MEARS ENM Community Support Group

*The address of this event is hidden to protect the privacy of our attendees and community members. If you have not attended group with us before please send Tess a DM to inquire about potentially receiving the address. 😁✨🌻
*We’re asking for a $5 suggested donation to the host for letting us use this beautiful space, no one will be turned away for lack of funds though and we wont be publically passing around a donation jar or anything as we dont want anyone to feel shame about not having funds to give. What is most important to us is that you know we want you there building community with us!

Ok now what's going on!?!
MEARS stands for Minorities Exploring Alternative Relationship Styles, this informal community lead support group is a compassionate and caring space to discuss ENM (Ethical Non-Monogamy) and deepen our community ties within Denver and the surrounding areas!
This is a place to take ownership and acknowledge our human emotions, free from judgement, so we can truly do the deep relationship work that sustains and amplifies our connections.
We can both seek support and counsel from our peers here, offer our own support to others and also see that we are not alone in these experiences which can often me layered with intesecitionality that comes with being a minority in this world.

This is an ENM community space that welcomes and centers itself around fem identifying, nonbinary, trans folx, queer, bi, gay, pansexual, asexual folx, the neurodiverse community and BIPOC folks ✨ Allies are welcome just please recognize you are a guest here, show up in a supportive role/mindset and refrain from taking up too much space in the dialogue. If you have done the work to sit with where you fall into a minority group, you are welcome here, (even if your designation to said group is not obvious, just maybe lead with this information when you DM Tess to make initial contact and receive approval/the address to join us).
That being said, please come join us, together we're creating an inclusive community in which we can find refuge and spiritual nourishment.

***Code of Conduct***
1. You must familiarize yourself with these rules/guidlines before attending the event.
2.Anything said here stays here! Please honor the vulnerability cultivated and displayed in these meetings with your confidentiality.
3. We are always respectful to each other. We listen, and we don’t interrupt.
-If you find you disagree with someone, express your disagreement in a way that allows for other perspectives to exist. Try to ask questions out of curiosity instead of making statements out of judgment. The goal here is to understand other perspectives more completely - not necessarily change them.
-No disrespectful or combative behavior will be tolerated and we will ask those who threaten the safe space we are all creating to leave if necessary.
4. We don’t talk poorly about our partners! We want this space to be supportive for everyone who comes into it, even just in the stories we tell here. Even when we’re hurt or struggling, it’s important to remember that these are people that we care for and, ultimately, are collaborating with for relationship success. It’s also important to remember that it is a rather small community we’re in… and big picture, we know that focusing on solutions and how to broach difficult subject matter serves us all better than gossip does. We are here to dig in and do the work, which will include looking at our side of the equation and staying focused on how progress can be made.
-We don't over-generalize by making judgments on their character or name call.
-We may describe a situation and what makes it difficult, or a series of similar situations and a perceived pattern. We may, of course, express our feelings. We do strive to speak on circumstances and experiences from a place of compassion, rather than from a place of frustration or anger. However, when we’re not there yet we can also speak to that anger and how we’re working through it.
5. Ask for what you want.
-We will have a mutual aid board/station at our events and in the fb group where folx can request help with things coming up
6. State the intention behind your share (to vent, help problem solving, anyone else been here I feel alone, ect) at the beginning of your share helps people show up for you the way you’d like.
-Let's work on refining our communication skills in this way. It's more of a goal for now than a rule though
-Trigger warnings - Please do your best to give a trigger warning before your share if you think it’s about a sensitive subject.
7. We support and uphold body positivity
-We recognize each individual has their own brand of beauty and want that beauty to have room to express itself!
-We also strive to be sensitive to potential triggers for folks with eating disorders. Please avoid talking about food and body image in negative or judgemental ways.
*For example; food being bad in some way, breaking your diet, glorifying eating too much at a gathering, planning to wear clothes that stretch, ect
*This is especially important around the holidays.*
-No man bashing or other over-generalizing.
8. Self care through taking space. You are encouraged to get up and take a moment if needed, and there’s no obligation to explain to the group what’s going on if that doesn’t feel good, either when excusing yourself or when returning. There will be both a restroom and a guest room you can sit in to reflect and collect yourself if needed.
-If it feels accessible to you, please let your hosts know how we can help you feel safe and get regulated if something does come up, and we will help however we can!
9. Allies are welcome, but please keep in mind you are a guest here, act accordingly. We have a zero-tolerance policy for hate speech, bigotry, or judgement. We are also not here to educate you, so if it seems we are continuously being drawn into questions that could be googled or otherwise self-taught, we will ask you to be a silent observer. If we find you to be a continuous tax on the space and attendees because of lack of self-awareness, we may ask you to leave the group as a whole.
10. Please refrain from attending if you don’t have the ability to hold space for others at this time. This is to take care of both you and the other attendees, as we aim to have this space be a place of reciprocal energy exchange.
-We’d love to catch you at a different event though!
11. Life is more fun with friends, and everyone has something to teach us, inclusion is a super power! You’re not required to be friends with anyone but it’s always nice to see a friendly face across the room and we love meeting new people. Tell folks that you think would be interested in our events about them and use our community google calendar to plan fun group outings!
-You're invited to DM Tess to be added to our community google calendar. It features all kinds of events including lifestyle, vanilla, and community activism opportunities which you can copy to your personal calendar!
-If you have any relevant events that you'd like us to consider adding to our curated list please DM Tess 😘 we’re happy to promote things relevant to the community, issues relevant to our community members and resources or events related to inner growth and self care.
12. We’re asking for a $5 suggested donation to the host for letting us use this beautiful space. However, no one will be turned away or watching to see if you’ve place a donation in the tin, so please come to be held in community no matter what your finances look like. The collection tin for donations will be located near the name tags at welcome station to the right of the front door when you first enter the house :) Events like this are what the world needs right now and people like YOU are what make these events great! 💖

