The 9 Iron Rules: Understanding Tomassi’s Core Principles for Modern Men

What does it really mean to hold frame, maintain self-respect, and operate from abundance rather than fear?

In this men’s group discussion, we’ll break down and examine the 9 Iron Rules of Tomassi—a set of provocative principles that challenge conventional dating narratives and force men to rethink attraction, relationships, and masculine identity.

Rather than blindly accepting or rejecting these ideas, we’ll explore what they mean in real life, how they apply today, and where nuance, maturity, and personal values come into play.

Topics include:
• Why frame is the foundation of attraction and leadership
• The danger of waiting, negotiating desire, and chasing validation
• When to walk away vs. when to work things out
• Why self-respect must come before romance
• How scarcity thinking sabotages men
• The difference between being desirable and being available
• The risks of self-deprecation and approval-seeking
• Understanding sexual polarity and relationship dynamics

This is not about hating women or playing games—it’s about understanding power dynamics, self-worth, and how men unintentionally undermine themselves.

Expect open discussion, disagreement, personal reflection, and practical takeaways. This session is ideal for men who want clarity, stronger boundaries, and more grounded confidence in their relationships.

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Join us every Wednesday at 6:00 PM for our weekly Men's Group meeting! This is an opportunity to connect with like-minded men and engage in conversations about topics that are important to us.

During the first hour of the meeting, we'll break into small groups to check-in with each other. This is a chance to share what's been going on in your life and get support from your fellow group members. We believe in creating a safe and supportive environment where everyone can feel comfortable sharing.

For the second half of the meeting, we'll have a topic of discussion that focuses on masculinity, success, relationships, dating, health, finance and what it takes to be an integrated man in todays world. We encourage all members to participate and share their thoughts and experiences.

If it's your first time attending, don't worry! Just introduce yourself and tell us a bit about yourself and what brings you to the group.

We have a few guidelines to ensure that everyone has a positive experience. Please silence your phone to respect others during check-ins or when someone is presenting. Additionally, we ask that you order food or drink from the club to compensate for our use of the space.

Feel free to come early and socialize before the meeting. Most weeks, a few guys are there by 5:30. We usually meet in the south side, but depending on circumstances, we may be in a different part of the club.

We look forward to seeing you there and building a supportive community of men!