What is Offensive: Who Decides? (Questions That Matter Free Discussion Group)

What is Offensive: Who Decides?

We live in a moment where the question of who controls the line between edgy and harmful, between humor and hate, between cultural difference and willful ignorance seems to be up for debate.

Someone shares something they think is funny. Someone else is genuinely hurt by it. The first person says "you're too sensitive." The second says "you don't get to tell me what hurts me." And you now have two people who both feel wronged, a group that doesn't know whose side to take, and a conversation that was never really about the joke at all.

For tonight’s Questions That Matter Discussion we’ll be looking at questions and prompts for the conversation like:

1. To what degree does intent matter? If someone genuinely didn't know something was harmful, does that change how you respond to the harm?

2. Think of something you find genuinely offensive that most people around you seem fine with. What causes the gap between your reaction and theirs?

3. Offense tends to flow in predictable directions. How do we determine who has the cultural permission to push boundaries and who doesn't?

4. We’ve all heard the defense: 'There are worse things happening in the world.' Where is the line between needing a reality check and weaponizing global suffering to dismiss someone's boundaries?

5. In genuinely multicultural spaces like ours, how do each of us develop a shared standard for what's acceptable?

6. What do you actually owe someone who tells you that you hurt them — even if you didn't mean to, even if you don't fully understand why?

As usual, the goal of the night isn’t simply to agree, disagree, or learn. It’s also to connect through genuine, lively, interactive discussion and, potentially, to go to some of the unexpected and uncharted places that deep and free conversation can take us.

Since we started Questions That Matter, between 25 and 50 people have joined us weekly. When we wrap up, we hope you’ll mingle and exchange numbers. As polarized as the world is right now, one of the deepest connections still available to human beings is a shared meal, and every week many of us all go for dinner and you’re very welcome to join us.

Whether you’re in Chiang Mai for a short visit or you’re a long-term expat, we hope you can join us—not only to explore the deeper questions but to make new connections and friendships.

If possible, please support the venue, 4seas, by purchasing a beverage or a snack. They are kindly providing the space to us at no charge.

See you Wednesday.