Event structure:
-We start with a short community mingle session 6-6:30 (if you would like to show up early to beat traffic please contact our cohost Maggie to explore that option. She is the homeowner who is graciously letting us use her space for this event and the only one who might be there before 6. She might even teach you some cool homesteading skills while you hang out!)
-A small snack will be provided. Feel free to also bring your favorite snack or something you’re testing out for an upcoming event if you’re called to! We also recognize that this can be both a monetary and energy expenditure cost that isn’t accessible to everyone though, so it is not at all required, please feel free to come be in community with us regardless. When things lighten up in your world you can decide to put more on your plate then. We feel strongly that we are here to support the community and gather in each others presence vs ask for anything from individuals.
-BYOB, but also know this is not a place for heavy drinking or partying. We will have ice, water and plain sparkling water. Also please don't drink and drive.
-Mutual aid station–silent auction style requests for help over the next 1-4 months - option to submit anonymously by Text/DMing me or Ameris and we will write it down in our handwriting for you and see it gets on the community circle google calendar
-Help Maggie with a small group task for Maggie's Place. Mutual aid is one of our core values, and this is a great place to start giving back and helping one of our community elders! This is also a great way to give back if you can't give the $5 we suggest donating to the space.
-Community Google calendar station; here you can browse local events on our community Ical for sloshes and munches, community activation/political activism opportunities and more over the next month, or sign up for Maggie's Place events as well. People are additionally invited to add their events to a list of events to be considered and vetted for the community iCal.
-Fishbowl/hat for general topics that you are currently processing or struggling with. These will be randomly drawn for group discussion if there is a rare lull in the conversation. If you would prefer to save your share and bring it up in its completeness and your preferred timing, please do that instead.
-Get the space set up for the number of people who’ve RSVP’d

Flow once we sit down in circle - 630PM
-Quick overview of community ethos and ask if anyone has any questions.
-Quick intros (name and pronouns) and a short share about a current glimmer or success related to ENM.
*Let's counteract our natural negativity bias by intentionally tuning into gratitude for our community/partners! This is pre-processing resource building and will help us more easily reach for resiliency when digging into the deeper more challenging topics this evening.
-Shares/recent struggles
*We will aim to start our shares by saying what our goal for the share is, either to vent and be heard or to seek advice, resource recommendations and other perspectives. This is not a rule, just a communication goal which we believe could help everyone understand how to best show up for the person sharing therefore setting us all up for success.
-Discussion topics - These will likely vary month to month, and we might not event have time for them, but we will have the fishbowl available to add your own if you'd like. We may also use these in the fb group for discussions in the future.
-Review current community requests for Mutual Aid and see if we can get anyone marched up before we leave that night.
-Group share on upcoming events we're excited about.
-Time for feedback and suggestions on group format.
*What does it mean and look like to build community?
*What worked and what didn’t in regards to helping create a place where folks felt safe sharing and giving supportive feedback?
-What's coming up within the community! Life style and vanilla events that community members are excited about and have added to the calendar during our mingle time! Activism opportunities too!

Who are we?
Our main organizers are Tess and Ameris and our magnanimous host of the space is Maggie!

