Forgiveness and the Good Life

Forgiveness is something most of us have encountered, whether we've been asked to forgive someone, hoped to be forgiven ourselves, or struggled with something we're simply not sure we can forgive. But where does Stoicism fit into this? Forgiveness isn't one of the traditional Stoic virtues, and the ancient Stoics don't really talk about it in quite the way we tend to today. They do, however, have plenty to say about anger, resentment, blame and how we respond when someone has wronged us.

Among the other misfortunes of humanity is this, that men's intellects are confused, and they not only cannot help going wrong, but love to go wrong. To avoid being angry with individuals, you must pardon the whole mass, you must grant forgiveness to the entire human race (Seneca, On Anger).

Marcus Aurelius often reminded himself that people behave badly because they are mistaken about what is good, and that we should remember our own capacity to get things wrong. He writes:

Whenever you are offended at someone's fault, turn to yourself and study your own failings.

But does understanding someone's behaviour mean forgiving it? Can we let go of resentment while still believing that someone should face consequences? Can we forgive somebody who isn't sorry? And are there some things we shouldn't forgive at all? Perhaps there's also a difference between forgiveness, reconciliation and simply accepting that something happened and choosing not to let it dominate the rest of our lives.

These are just possible starting points. As usual, there's no set agenda and no particular conclusion we're trying to reach. The conversation can go wherever the group takes it, and disagreement is very much part of the point.

Whether you've been studying Stoicism for years, have only recently come across it, or know absolutely nothing about it, you're very welcome to join us. No prior knowledge or reading is required, just an interest in the question and a willingness to listen and share your thoughts.

If the meeting shows as full, please don't let that put you off coming along. Meetup limits us to 10 RSVPs, but the group itself is open to many more people and there is usually plenty of room.