What we’re about
Are the scripts we've inherited about sex still serving us? Maybe they came from our culture. Our parents. Porn. That one f*ckboy who made us think it was love. Purity culture. TV. Church. Hookup apps. Pain... The list goes on.
This Space is for women-identifying and non-binary people who've ever felt:
💥 Like they were performing sex instead of feeling it
💥 Disconnected from their body, their want, or their “yes”
💥 Pressured to be empowered in a way that felt fake
💥 Afraid to admit they’re healing, shifting, or just not into it right now
💥 Sick of the noise—and ready for something real
Laughter + grief + “WTF was that?” moments are all welcome.
✨ Just come as you are, and leave with something more honest.
Free and confidential – hosted on Totem’s secure platform
Guided sharing – everyone gets a turn, no pressure to overshare
Upcoming events (1)
See all- Un*fucking Sexpectations Online Support Circle: What Do You Actually Want?Link visible for attendees
PLEASE READ
RSVPing on Meetup doesn’t reserve your spot for this session!To join, please sign up through our site here: Sexpectation Sign Up
All sessions are free, and signing up on the site helps us create a smoother experience for everyone.Feel free to message me with any questions or concerns!
About This Session
Maybe you don’t know what you want yet. Maybe it changes day to day.
Maybe you learned that wanting less makes you “boring,” or wanting more makes you “too much.” Maybe it felt easier to go along than to risk an awkward conversation.Or maybe you were never asked the question out loud, so you stopped asking it yourself.
This session is about exploring all the feelings, questions, concerns, and discomfort that come up when we ask: “What do you actually want?” Share what you know, share what you don’t — it all belongs here.
How It Works
- Free and confidential – hosted on Totem’s secure platform
- Guided sharing – everyone gets a turn, no pressure to overshare
- Family-friendly – babies, toddlers, and background noise welcome
Meet Your Host
Hello! I'm Vanessa, an LA based artist and recovering hot mess. I'm a co-founder at totem.org where I host free guided Spaces to build online communities where we can feel seen, heard, and reminded that we're not going through these WTF moments alone.
