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# Friendship in Immigration: When Friendship Feels One-Sided

### Initiative, reciprocity & when to step back

You’re the one who texts first.
You suggest meeting. You check in. You keep the connection going.
And eventually you start wondering:
Do they actually want to be friends with me — or am I doing all the work?
Friendships are rarely perfectly 50/50. Some people initiate more, some are better at responding, and people have different personalities, schedules, and ways of showing care.
But there is also a point where effort can start to feel lonely.
This is for you if:

  • you often feel like you’re the one keeping friendships alive;
  • you’re not sure whether someone is busy or simply not interested;
  • you worry about trying “too hard”;
  • you find it difficult to know when to keep reaching out and when to step back;
  • rejection or silence feels especially painful after immigration.

In this group, we’ll explore what reciprocity can actually look like — beyond simply counting who texted first.
We’ll talk about the difference between initiative and carrying an entire relationship, how to notice patterns instead of overinterpreting one interaction, and how to protect your energy without shutting yourself off from connection.
There will be a short reflection exercise and lots of space for discussion and optional sharing.
This is not about judging people as “good friends” or “bad friends.” It’s about understanding what mutuality feels like to you — and what level of effort feels respectful both to the relationship and to yourself.
Free online support group for immigrants in Montreal.
Come as you are. You can participate as much or as little as feels comfortable.
About the host:
I’m Dasha, an immigrant and ACC ICF coach working with immigrants and people navigating life transitions, starting over, and inner conflict. I facilitate these groups as a space for honest reflection, connection, and conversations that can be difficult to have elsewhere.

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