Socrates Café - Chiang Mai

PRICE OF EVENT: 200 THB
Have you ever felt that despite having a "good" life—a steady job, relationships, and stability—something is still missing? You aren't alone. Modern psychology and neuroscience suggest that we have been ignoring a fundamental part of our intelligence.
For a long time, we thought IQ (Rational Intelligence) was everything. Then, in the 1990s, we discovered EQ (Emotional Intelligence), realizing that feelings are essential for success.

Now, scientific evidence points to a third Q: SQ, or Spiritual Intelligence. This is our "ultimate intelligence"—the intelligence we use to address and solve problems of meaning and value.
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## What is SQ? (It’s Not Just Religion)

It is important to clarify that SQ is not necessarily connected to religion. You can be religious but spiritually stunted, or non-religious and have high SQ.

• IQ allows you to play by the rules (strategic planning, logic).
• EQ allows you to play "within" the situation (reading the room, appropriate behavior).
• SQ allows you to ask if you want to be in the situation at all, or if you should change the rules.

SQ is the intelligence of the "Why." It allows us to dream, aspire, and place our lives in a wider, richer context.
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## The Science: Is it Real?

Skeptics might wonder if this is just a feeling. However, neurological research supports the existence of SQ:

1. The "God Spot": Scientists have identified a specific area in the brain's temporal lobes that lights up when people discuss spiritual topics or have profound experiences of meaning.
2. The Binding Problem: Our brains take in millions of separate bits of information. To make sense of them, a specific frequency of brainwaves (40Hz oscillations) ripples across the brain, binding everything into a unified whole. This neural process is the basis of SQ—it literally "makes us whole".
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## 12 Signs of High Spiritual Intelligence

How do you know if you are using your SQ? Spiritual intelligence isn't about floating on a cloud; it is often most fully developed in those who have known difficulty and suffering.

Here are the key indications of a spiritually intelligent person:

1. Self-Awareness: Knowing what you believe and what motivates you deeply.
2. Spontaneity & Flexibility: The ability to be responsive to the moment rather than stuck in habits.
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3. Vision and Values: Being inspired by a sense of purpose larger than yourself.
4. Holism: Seeing the connections between diverse things; understanding how everything fits together.
5. Compassion: A deep reluctance to cause unnecessary harm to others.
6. Celebration of Diversity: Valuing different paths and people.
7. Field Independence: The courage to stand against the crowd ("convention") and hold your own opinion.
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8. Asking "Why?": A relentless curiosity to understand the root causes of things.
9. Reframing: The ability to step back and see a problem from a wider perspective.
10. Positive Use of Adversity: The capacity to face suffering and learn from it, rather than being crushed by it.
11. Transcending Pain: Moving beyond personal pain to find a deeper peace.
12. Sense of Vocation: Feeling called to serve something (often called "Servant Leadership").
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## The "Lotus of the Self": Finding Your Path

We are not all the same, and our path to meaning will look different based on our personality. Zohar describes the self like a lotus flower, with different "petals" representing personality types. To be spiritually healthy, we must grow in our own way while balancing the others.
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Which "petal" sounds most like you?

• The Conventional Type (The Path of Duty): You value tradition, order, and loyalty. Your spiritual path involves commitment to community and making duty a celebration rather than a chore.
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• The Social Type (The Path of Nurturing): You are friendly, kind, and empathetic. Your path is about selfless love—helping others grow without suffocating them.
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• The Investigative Type (The Path of Knowledge): You are analytical, intellectual, and independent. Your path is to move from cold facts to true wisdom and understanding.
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• The Artistic Type (The Path of Transformation): You are imaginative, emotional, and perhaps eccentric. Your path is to explore the "heights and depths" of yourself and bring order out of chaos through creativity.
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• The Realistic Type (The Path of Brotherhood): You are practical, down-to-earth, and hands-on. Your path involves justice, sacrifice, and "building" a better world concretely.
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• The Enterprising Type (The Path of Leadership): You are ambitious and adventurous. Your path is "Servant Leadership"—using your power to serve others rather than yourself.
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Note: Most of us are a blend of two or more types.

## Practical Steps: How to Grow Your SQ

We live in a "spiritually dumb culture" obsessed with materialism and immediate satisfaction. To heal this, we need to actively cultivate our SQ.

Here is a 7-step process to get started:

1. Awareness: Be honest about where you are right now. Are you happy? Are you hurting?
2. Engagement: Feel strongly what you want to change. Don't just think it—feel the need for it.
3. Reflection: Stop and ask: What is my "center"? What are my deepest motivations?
4. Debugging: Discover and dissolve the obstacles blocking you (fear, ego, old habits).
5. Exploration: Explore many possibilities to go forward. Don't just pick the first option.
6. Commitment: Commit yourself to a path. Choose a direction.
7. Openness: Remain aware that there are many paths. Don't become rigid.

A Simple Daily Practice: SQ thrives on "recollection"—stepping out of your habits.

