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Single Parents - Divorced Adults Group Message Board › The Man Thread

The Man Thread

A former member
Post #: 9
As the title reads, this is The Man Thread. The place where you can tell us what’s on your mind, the place where you can ask questions, share your story, talk about things that only guys who have been through it would understand. This is also the place where anything from Lambeau Field, to not microwaving the baby bottle can be discussed. Need tips on how to scare-off boys? Glad to share my dos & don’ts. So pull up a stool, meet the guys, and tell us what’s on your mind.

Ladies, you can lurk and even chime in once in awhile. If you have a question you’d like a man perspective on, or need some manly advice; like how do I unclog the dishwasher drain, or what exactly is a Tap-&-Die set, ask away. Just remember if you enter, there is no complaining about the cigar smoke, the spittoon, or the dead animals mounted on the wall.

The rules are simple; I’d love to say there are none, but we all know what would happen then. So, common sense and the obvious three are it: 1) Keep it clean, nobody likes a potty mouth (Yes, I just said Potty Mouth in The Man Thread). 2) Keep it real, this may be the Internet but we do see and know each other in reality. 3) Keep it respectful, don’t forget the one that has the power to close our man cave is…not a man. In other words, think before you post.

Disclosure: This thread is the idea of a few members after a 12 pack…or so, included but not limited to: The Councilor [Scot], Mumbling Eric, Sara Watts (Believe me, if you heard her version of the English language Saturday night, you’d know she fits in), and myself. Though there was some debate by Shy [cough] Amy, Laura (Two-sides) K, and Mumbling Eric – Well, he was mumbling, I wasn’t quite sure :)

Lets get things started; welcome to The Man Thread, what’s on your mind…
A former member
Post #: 29
Wow Brad.. what a great idea!!!!!! here's my question for MEN out there. I have a daughter... how do I keep things "girly' for her sake, and not go crazy?. I also have a son and I find it easy to do guy things with him. And I try really hard with my daughter. We have tea parties, I've been known to wear a princess dress, and we love to snuggle. But I just wonder about things around the house. as I look around there are footballs, basketballs, baseballs, boy things EVERYWHERE. What can I do special for my daughter??? For those of you who don't know.. My daughter will be 5 in August and my son is 2.
A former member
Post #: 26
ummmm. . . pretty sure I am going to have issues with the rules. @Scot: what is wrong with a girl being not-so-girly?! You all seem to like it just fine!!!! Plus she has a mom, so don't worry too much!
A former member
Post #: 27
Also Scot, I think the main thing is you TREAT her like a little lady - that will set the standard for how she expects to be treated as an adult! I have Damon take the girls on daddy/daughter date night. One on one time for each of them. Doesn't happen too often, but I think it is worth the effort and he can do it on one of my nights so I will have the rest of the kids still.
A former member
Post #: 10
Scot, you’re on the right track, going crazy is part of parenthood. Nothing wrong with footballs and stuff, it is Dads house, and she may like to play. What she will remember though is you taking the time to play girl stuff with her. But I don't think bringing up your collage days of wearing a princess dress would be advised :)

You can transform any kid room to fit their personality for next to nothing. To complement my youngest daughters’ personality (Girlie-Girl) when she was little, we painted her room light pink; removed the ceiling fan and hung a cheaper (Home Depot) crystal chandelier in its place. Add to that some sheers, white & light colors (Which are cheap) over her window and hanging over the canopy bed, this made for a nice Cinderella theme.

Common areas are easy to accidentally man up on; the common areas generally fit the personality of the adult. Maybe some simple things like decor accents -- Think fem and it will come.
A former member
Post #: 11
After the split, did you notice the sudden need to change your normal meat & potatoes cooking style if you have girls?

Boys (I have a now 22 year old) eat anything. Girls seem to be more aware of their diet, at least in teen years. I now can say I think I’m getting pretty good at making Pasta with Olive Oil. – Defiantly had to brush up on my Martha Stuart skills.

My share info: I’ve learned one thing, it’s all in the base ingredient, it is the most expensive and the most important, start with one then stem off of it. Fresh Pesto is the best, make sure you freeze it, it will loose potency fast.

If you have any stand out recipes that teen girls would like, please share, I’m running on empty.

