About us
✦ Not Alone
A gentle, low-pressure meetup for people who feel anxious about social gatherings.
Have you ever wanted to go to a meetup but felt too anxious to show up?
Or gone to one and felt so overwhelmed that you couldn’t keep going?
Not Alone is for people who feel lonely, but struggle with the pressure to pretend they’re okay, confident, or comfortable.
Here, you don’t have to pretend.
✦✦ How it works
At each meetup, you choose a colour card to show how open you are to interaction:
• Quiet time only — not ready to talk or listen. (You’re welcome to quietly do your own thing while being together.)
• Listening only — okay to listen, not ready to talk. (No small talk.)
• Light chat — small talk is okay, nothing deep.
• Open to conversation — okay to talk and listen.
You can change your card anytime.
We’ll mostly talk about how we’re feeling, but there’s no pressure to share.
Just in case no one feels ready to talk, please bring something quiet to do (reading, journaling, knitting, music with headphones, etc.).
Meetups are about 1 hour, with a maximum of 6 people.
You’re free to leave anytime.
Just a reminder...
Awkward silences are welcome here.
This is not a group about fancy or impressive social skills. It's about gently tolerating anxiety, not alone, but together, in real life, at your own pace.
It can still be intimidating to join, and being isolated can leave us feeling stuck.
You’re welcome exactly as you are. Just being together is enough.
✦✦✦ Please Note
• Not professional therapy — Please respect each other, be non-judgemental and avoid hurtful language. We aim to make this a safe place for everyone.
• Not a dating group
• Not religious
• Conversations in English (fluency not required)
• Free to join during trial phase — each person pays for their own drink or food
✦✦✦✦ More About Not Alone (FAQ and more)
If you'd like more detail before deciding, here are some additional notes.
I’ve tried meetups before and felt overwhelmed. How is this different?
Some social spaces can feel intense — larger groups, fast conversations, or unspoken expectations to participate.
This meetup is intentionally small and structured to reduce pressure. Colour cards, flexible participation, and the freedom to leave are all designed to lower social expectations, allowing you to adjust your level of interaction as you go.
What if I freeze, shut down, or change my mind?
That’s fine.
You can switch your card at any point without explanation. There’s no expectation to “push through” anxiety or stay consistent.
What if it ends up being very quiet?
Silence isn’t a problem.
If no one feels ready to talk, we simply share space. Bringing something gentle to focus on can make that feel more natural.
I’m not confident in English. Will that be a problem?
You don’t need polished English to participate. The organizer is also not a native speaker.
People may speak slowly or pause to find words. The goal isn’t fluency — it’s being present.
Do I need to bring anything?
It’s a good idea to bring something quiet to do—like reading, journaling, knitting, or music with headphones—just in case no one feels ready to talk. No pressure!
Do I need to pay for anything?
The meetup itself is free to join during the trial phase. However, everyone is expected to pay for their own drink or food at the café. There’s no additional fee for attending the session.
Is there a reserved table for the meetup?
For now, there’s no reserved table, since the group is still small and has no regular members yet. If the chosen café is full or there isn’t a table for everyone, we may move to a nearby café before the session starts. Participants who RSVP will receive a message from the organizer with the updated location via app.
What if I can’t attend at the last minute or need to leave early?
If you can’t attend for personal or mental health reasons, that’s completely fine. A short message letting us know is appreciated, but not required. You’re free to leave whenever you need to, and there’s no need to explain.
How is the location chosen?
I select cafés I have visited previously that are not too small or crowded. Café suggestions are always welcome, though any recommended café may be considered rather than guaranteed as the location.
Is this therapy or a mental health program?
No. This is not a clinical space and does not replace professional support.
It is a peer gathering to be around others without pretending. Mutual respect is expected.
What if no one RSVPs?
The organizer will still be at the café, even if no one RSVPs. You’re welcome to come by and join if you’d like.
✦ Questions or more information
If you have any further questions, please feel free to reach out by email: personajaness@gmail.com
Upcoming events
1
