Triviageddon: The Reckoning of Suck-ay

I get to many notifications from MeetUp so I turned them off. That means if you have a comment or question, THE ONLY way to reach me is to call the DudeistJon Help Line 513-99-HAPPY

Attention, fellow trivia champions. We have been challenged.

Someone who once stood among us has broken ranks. She has formed her own MeetUp group and now dares to come crawling back with a smug little quiz gauntlet, tossed right at my feet. She says it will be fun. She says it will be friendly. I say it smells like sabotage and expired Lunchables.

This traitorous wretch, whose name rhymes with “Suck-ay,” once led our group with honor. But then she went rogue, like Benedict Arnold if he wore polyester pants and smugly corrected your pronunciation of “quinoa.” Now she’s coming for me. My pride. My hard-won glory earned through years of knowing what country invented the toothbrush and who voiced the aardvark in that one cartoon.

We must respond. Not with mercy. Not with pity. But with fire in our bellies and random facts in our brains.

Further reasons we should beat her...

1. Her mother was a hamster and her father smelt of elderberries.
2. She works for the federal government and at multiple points in her career has contributed to people being spied on.
3. She wanted Pluto to be demoted
4. She calls people and leaves voicemails of just music so that one Taylor Swift song is stuck in their head all day (ok, that is a lie. I am the one who does that and it is really damn funny)

This event is capped at 6 people. Our team name will be Elderberries Anonymous

You can bring friends but only 6 on our team so sign up fast. Gather your notebook and at least two pens. Take your Ritalin. Polish your obscure sports knowledge and dust off your classic movie quotes.

This is no ordinary game.
This is vengeance served by 42