Mindful Book Club: “Nonviolent Communication” by Marshall Rosenberg

Welcome to the first gathering of the Mindful Book Club at NINHO Lisboa. Summertime is almost behind us, no matter how much we’re holding on to it, and it seems like the right time to get back together and start chatting about some of my favorite books on Communication, Mindfulness, Love, Connection, Spirituality, and Meaning.

We’re starting off this season with the most important, most impactful book I’ve ever read. It’s one I keep coming back to again and again, and constantly finding new ways to understand it. We’re gonna be talking about Nonviolent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg. It’s a quick book that you can power through in a day at the beach, or you can really just do the first chunk of the book that outlines the Four Steps of Nonviolent Communication and get a good feel of what’s on the menu. There’s an audiobook version of it as well that’s only a few hours, plus the author has a very soothing, calm Santa voice to him, which is a bonus.

The idea behind this book isn’t necessarily how to communicate, even though that is a big focus of it. Really, it seems what we’re talking about with this book is Connection, rather than Communication. What does it mean to be connected with someone else, and how is it that our communication gets in the way of that connection? How does violence break that connection, and what is violence, after all, at a fundamental level?

How comfortable are you with expressing what’s alive in you? Instead of telling people what they’re doing wrong and why they’re upsetting you, are you comfortable with expressing your own feelings and needs, and making sincere requests to get those needs met? I asked this question to a friend last week, who told me she wasn’t comfortable in asking for what she needed, and felt more comfortable in asking someone why her needs aren’t being met. Why is that?

I recently had a huge, truly relationship changing epiphany about this book, and I’d love to share it when we meet. So come by NINHO Lisboa, on Thursday, September 28th, at 7PM, and let’s get together and understand a bit more about connection and communication.