Avoiding Reality

Procrastination or avoidance is a tricky concept, since we generally know it is something that we need or even sometimes want to do. But why do we put things off? Things we know will build up into something more unmanageable. That is what we will discuss as we review how avoidance is directly anxiety and the fight or flight response, as we review the following clip and allegory:
Why you procrastinate even when it feels bad
Pathological Demand Avoidance - in under 2 Minutes!
Understanding Avoidant Personality Disorder

This group will be scheduled every two weeks at 4:00 pm-6:00 pm (CST) at Panera Bread, on University in Fort Worth at
Panera Bread 1700 S University Dr, Fort Worth, TX 76107.
Ideally we will be sitting at the long table on the left after entering.

The format of the group will consistently follow this pattern:

1. Settle in and start within first 10 minutes.
2. Review Ground Rules, Expectations and Weekly Topic (5-10 minutes)
3. Ice-breaker (will change every week) (10-20 minutes)
4. Main Topic of Discussion (45-60 minutes)
5. Closing Thoughts (10 minute)

The intention for "Blind Spots" is to intentionally discuss our own and society's various mental, emotional, ethical and moral boundaries and blind spots. These are by definition, emotionally charged topics, which is the very point.
The intention of this group is to learn how to better communicate and coincide with those you may not agree with or understand.
Blind Spots is intended to be a place were we can figure out how to better understand those we instinctively call the enemy.
Ground rules:

1. One person will speak at a time.
2. Critical thought and objection are both welcome, however be sure to challenge the content and not the personality.
3. When challenging another’s position, it is encouraged that you question from a place of “trying to understand the other individual’s position”, instead of intending on proving your point or theirs wrong through your questioning.

4)In the event discussion gets heated and volatile between two individuals or factions, the discussion will be halted, followed by taking the next 5 to 10 minutes, to use the remaining parts of the group to break down what just occurred and where communication broke down.

Ice Breaker
Discuss a time when you were procrastinating on something despite knowing it wasn't going to resolve itself. What made confronting your challenge easier or more challenging to accomplish?

1. At its core, procrastination and avoidance are an attempt to avoid an uncomfortable emotion associated with a given activity, what fundamental emotions do you believe we might be avoiding a task?
2. In my private practice, I define motivation and drive differently. I see drive as a result from fearing a given outcome if I do or don't do something, similar to avoidance. Think fear of loss; how might seeing the world through this lens limit our happiness and overall enjoyment?
3. Along the lines as the last question, I define motivation as intrinsic in nature, meaning I am doing it because it will benefit me some how and is associated with hope for gain. how might seeing the world through this lens limit our happiness and overall enjoyment?
4. The Ted Talk video stated procrastination is present to help us, often arising when we encounter a situation or interaction as threatening. What has helped you in the past, to overcome the threatening aspects of a task, to feel empowered and motivated to complete it?
5. How do you know if you are avoiding or procrastinating on a given task?
6. We often approach feelings of being overwhelmed by adding something new, such as a new routine, hobby, working out, or a new diet. What do you think would happen if we actually cut things out, instead of adding on more?
7. What impact does the progression of technology and current hustle culture have on feeling overwhelmed? And what do we gain/lose by living like this?
8. How does the quote "Perfection is the enemy of good enough" pop in your life?
9. What emotions and feelings might be avoided in this situation: someone who is socially anxious, quickly judges someone's actions, telling themselves a whole story of the other's motivations, without ever speaking to them; followed by distancing from said individual?
10. How do we know if we are avoiding or procrastinating on something, or it's simply part of the plan?
11. How do we become more aware that avoidance or procrastination is the coping strategy we are employing for a given activity?
12. A self-fulfilling prophecy is a prediction that comes true at least in part as a result of a person's belief's or expectations. How does this pattern relate to procrastination and avoidance?
13. Internally, what's the difference between the mindsets of someone who is proactive vs reactive?