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Let’s consider:

  • What is marriage for? Is it primarily about love, family formation, mutual care, social stability, religion, law, property, or something else?
  • Is marriage, on balance, a desirable institution for individuals and society? Why or why not?
  • Should the state actively promote marriage, remain neutral toward it, or try to reduce its social importance? Should marriage be treated differently from other intimate relationships by society?
  • Is romantic love a good foundation for marriage? Is it sufficient, or is marriage better understood as a commitment that must survive changes in feeling?
  • Does marriage strengthen love by stabilizing it, or weaken it by institutionalizing it?
  • Is lifelong marriage a realistic ideal, a noble aspiration, or an outdated norm?
  • What helps a marriage endure over time: love, compatibility, shared values, good habits of communication, willingness to sacrifice, or something else?

No homework required, but if you’d like to reflect ahead of time, you can listen to this interview with Alain de Botton from the On Being podcast:
https://onbeing.org/programs/alain-de-botton-the-true-hard-work-of-love-and-relationships/

Thanks to Spartacus Books for generously opening up their space for us! If you're able, please support them with a small donation (suggested: $2), or with a purchase if one of their titles catches your fancy.

Shy Philosopher Night Procedure and Code of Ethics:
1. Discussion Style
We aim for a cooperative flow, like passing a ball among teammates rather than engaging in back-and-forth debates. Please share the “ball” so everyone has a voice.
2. Brief Points (2-3 Minutes)
Keep points concise so we can hear a variety of perspectives. Occasional exceptions may come up naturally, but our goal is inclusivity.
3. No Crosstalk
Respect the speaker’s time without interjecting or questioning mid-speech. If you’d like to add something, simply raise your hand and the facilitator will guide the flow.
4. Avoid Ad Hominem Remarks
Focus critiques on ideas, actions, or beliefs—not people. For example, say “This idea could have certain impacts” rather than “You’re wrong.” This ensures a respectful environment.
5. Respectful Engagement
As we are guests in someone’s home, let’s maintain a high level of respect for the space and one another. Mindfulness, patience, and courtesy are essential to making this gathering comfortable and enjoyable for all.
6. Cancellation Courtesy
If your plans change and you’re unable to attend, please let us know at least a day in advance by canceling your RSVP. Since space is limited, early notice helps ensure that someone else interested can join in your place. We really appreciate your understanding and help in making this a smooth, inclusive experience for everyone.

Looking forward to seeing you there!

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