…And one more thing, thank God for Crock-Pots!
A former member
Post #: 31
@Brad - My family has always eaten "girly" at diner. ALWAYS a fruit and ALWAYS a veggie. I must admit I myself feel much better after I choak down a salad or gag on an orange. What I would suggest is that when you go out for diner, pay attention to what the girls order. Then when you get home search for something similar. For example if they order a chicken salad; go home and search the internet for "unique chicken salad receipe". I have no doubt there are many choices out there.
I think your "cooking style" question is really about personal image. You have two older girls, and personal image is a constant battle within them. I have no doubt you praise your girls and make them feel good about themselves. My daughter is still very young, but on a regular basis I sing her "More Beautiful You" by Jonny Diaz. I also post on my FB page when I find things to encourage young girls to be and look like who they are. I am not looking forward to the teen's with my daughter.

Here is a link to the music video... watch it with your girls.­
A former member
Post #: 2
Scot and Brad you both sound like great Dads, who truly have your kids best interests in mind, that's awesome!

For food, im pretty basic as simple when it comes to meals, but I have found that I had to deliberately shop for fruits and veggies and trying to incorporate them into meals I make for the kids. My ex (Kati) always made sure that we had this for our meals and now its up to me. So this was an adjustment for me. One thing that I did with the kids this year is that we put in a little garden in my back yard. Each of the kids got to pick a vegetable that they got to plant and are now growing. The intent is to have us eat them for dinner and to get them to like eating them and understand the importance of eating healthy. My thinking was that if they are actively participating in the care of their plants in the garden that they will look forward to eating them and have a great memory of doing this.

One thing that I am finding some difficulty/frustration with is picking out cloths for my kids... and getting things on them that match and look good. Im not obsessed about my kids looking a certain way, but I don't want them going to school and have people ask... 'who the hell dressed that kid'... lol My ex (Kati) always did the cloths shopping for the kids and they were always dressed really well. We do not share kids cloths, I have my cloths here at my house, and she has hers at her house. So now that I have been on my own for 9 months and the other day I went cloths shopping for the kids and I stood in the clothing department and kind of froze as I felt very overwhelmed as to what cloths to buy, what was stylish, what went well together, what matched with what... I was able to buy some things but I felt a little over my head.

I can fix and build almost anything, around the house, I can cook and clean, and have been loving my independence now that im out on my own.... BUT I found myself feeling un-prepared, and not 100% confident in picking out cloths for my kids at a store. Like I said I survived, and im okay, its just something that I found myself struggling with.

A former member
Post #: 32
@ Ryan. Thanks!! I love the garden idea. I recently moved to my new place and I have intentions of doing that next year. We planted peppers in pots this year. My kids just LOVE veggies and I want to take full advantage of that. And I agree if they take part in the growing/caring of the plants hopefully they will enjoy eating them even more.

As for clothes, I was in the same boat as you. Funny enough so was Renee. We rarely bought clothes for the kids. Usually the two Nana's took care of that for us. Don't get me wrong we did purchase outfits from time to time, but a majority of the clothes were provided. Well this summer I was on my own. The kids had grown out of my supply. I don't care soo much for fashion, because I let my daughter (4) dress herself already. So she never matches, and she can put together some of the oddest things. I am really only concered with function. does she have tank tops for really hot days, does she have shorts that fit. Are they dark enough that the sand at daycare won't show. Stuff like that. I will say this.. I recently went to Kohl's and just raided the clearence rack. Lots of clothes at cheep cheep prices. Also if you buy clothes in "sets"... you will always have a matching top and bottom :)

One area I really stuggle with clothes is finding them for MYSELF. With Steve and Barry's closed my only clothing source no longer exisits. I think the girls of SP/DA (not you Man-Sara) should create an event for the Men, and take them out and make them look good. Expecially to get ready for those "dates" or special events. Then they can walk us over to the kids sections and give us some tips. it's kind of pathetic, but Renee was the one who kept me looking good. When I go out with "she who will not be named" she ALWAYS looks great!!! and here I am in my casual outfit looking like a disaster.
A former member
Post #: 3
Great idea Scot!!! I need all the help I can get finding some nice cloths to wear so I dont look... well you know... I want to look nice. :)
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