false; good or bad. It?s just a thought ? which (like all thoughts) can be changed. Even a thought held by the society can be changed. For instance: Slavery was once accepted by society. Smoking was once accepted and promoted by society.

Can you achieve something that you don?t believe you can? Well, that depends upon the amount of desire and amount of belief. There?s a story of a young mother that successfully lifted a car to save her child. In that instance, her desire to save her child outweighed her belief that she had the muscle strength to lift the car. In that particular moment, her belief didn?t stand a chance against her desire. But, chances are, if she were asked to lift the same amount of weight at the gym the day prior ? she would not have been capable.

We revisit this over and over. Another good example is with food. Some people can eat anything and stay healthy. Others look at a piece of cake and gain weight. If we believe that our body is of a type that can absorb and burn anything we eat, we have a better chance of staying at a healthy body weight. If we believe that certain foods that we really crave and desire will make us fat ? chances are that 1) we gain weight eating those foods we desire and 2) don?t easily lose weight by avoiding foods we desire.
In both those cases we feel bad about it. 1) We feel bad about eating the food we desire because we feel that it?s not healthy for us. 2) We feel deprived when we avoid the foods we desire; and resent those that can eat anything.
The most effective and easiest way to manifest your desires, is to find items that fit both your belief system and your desire. For the weight example, focus on foods that you believe are both healthy and tasty to you. That way, you?re supporting both your desire for a healthy lifestyle and belief that the foods that you are selecting are the right fuel for you.

If you are enjoying these notes, please let me know and come join us at our next meeting.

Laura Rose, CTACC
Certified Business and Personal Life Coach,
Make Magic Your Norm,
Transforming the life you have to the life you want.
[address removed]
Call for a free coaching session.

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