The Third thing: The Value of Action Without Applause

Let’s start the year (2026) with a deep reflection: What drives our choices? Are we pursuing what genuinely brings us joy, or are we shaped by external rewards and expectations?

You’ve probably heard of Marcus Aurelius. In his writings, he talks about something called “The Third Thing.” This is the external reward, recognition, status, or validation we often chase when we make choices. Marcus Aurelius explains that when we focus too much on this “third thing,” the original purpose, the thing that truly mattered to you, loses its value. And that can become a real problem.

Every year we set goals and make plans for change that seems genuine. But as time passes, motivation fades. Why does that happen? And more importantly, how can we live in a way that feels truly meaningful to us, rather than living for other people’s approval?

In our next meeting, we will discuss what happens when we stop chasing external validation and begin focusing on intrinsic values, just as Marcus Aurelius encourages in his Meditations.

Let’s explore what it might look like to live authentically, do good for its own sake, and rediscover joy from within.

Questions will Explore:

1. How would you personally define intrinsic motivation and external motivation?
2. If you removed external rewards (such as attention, money, praise etc.), would you still choose to do what you are doing now? If not, what would you dare to do differently?
3. What “third thing” do you often crave after doing something good: appreciation, gratitude, admiration, or status ? How do you train ourself to find meaning in the action itself rather than in other people's reactions?
4. If you didn’t have to prove anything to anyone, what would you allow yourself to do more freely?
5. How will you remind yourself this year that the action itself is enough?

IMPORTANT NOTE: This is not a debate. It is a reflective discussion where we thoughtfully examine the human condition, consider social structures, share personal perspectives, explore diverse viewpoints, and respectfully challenge one another’s assumptions.

We'll also ask for a small $2 donation to help us cover the Meetup fees.

Come ready for great conversations, paradigm-shifting insights, and a welcoming community of curious and thoughtful individuals ready to examine the fundamental forces that drive human behavior.

Perfect for philosophers, psychology enthusiasts, anyone who love exploring the big questions that shape how we live.

If you are attending, please read the guidelines below to help keep this a welcoming space for all of us 😊. Thank you and I hope to have a deep discussion with you soon.

[https://docs.google.com/document/d/1FmaAcVASz_pQA9ikS_X-wF-8m8JfnZYESy6Yy4RxgwY/edit?usp=drivesdk]