17 secrets to a successful relationship
Details
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ak4j5pVHDGg
This video from The School of Life presents a counter-intuitive checklist of 17 "secrets" to building and maintaining a successful, long-term relationship. The core philosophy is to move away from idealistic expectations toward a more grounded, realistic approach that acknowledges human imperfection.
### Key Principles for Relationships:
- Embrace Imperfection: Acknowledge from the start that both partners are "mad," distorted by their pasts, and prone to irrationality
- Practical Humility: Remove pride, make jokes about your own foolishness, and make apologies frequent and low-cost
- Authentic Communication: Rather than stifling emotion, explore disappointments and moderate anger safely. Use "I feel" statements instead of categorical insults to describe a partner's traits.
- Manage Expectations: Accept that love will suffer during phases like raising children, and recognize that a partner cannot save you from your own internal disturbances.
- Self-Responsibility: Be happy in yourself, don't project your own life crises onto the relationship, and consider therapy.
- Stay by Choice: Remain in the relationship out of choice rather than desperation, and be prepared (even if reluctant) to leave if necessary.
Other advice includes maintaining a sense of gratitude, nurturing physical intimacy, handling external crushes gently , and understanding attachment theory.
Are these really secrets?
We practice all of them, right?
Do you agree with how to handle "external" crushes?