• Take time for silence (we are often uncomfortable with this).
• Go for a walk in the woods.
• Listen to music deeply and examine what feelings it brings up.
• Review your day at the end of the night: Did I act from my ego, or my center?.

Meet Your Facilitator: Dr. Stefan Rucman
Dr. Stefan Rucman brings a unique dual-expertise to the training room. A scientist by training and a mentor by passion, he is an expert in sustainability systems and the psychology of high performance.
Dr. Rucman believes that technical data alone cannot drive change; it requires leaders who possess deep motivation and unshakable confidence. His sessions are designed to act as a catalyst for this growth. As a moderator, he creates an experiential learning environment where participants feel safe to challenge their own limits, debug their internal barriers, and emerge as more integrated, purpose-driven leaders.

PRICE OF EVENT: 200 THB
"Love isn't about finding the perfect person. It's about investing in a person long enough for them to become 'Home'."
We treat dating like digital nomadism: we are constantly browsing, looking for the perfect destination that ticks every box immediately. We want the view, the comfort, and the excitement—all included in the price of admission. If the Wi-Fi drops or the vibe is off, we pack up and move to the next city (or swipe to the next match).
But this freedom has a cost. "More freedom" didn't make us happier; it made us unable to choose. We stay stuck in a state of suspension, terrified of picking the "wrong" partner, so we choose no one.
This week, we are applying the Psychology of Investment to modern romance.

### The Core Discussion

1. The Myth of the "Perfect" Partner Just like housing, we often wait for a relationship that "chooses" us or feels perfect instantly. But the reality is: The relationship doesn't choose you. You choose it, and then you invest in it. Previous generations "bought the house" in their 20s and stayed for 40 years. They didn't have infinite options, so they made it work. Today, we have the "Uber-ification" of love—expecting a 5-star experience every day. How do we shift from consuming a partner to investing in one?
2. Context Over "The Spark" We often look for the "best" person (Best looks, best job, best banter). But what we actually need is the right Context and Conditions for our specific nervous system to feel safe enough to build. Success isn't finding the highest-rated human; it's finding the conditions that align with your values.

• Do you need a partner who values deep community?
• Do you need a specific communication style for regulation?
• Do their cultural values match the "climate" you want to live in?

3. The Commitment Strategy In a world of infinite options (Tinder, Bumble, Hinge), how do you know when to stop searching? We will discuss how to identify the "right soil" rather than the "perfect flower." If the conditions align (Values, Vision, Safety), the work is no longer about searching—it is about building.

### The Questions

• The Investor Mindset: How do you stop asking "Does this person thrill me?" and start asking "Can I build a life with this person?"
• Values as a Compass: How do you determine your non-negotiables so you can stop guessing and start committing?
• Overcoming the Paradox of Choice: How do we silence the voice that says "There might be someone better just one swipe away"?

Join us to discuss how to stop renting people's time and start building a home with someone.

"If you died tomorrow, what would you regret not doing? And why are you waiting?"

EVENT PRICE: 200 THB

### Memento Mori, The "Liking Gap," and Why You Matter More Than You Think

Date: Saturday, February 21, 2026 Time: 12:00 PM (Noon) Location: Socrates Cafe Chiang Mai

Finding purpose often feels like trying to solve a complex riddle. We look for a "Grand Mission," but we miss the obvious signposts.
This week, we are combining two powerful psychological frameworks to triangulate our purpose: The Perspective of Death (Memento Mori) and The Science of Connection.
We will explore how "Regret" is actually a tool—a compass that points to what we value most. Simultaneously, we will dismantle the social anxiety that keeps us from acting on those values, using research that proves people are more interested in us than we think.

### Key Concepts We Will Explore

1. The "Regret" Anchor (Memento Mori) Inaction haunts us more than failure. Dying patients rarely regret the mountain they failed to climb; they regret the mountain they never attempted. We will use the question of mortality not to depress us, but to "awaken" us to what still matters while we are capable of change.
2. The Optimism of Connection Research shows we are overly pessimistic about social interactions. We fear judgment, but others are usually just focused on themselves. When we do interact, people like us more than we assume. Purpose is often found in the frequency of these small, positive interactions rather than one intense achievement.
3. The "Leaky Tire" Theory of Happiness Purpose isn't a permanent state; it's a tire that leaks. We need to "pump it up" daily through small acts of reciprocity—a nod, a smile, a moment of listening.
4. The Physics of Closeness
How close are the people in your life? Psychologists map connection as "overlapping circles." True purpose often involves moving your circle closer to others until "Me" becomes "We."

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### Workshop Outline: "From Regret to Connection"

Duration: 2 Hours Format: Interactive Discussion & Micro-Exercises

#### Phase 1: The Compass (Internal)

Based on the work of Jordan Grumet

• 12:15 PM - The "Memento Mori" Audit
• Concept: "Regret is deeply personal. No one else’s definition applies to you."
• Exercise: The 24-Hour Notice.
• Participants are asked: "If you found out today that you die tomorrow, what is the specific thing you regret never having the energy or courage to do?"
• Discussion: Differentiating between "Outcome Regret" (I didn't succeed) vs. "Inaction Regret" (I didn't try).
• 12:45 PM - Identifying the "Purpose Anchor"
• Concept: Using the regret identified above as a blueprint for the next 6 months.

