The Socrates Café — Philosophers Quotes Edition - Oba 7th floor.
Details
This is a new edition of the Socrates cafe with a new format.
In this edition, the moderator will pick a specific quote, topic or question from a known philosophers (example; Voltaire, Kant, Marcus Aurelius, Hypatia of Alexandria, Rousseau, Machiavelli, Descartes, Plato and others).
A summary around a page will be provided in the event (See below - The topic of this Session)
Please take the time to read.
The Moderator will read the summary and give an introduction of the topic. Then, we will have an open discussion, and a final round when everyone will give their conclusions.
The topic of this Session
Epictetus - No Harm Without Cooperation: “Another person cannot hurt you without your own belief in the injury; you are hurt the moment you believe yourself to be.”
The Core Idea: You Are the Final Gatekeeper
Epictetus is not saying that bad things don't happen to you, or that bullies and narcissists aren't real. He is saying that the final injury happens inside you — in the mind — not in the external event itself.
Think of it in two layers:
What someone does to you → the words, the insult, the dismissal, the cruelty — that is real.
What you make of it → the meaning you assign it, whether you accept it as true, how much power you hand it — that is where the actual wound is created.
This concept from Epictetus’s Enchiridion (Chapter 20) emphasizes that external events only cause suffering when we consent to them through our judgments.
What "Cooperation" Really Means
The word cooperation here is key. Epictetus means that harm requires your mental agreement to be fully realized. This isn't victim-blaming — he's pointing to something deeply empowering: that your inner world, your judgments and beliefs about yourself, are the one thing no one can touch without your permission.
A narcissist's greatest weapon is making you believe their version of you. The moment you internalize their narrative — that you are lesser, crazy, too sensitive, unworthy — they win. Epictetus is telling you: don't hand them that key.
The Deeper Philosophical Point
Epictetus himself was a slave. He knew real, physical suffering and powerlessness. So this wasn't an abstract philosophical game for him — it was survival wisdom. His argument was that even in total external captivity, no one could enslave his mind without his consent.
Applied to toxic relationships, narcissists, and bullies, the message is this: they can control your circumstances, but they cannot control your self-worth unless you let them. The moment you stop believing their judgments about you, their power over you collapses.
About the Philosopher
Epictetus was a Greek Stoic philosopher (c. 50–c. 135 AD) born into slavery in Hierapolis, Phrygia (modern-day Turkey), who rose to become one of the most influential thinkers of the Roman era. After being enslaved by Epaphroditus, a secretary to Emperor Nero, he studied under the Stoic Musonius Rufus and was eventually freed. He taught philosophy in Rome until Emperor Domitian banished all philosophers in 89 AD, after which Epictetus founded a school in Nicopolis, Greece, where he spent the rest of his life
https://www.britannica.com/biography/Epictetus-Greek-philosopher
RULES
- Please be on time! We will start at 19:00 so if you arrive late, please join quietly. If you are a first timer, make sure you take extra time for finding the location.
- If something unexpected happens, please cancel as soon as possible. There's lovely people on the waiting list
- If you repeatedly sign up and don’t show up, you can expect to be moved to the waitlist next time.
- You may disagree with others, but please do so respectfully without personal attacks.
- Please keep your attendance to one event per week to ensure everyone has an opportunity to attend.
- Just to meet expectations, this is a Philosophy event to discuss Philosophy and this event's PRIMARY function is NOT focused on Self Help/Psychology or Theology. Though those topics can be a point of discussion from time to time. Please take that into consideration when signing up!
See you soon!