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A former member
Post #: 18
That is how I feel. Broken inside. How do you go on with life, daily living, when you just don't want to be here anymore. I do have depression so those that are dealing with a tough life and have depression can understand me I am asking you how do you go on? My daughter is what keeps me here in this world.
A former member
Post #: 34
Hi Nicole,

I truly don't know of any greater motivator than someone you love such as your daughter or a family member in my case my mom and dad. They were divorced when I was 6, and I am an only child. They have full lives but they could not be with out me, that's what I thought of, I am sorry for the pain you have it is hard. The rest, I move one step, one minute, one second at a time, my goal is just to get to the next point. Overtime the steps get bigger and the pain less. Then you realize the joy that is all around you, even when you thought it wasn't. I wish you well. Welcome to the group, there are so many understanding and wonderful people in this group and I adore that you have the courage to reach out for advice, truly a great step.

Taylor
Mary A.
user 14361280
Madison, WI
Post #: 16
Hi Nicole,

I remember the feelings, even though they were long ago. Some day you'll look back and realize how far you've come, too. I could talk to you for hours about why you shouldn't feel this way, but I'll try to give you the big stuff, quickly:

1. You are on this planet for a reason...no "extras" are born. You are here because you are supposed to help the world in some way.
2. Your daughter is here to remind you of that, at to pull you through the tough stuff. Have FUN with her and EVERYTHING else that makes you smile or feel fulfilled...immerse yourself in it...that's what life is for!
3. Perhaps the old you is broken...it's so you can make a NEW YOU. We are meant to continually grow and learn and re-create ourselves, no matter how comfortable we thought we were with the current person, there's still so much to learn about who you really are, deep, deep down. We'd never realize who we really are unless we are challenged and start to try new things and learn new things. Even the seemingly "bad" things in life make us realize what we CAN do and what we CAN survive or even thrive in. So, the sooner you take action on the new you, the better you will feel.
4. Get MOVING! Sitting still invites depression and the feeling of defeat. No matter what the weather, get outside and walk and think ONLY about everything you want in your dream life. It cannot come to you while you're focusing on the past or anything negative.
5. CHANGE! Change everything that doesn't make you giddy or feel safe. In order to make your days different, you have to DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT...big or small, all of it matters!

I will refrain from lecturing too much...this is a lot to start on. No beating yourself up on bad days, either...you are healing and growing...it's okay to grieve...just work on doing it less and less and soon, you won't need it anymore. Even when you don't feel like it, TAKE GOOD CARE OF YOURSELF! Your daughter (and the world, truly) is depending on it. Free uplifting articles on my website too, if you enjoy reading...AnniePress.com.

I'm glad you posted...this group is wonderful and you will get a lot of support here. You also don't realize, you're helping others that feel the same way, so see...the world counts on you!

Make it a smiling day,

Mary Anne
Rick
RickThePerson
Madison, WI
Post #: 9
You need to survive for your daughter, you need to live for yourself. Given that your divorce was 2 years ago, the initial sting and shock should be gone. If the depression you have is this strong all the time, it would be worth looking into professional counseling and possibly temporary medication. You must survive, so do whatever it takes.

Beyond that, think back to before you were married, before you even met your ex. What did enjoy doing? What made you happy? I know at the end of my marriage I couldn't answer those questions. Once you have some ideas, work to organize your schedule to allow you to do those activities. Doing something you enjoy is an amazing antidote for depression.
A former member
Post #: 19
Thank you guys. I would never do anything just for the fact that I have my daughter. I don't want my only reason to be living this life to be for her and it is right now. I have suffered from depression/anxiety for 20 some years now. I am on medication and seeking help all through my life but it doesn't seem to help. I do think back before my marriage and sadly I've been broken my entire life. Life has been hard for me forever. Walking helps immensely but sometimes I don't know what to do on days I feel like I can't do one single thing. I do feel better. I am stronger than I would like to be.
Mary A.
user 14361280
Madison, WI
Post #: 17
On those days you feel like you can't move, you HAVE TO. Even if you don't feel like it, MOVE and do ONE THING that will make you feel productive afterwards. ANY FORM OF EXERCISE...especially outside where nature and the sun will help you tremendously...do you get enough sunlight? Perhaps you should check out a special light, if you don't have one.

