Stop DEERing: Assertive Communication Without Defending or Explaining

Do you ever find yourself defending, explaining, excusing, or rationalizing your decisions—especially in conversations where you feel challenged? These habits, often called DEER behaviors, can quietly undermine confidence and authority in relationships, work, and everyday interactions.

In this men’s group discussion, we’ll explore how to recognize these patterns and replace them with clear, grounded, assertive communication. The goal isn’t aggression or dominance—it’s learning how to stand by your choices without over-justifying yourself.

During this session we’ll cover:
• What DEER behaviors are and why men often fall into them
• How over-explaining weakens your message
• Practical ways to respond with calm confidence
• Setting boundaries without hostility
• Communicating with clarity in relationships, work, and social situations

Through discussion, examples, and simple exercises, you’ll practice shifting from approval-seeking communication to direct, self-respecting expression.

If you want to become more comfortable holding your ground, speaking plainly, and maintaining respect in difficult conversations, this meetup will give you tools you can use immediately. Join us for an engaging night of conversation and personal growth.

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Join us every Wednesday at 6:00 PM for our weekly Men's Group meeting! This is an opportunity to connect with like-minded men and engage in conversations about topics that are important to us.

During the first hour of the meeting, we'll break into small groups to check-in with each other. This is a chance to share what's been going on in your life and get support from your fellow group members. We believe in creating a safe and supportive environment where everyone can feel comfortable sharing.

For the second half of the meeting, we'll have a topic of discussion that focuses on masculinity, success, relationships, dating, health, finance and what it takes to be an integrated man in todays world. We encourage all members to participate and share their thoughts and experiences.

If it's your first time attending, don't worry! Just introduce yourself and tell us a bit about yourself and what brings you to the group.

We have a few guidelines to ensure that everyone has a positive experience. Please silence your phone to respect others during check-ins or when someone is presenting. Additionally, we ask that you order food or drink from the club to compensate for our use of the space.

Feel free to come early and socialize before the meeting. Most weeks, a few guys are there by 5:30. We usually meet in the south side, but depending on circumstances, we may be in a different part of the club.

We look forward to seeing you there and building a supportive community of men!