[Tuesday] Discussion: Which is worse, regret, shame or a lie?

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Regret, shame, and lying are deeply human experiences, each carrying emotional and ethical weight. Regret often follows a decision we wish we could undo. Shame touches our sense of identity, making us question who we are. A lie can protect, manipulate, or avoid consequences—but it can also damage trust and integrity. Each affects us and others in different ways. In this discussion, we’ll explore how these experiences shape our choices, relationships, and self-perception—and whether one feels heavier or more harmful than the others.

1. How do you define regret, shame, and lying? How are they different?
2. Which of the three feels most difficult for you to experience—and why?
3. Can regret be healthy or productive? In what ways?
4. How is shame different from guilt?
5. What motivates people to lie, even when they know it may cause harm?
6. Is lying always wrong, or are there situations where it feels justified?
7. Can regret exist without shame? Can shame exist without regret?
8. How do these experiences affect relationships and trust?
9. Which of the three is hardest to recover from—and what helps healing?
10. Do you think one of these has longer-lasting consequences than the others?
11. How have regret, shame, or lying shaped your personal growth over time?

These are just some of the questions we will discuss during our meetup. No preparation needed, just bring yourself and a willingness to listen and share your thoughts.

The meetup will be structured in a way to promote small group discussion so everyone has a chance to listen, be heard, and really dive into the discussion.

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## How our discussions work

• Each meetup has a clear topic and guiding questions.
  We stay with them so everyone gets the conversation they came for.
• This is a reflective discussion, not a debate.
  The focus is understanding and exploration rather than persuasion or winning an argument.
• We speak from personal experience.
  Sharing is encouraged; judging, correcting, or speaking over others isn’t.
• We move one question at a time.
  Related thoughts are welcome when they support the question we’re exploring.
• We share the space.
  Everyone has a chance to speak, and no one is expected to dominate or perform.
• We listen generously.
  Curiosity, presence, and openness matter more than certainty.
• This is a non-political, non-outrage space.
  The emphasis is on reflection and connection, not debate or escalation.

We'll arrange tables of 6 participants each. When you arrive, please gather next to Amazon Go. Once enough people are assembled, I'll escort each group of 6 to their table to begin the discussion, and continue doing this as more participants arrive.

Each table will receive a sheet containing the topic description and discussion questions. Feel free to take a photo or refer to the event page to have your own copy handy.

The official event time is from 7:00 pm to 9:00 pm, but some of us stay longer, transitioning into informal conversations beyond the topic. You're welcome to join any other ongoing discussions once your initial group wraps up and members start leaving.