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A free live talk with Jamie and Robbie.

Register here for zoom link: https://houseofconnection.as.me/?appointmentType=99720034

It goes something like this…

Jen’s in the kitchen looking for a snack, tired, stressed about work, and wondering why her friend hasn’t texted back. Daniel comes up and wraps his arms around her. He’s tired and stressed too, and is reaching for connection. She tenses at his touch. To her, it feels like pressure, inconvenient and annoying. Maybe she moves away, gets busy, or says “not right now.” He gets a little hurt and confused. She feels guilty and anxious, and checks in. They try to talk through it, but it’s tense and tedious (again).

Or maybe she goes along with it (again) so he doesn’t feel rejected, and they end up having sex. Neither of them feels great after. She’s even more tired, resentful, and guilty. “What’s wrong with me? Why don’t I like sex? Why didn’t I just say no?! Why does he always pressure me?? I don’t know how much longer I can keep doing this.” He gets some temporary relief, but deep down, he feels her resentment.

They’re both so tired of this. Their relationship is great in some ways, but they’ve started to wonder if it would be best to go their separate ways and find someone more compatible.

If you can relate, you’ve probably already tried some stuff (processing, fighting, going on a “break,” polarity teachings, couples therapy, talking about opening up the relationship), but none of it shifted the underlying tension, so you’re still stuck in the cycle.

Other approaches teach communication strategies: talking, listening, reflecting, validating, and some kind of compromise, including her telling him what turns her on and off, and him trying to adjust. Communication is important, but by itself it just makes you better at explaining the problems, which doesn’t solve them.

What we’ve found actually shifts this cycle is learning to pause the analysis and find the direct connection that’s available, even when it’s still tangled up with resentment, disgust, or hardness. Our approach gets underneath the relationship tensions and helps you remember and experience what’s good about your connection, in a way that feels safe and low pressure. When you do this regularly, the tension starts to dissolve, your hearts open back up, and you find yourselves having exhilarating, connected, loving sex that you both genuinely want.

And the whole process can be really fun.

In this introductory talk:

Women, we’ll tell you three shifts that make it safer and easier to say yes to the intimacy you genuinely want and no to the rest, as many times as you need, with confidence, compassion, and self-acceptance.

Men, we’ll tell you the three most important things you can do to bring more ease and safety into the room, for yourself and her. It’s good to want what you want, and you can have the connection you’re wanting without overriding or suppressing anything.

About safety and consent: We know that sex and intimate relationship dynamics can be tender, vulnerable, and charged. A couple things to know about the call:
- Be as anonymous as you’d like. Camera off and fake names are fine.
- We won’t make either of you wrong, and we’ll never suggest that either of you should have sex when you don’t feel like it, or that you should open, trust, soften, or connect when those don’t feel true.
- We’ll also give you a little tool to stay connected with yourself throughout the call.

Register here for zoom link: https://houseofconnection.as.me/?appointmentType=99720034

Ps a note on gender and orientation: We talk about this topic in terms of a man and a woman in particular relational roles, because it’s where we have the most experience. Of course this can happen with the roles reversed, and in all gender configurations. If your dynamic is related but different, you’re very welcome, and we hope the tools and insights help you too.

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