Tess is a genderfluid pansexual demisexual kinkster who feels at home in Polyamory, which she has been practicing for over 8 years. She previously had the privilege of attending a small local poly femme geared community circle which was a large part of the inspiration for this group. Our Community Ethos Standards are an expanded version of the ethics that group was built with some additions I've come across through exploring other events and alternative lifestyle spaces over the last year or so. I also widened audience to accommodate a greater variety of the community and encourage a diversity of perspectives when we gather.
In the past She held community circles focused on astrology and herbalism at her healing arts studio, both in a femmes only format and in an all gender inclusive format.
She’s also a reiki master and herbalist, with further certifications in massage, death doula services and yoga teacher training all of which have informed the lens she sees the world through. She strives to move away from colonial mindsets and incorporate an antiracist and anti-prejudice lens to her approach to community building and holding space.
In her free time she can be found climbing, walking her dog, paddleboarding and wild foraging herbal medicine in the Rocky Mountains. She also enjoys collaborating with her local community members and seeing the layers of connection unfold, so she’s hoping you will come add your unique flair to our collective quilt soon!

Ameris is a passionate community organizer dedicated to creating spaces full of belonging and support for diverse communities. She is passionate about social justice, decolonization, and community as an act of resistance. Originally from New York City, she created a monthly meetup for queer polyamorous folx seeking refuge and community. When she moved to Denver three years ago, she brought a desire for community building and creating safe spaces in which people can exist authentically.
Outside of her work as an organizer and full time job, you’ll find Ameris making art, reading a book, or discovering the latest sci-fi release. She has a love of collaboration and helping to build and elevate marginalized communities, and is excited to see what MEARS becomes!

Maggie's place is a delightful retreat from the city. Tucked away in Southwest Denver, it has many garden beds, beehives, chickens, as well as spots to sit back and enjoy the outdoors. While the inside is full of plants, unique, and cozy decor, what’s more important is the space Maggie creates. This is a place where you can come aside from our community circles to be around other open minded, inclusive, driven folks, to co-work, relax, or learn skills from Maggie. You can also come to create art at her mandala workshops, work in the glass studio, or come to a plant swap! Check out all of the events and some engaging videos about homesteading, queer issues and inclusivity and more on her fb page, you can find the link under the location of this event. Maggie is a creator in many ways but she has also been a part of the Denver LGBTQIA community for decades and has jseen it grow and change over the course of this time. Community has always been a foundation upon which she’s been able to inspire and be inspired by others and she is thrilled to see that rooting and growing more each season at her urban homestead, come join us!

Disclaimer
We are not therapists and there will not be one present in any professional capacity. This event is simply geared towards community members supporting and sharing with each other. Choose whether to attend and what you share according to your comfort level and capacity to handle what’s brought up after you leave our group that evening. Therapy is an excellent self care practice and this group is not meant to replace your therapist.
**~What is said in group stays in group, please respect people’s courage and vulnerability with your discretion. ~**
Also feel free to DM me with questions. I look forward to cocreating community with y'all!

General Info:
* Dress: Casual
* Kid Friendly: No
* First time group attendees allowed: Yes but you must DM Tess for further info
* Animals allowed: Well behaved animals only please. Maggie has 2 small dogs and an elderly and delicate cat.
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Rules:
*Ask for what you want, communication is key.
*Use a coaster for your glass on all indoor wood surfaces.
*Please avoid perfume/cologne when coming to this event. Some people may be extremely sensitive.
*Everyone must read and adhere to the Community Ethos Standards
*We take consent and respect for all very seriously, and have zero tolerance for careless and inappropriate behavior in those realms. If you need support or anything regarding someone being disrespectful please notify one of the hosts (Tess, Ameris or Maggie) ASAP and we will absolutely make the time to handle the situation and assist you in feeling safe however we can.
*We reserve the right to ask anyone to leave at any time.
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Accessibility Info: ***Please reach out to Tess if this is a barrier for you so we can brainstorm whether we can make the accommodations needed to assist you in joining us! ***
* Stairs/steps/lips: stairs to the outside fire pit area when weather appropriate.
* Wide hallways/doors: Yes
* Restrooms: Yes
* Uneven ground: front walk has stones and creeping thyme, but no steps
* Cats / dogs: yes both
* Other allergy risks: please DM Tess in advance and we will communicate and accommodate to the best of our ability
* Subtitles / ASL: None *we would be very open to having a ASL interpreter join us if needed but they would have to volunteer their time
* Light (Natural / Florescent / Screens): Home setting indoor & outdoor lighting
* Sound Level: Low to med (People socializing)
* Seated or Standing event: mingling then seated
* Shade: Evening event
* Name tags: Yes
* Introvert space available: yes just ask your hosts
* Group will not be separated by gender

*** Most, if not all, of this is open to discussion with our community members! We aim to create a space where everyone feels safe enough to be brave and vulnerable, and we acknowledge that feedback from and collaboration with our community members is essential to accomplishing that! We are committed to growing as society and awareness on sensitive subjects evolve and welcome opportunities to do so, please don’t be shy if something could be worded better or there’s something that could be added to amplify the intentions behind the space we’re creating.