Never give up...you'd be giving up on your daughter, the world (YES, the world NEEDS YOU!) and of course, yourself. Every day, MAKE yourself MOVE and do something YOU want to do or try. Whether it's exercise, a chore around your house, or checking out a new hobby, or reading about something you wanted to learn, VOLUNTEERING!, etc. just do ONE thing that will make you feel like the day was not a waste. Make sure your life is about doing more than working...working is just what you do to have the funds to do what you want in life...unless you go after work that is purposeful, which I recommend strongly.

You can help yourself more than you know...there's more ideas in my book, RISE ABOVE THE SH**! too...you can get it at the library if you want to check it out. I'm also happy to donate a copy to the resource library of anywhere you go for therapy/support. They can request a copy by emailing me at MaryAnne@AnniePress.com or messaging me on Facebook at Mary Anne's FB Page

Are you on Facebook? It's nice to have little pick-me-ups from other people and I try to post inspirational stuff...friend me. Everything good you do for yourself helps!!

K--get moving now ; )

Mary Anne
A former member
Post #: 1
Some info on me..

I've been on anti-depressants for the last 4-5 years to help "stabilize" my mood so I don't have the extreme highs and lows that plagued me for years. I have 2 boys, 8 and 3, and about 2 weeks ago, I moved into a friend's basement (thankfully, he kept me away from moving into "a van down by the river"). The weekend I moved was the 2 WORST days in my life and I constantly thought about "not wanting to be around". Thinking of my boys kept me afloat long enough to seek immediate counsel which helped me tremendously.

I was able to talk to a completely neutral party (which my family and her family are not, even though they swear they are) about things that had been going through my head and why I had been thinking the way I had and I went to see a doctor that doubled the dosage of my medication. This allowed me to see through the "haze" and this combined with an increase in physical activities and finding ways to "let it all out", has really changed my outlook. I've thought a lot about what I like about myself (who would have thought that I would fall in love with my pinkie finger again??) and what I would like to work on, for myself and my kids and not because she didn't like it. I also realized that when I got into my "funk", the music I listened and the books I read did not help and probably added negatively to the situation.

Soooo.. If you're already on medication, I would suggest talking to someone about whether or not a new dosage or different medication might be appropriate. Find some music that makes you want to get out of the funk and have it readily available. I find that listening even to a little bit of it helps me prevent the "Why me?/What if..?/Maybe if I had../What do I do know?" downward spiral from getting out of hand.
Optimistic C.
OptimisticChris
Madison, WI
Post #: 24
As a Physical Education teacher, I am thrilled to see so many people extol the incredible benefits of exercise. Some is better than none... ALWAYS!

Regarding music... the radio is often filled with sappy love songs that served only to bring me down during my breakup. I now tune to WORT (89.9fm) or WPR (88.7fm). Another option is Pandora.com on the internet where you can easily sign up (free) and then choose your artist or genre of music. I jammed Billy Joel and Rod Stewart and MeatLoaf... laughing

Nicole... up the street and over Monona Drive... literally two minutes away, are 40 acres of beautiful trails, ponds, indian mounds... (Edna Taylor Conservation Park, Woodland Park and Leopold Nature Center (http://www.cityofmadi...­. It is one of my favourite places in Madison!
Take your little lady... she will LOVE IT.

I hope you are having a lovely day.

OC
Laura
user 6540411
Madison, WI
Post #: 138
This group is so great! I love how folks step up and lend support whenever it is needed. Wow!

Aside from things others have already said, I would encourage you to try to get to some of our group events. Getting out among others who could relate to how I was feeling (and with whom I did not have to "pretend" to be happy) and just having FUN was the single biggest thing that helped me crawl out of the pit of despair in which I found myself.



A former member
Post #: 20
You guys are awesome. I think I must have just hit a temporary bump in the road, my mood was probably worse off because of a sinus infection and men (LOL) sorry guys. Actually I have improved immensely with the medication I have recently changed to before I was just non existant, ghost like. Having bumps in the road when you already suffer from depression is hard but I am stronger than I like to admit so I have turned to 102.5 because Chris is right so much sappy or break up songs on the radio. And Laura hit it the nail on the head I withdraw because I need to find people that I don't have to pretend to be happy.
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