5 Secrets Of Effective Communication

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Practically all of us have a friend, colleague, client, customer or family member we aren’t getting along with very well. Perhaps the difficult person in your life is excessively critical of you, complains constantly, won’t express his or her feelings, always has to be right, or never listens to you. Does anyone come to mind?

The 5 Secrets of Effective Communication are secrets that secrets that can rapidly transform conflict and misunderstanding into intimacy and trust. It can be remembered using the acronym EAR:
E = Empathy

• The Disarming Technique: You find truth in what the other person is saying, even if it seems illogical, self-serving, distorted, or just plain “wrong.”
• Thought and Feeling Empathy: You summarize what the other person just said (Thought Empathy) and acknowledge how he or she is probably feeling, given what he or she just said (Feeling Empathy)
• Inquiry: You as gentle, probing questions to learn more about what the other person is thinking and feeling.

A = Assertiveness

• “I Feel” Statements: You express your own feelings and ideas openly according to the formula, “I’m feeling X, Y, and Z right now,” where are X, Y and Z refer to any of a wide variety of feeling words, such as anxious, attacked, hurt, or sad.

R = Respect

• Affirmation (formerly called Stroking): You convey warmth, caring and respect, even in the heat of battle