20 Stupid Things We Do as DBAs with Paresh Motiwala

Title: 20 Stupid Things We Do as DBAs with Paresh Motiwala
Abstract:
I have made some serious mistakes as DBA. I have seen others make even more serious mistakes. In this session, I will highlight some of the 20 such mistakes. Some of them can be career ending or what I call as a "Resume Regenerating Events"; with the hope that you don't make the same mistakes I did. Here's some gems:

• Running DELETE without a WHERE clause — the fastest way to meet new people in HR.
• Dropping the wrong database — also known as “instant career mobility.”
• Backing up to a drive that’s already full — because nothing says “professional DBA” like 0 KB free space.
• Not testing restores — backups are just expensive decorations until proven otherwise.
• Giving developers sysadmin — the database equivalent of handing a toddler a chainsaw.
• Ignoring SQL Agent job failures — if you don’t check them, they can’t hurt you.
• Letting autogrowth run at 1 MB — death by a thousand tiny file expansions.
• Leaving TempDB with one data file — running a marathon with one shoe.
• Not monitoring disk space — surprise outages build character.
• Using SA for everything — because who needs security when you have vibes.
• Not documenting anything — future you will absolutely hate past you.
• Assuming replication “just works” — replication is quiet only when it’s plotting something.
• Ignoring deadlocks — let the database fight it out, winner takes all.
• Leaving orphaned users everywhere — a haunted house of forgotten logins.
• Not patching SQL Server — running mission‑critical workloads on a version older than your kids.
• Treating warnings as optional reading — until one becomes a Sev 1 and ruins your weekend.
• Running code in production “just to test something” — famous last words.
• Pointing apps to the wrong server — “Why is prod so slow?” Because you’re on dev.
• Letting maintenance plans run untouched for years — “If it ain’t broke, don’t check it.”
• Ignoring the default trace — the one place that tells you exactly who broke what.
• Many more including ignoring self, ignoring mind, ignoring health, ignoring professional development.

6:00 pm - get to MS Las Colinas & get some food
6:30 - 6:45ish - Announcements & Ask the Experts
6:45-7pm - Start Presentation
8:30pm - End Presentation; Wrap Up
When: Thursday, August 20, 2026
Food - Pizza