Midsommar (2019): Grief, Gaslighting, and the May Queen

We will be meeting at Pablo Creek Library - Conference Room

Join us for a sun-drenched dive into grief, codependency, cults, and the seduction of belonging as we discuss Midsommar (2019), following Dani and her friends into a Swedish commune whose radiant rituals hide devastating sacrifices.

Please note: We will not be watching the movie during the event, nor is viewing it beforehand required.

Brief Summary
Midsommar (2019) follows a grieving young woman, Dani, who travels with her distant boyfriend and friends to a secluded Swedish commune for a once-every-90-years midsummer festival that slowly reveals itself as a tapestry of ecstatic beauty and ritualized brutality. As daylight refuses to end, relationships unravel and the community’s serene traditions expose disturbing ideas about sacrifice, belonging, and what it means to feel “held” by a group.

***

Philosophical Discussion Questions:

## A. Grief, loss, and vulnerability

1. How can intense grief change the kinds of people and communities someone finds attractive or trustworthy?
2. In what ways might loneliness after a loss make a person ignore red flags in a new group or relationship?
3. Is it fair to hold someone fully responsible for bad decisions made while they are in deep emotional pain, or should moral judgment soften in those situations?
4. Can joining a very tight-knit community be a healthy way to cope with grief, or does it always risk creating dependence on the group?
5. What are some signs that shared grieving is genuinely healing, and what are signs that it is drifting into emotional manipulation?

## B. Relationships, dependence, and boundaries

6. How do power imbalances in a romantic relationship (emotional, financial, or social) affect the way each partner makes moral choices?
7. When someone stays in a relationship out of guilt or fear of hurting the other person, is that kindness or dishonesty?
8. What does a healthy balance between “supporting your partner” and “losing yourself” look like in practice?
9. How might a failing relationship push someone to seek validation or belonging in more extreme or risky places?
10. Is it possible for a relationship to be emotionally harmful for both people, yet still feel hard to leave—and why?

## C. Community, tradition, and moral limits

11. When should respect for a culture’s traditions give way to a firm refusal to participate in certain practices?
12. If an entire community sincerely believes a controversial ritual is sacred, does that make the ritual less morally troubling, or not at all?
13. How can travelers or newcomers ethically navigate unfamiliar customs without either judging too quickly or blindly going along?
14. At what point does a “close community with strong traditions” become a cult in your view—what are the key warning signs?
15. Is it ever acceptable for a group to prioritize the stability or happiness of the whole over the safety or autonomy of specific individuals?

## D. Belonging, identity, and transformation

16. How far should someone be willing to change their identity, beliefs, or habits in order to feel like they truly belong to a group?
17. Can a radical break from one’s old life—friends, family, or culture—be a path to authentic self-discovery, or is it more often a form of escape?
18. What makes a group’s offer of belonging feel especially seductive to people who feel unseen or misunderstood in their everyday lives?
19. Is there a moral difference between finding yourself in a way that harms only you, and finding yourself in a way that also harms others?
20. When a person undergoes a dramatic personal transformation, how can we tell whether it is liberation, brainwashing, or something in between?