#### Phase 2: The Vehicle (External)

Based on the work of Marianna Pogosyan

• 1:00 PM - The "Liking Gap" Challenge
• Concept: We miss out on purpose because we fear rejection.
• Discussion: The evidence that people are less judgmental than we fear.
• Exercise: The Reciprocity Test. Pair up with a stranger for 3 minutes. The goal is not to be "interesting," but to be "responsive" (nodding, smiling, listening). Debrief: How did it feel to be listened to?
• 1:30 PM - Mapping Your Circles
• Concept: Visualizing connection as physical distance.
• Activity: The "We" Map.
• Draw yourself as a circle. Draw the key people/communities in your life as other circles.
• Are they far apart? Touching? Overlapping?
• Actionable Step: Identify one person you want to move from "Touching" to "Overlapping" and one specific "micro-action" (leaky tire pump) you can do this week to close the gap.

#### Phase 3: Integration

• 2:30 PM - The Commitment
• "Fear kept them from pursuing what mattered. And now, it’s too late."
• Group pledge to take one action on their "Purpose Anchor" before the next meetup.

PRICE OF EVENT: 200 THB
About This Event
Drawing on the radical philosophy of Nassim Nicholas Taleb (Antifragile, The Black Swan), moderator and facilitator Dr. Stefan Rucman will dismantle the toxic myth of stability. Using the Antifragile Framework, this workshop moves beyond the futile grasp for control and the illusion of peace to instead weaponize disorder—swapping the weak goal of mere survival for the dominating power of Antifragility.
WARNING: This is not a "healing circle." There will be no toxic positivity, no "manifesting abundance," and absolutely no safe spaces.
Most personal development workshops sell you a lie: that the goal of life is Peace. They teach you to build walls ("boundaries") to keep the scary world out. They want you to be a delicate porcelain teacup—protected, fragile, and useless.
We believe the opposite. We believe Chaos is the Ultimate Leader.
In this 2-hour immersive workshop, we will deconstruct the modern obsession with safety and replace it with Antifragility. Based on the philosophy of Nassim Taleb (The Black Swan, Antifragile) and the physics of Entropy, we will teach you how to stop surviving stress and start eating it.

### What We Will Cover (The Curriculum)

1. The Triad of Existence
We will audit your life to see where you fall on the spectrum. Are you:

• Fragile: Like a vase. You break when life hits you (e.g., "My day is ruined because of traffic").
• Robust: Like a rock. You survive the hit, but you don't change. You just numb the pain.
• Antifragile: Like a muscle. You need the hit to grow. You are the Hydra—cut off one head, and two grow back.

2. The Science of "Hormesis"
Why "comfort" is killing you. Biology proves that systems without stress atrophy and die. We will show you how to inject "controlled chaos" into your career and relationships to trigger growth, rather than anxiety.
3. Strategy: The Barbell Method
Stop looking for "balance." Balance is mediocre. We will teach you the Barbell Strategy: How to be hyper-safe in some areas (Routine/Finance) so you can be hyper-dangerous in others (Creativity/Risk).
4. The "Via Negativa" (Improvement by Subtraction)
You don't need a new app, a new diet, or a new guru. We will perform a "Control Audit" to identify what you need to remove from your life. We don't add happiness; we subtract the things that make you fragile.

### The Experience

This is not a lecture. It is a psychological dojo.

• The Unfair Game: A psychological experiment in frustration tolerance.
• The Chaos Ritual: A visceral, physical exercise where we will write down our deepest needs for control—and then destroy them.
• The Audit: A brutal look at your "Circle of Control" vs. the "Divinity of Chaos."

### Who This Is For

• People tired of "soft" self-help that doesn't work in the real world.
• Entrepreneurs and Creatives who deal with uncertainty every day.
• Anyone who feels "stuck" trying to control an uncontrollable world.
• The "neurotic control freak" who is ready to retire from the job of being God.

### What You Will Leave With

You won't leave "peaceful." You will leave dangerous.
You will leave with a mindset that looks at a crisis and thinks: "Good. More fuel."

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### Agenda

• 12:00: Doors Open & "The Disruption" (Don't be late).
• 12:20: The Manifesto: Why Entropy is Winning.
• 12:40: Deep Dive: Antifragility & The Barbell Strategy.
• 13:15: The Chaos Ritual (Immersive Exercise).
• 13:45: Drinks, Debrief, and "Skin in the Game" Networking.

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### What to Bring

• A notebook (hardcover preferred).
• Clothing you can move in.
• Your fragility (so we can break it).

Price: 200 THB
Location: Hideaway
"Wind extinguishes a candle and energizes fire. You want to be the fire and wish for the wind."