Murdoch and the philosophy of attention

When we think of the demands of morality, we often think about external factors—like the duties or responsibilities people have to other people, or to non-human animals, nature and future generations. But what is the role of introspection and being a good listener in aspiring to live a moral life? I recently came across this newly posted interview (linked below) with the NY Times columnist David Brooks: “Why Only 30% of People Will Ever Ask you a Question” which mentioned Iris Murdoch’s insights on the philosophy of attention (a just and loving way of seeing). This made me want to read her work (hence this meeting!).

I found an online copy of her central essay on the topic, “The Idea of Perfection” (also noted below). And a short video summary of her insights. So if you’d like to discuss this topic please watch and read the materials below, and come along to share insights (and of course listen lovingly!) to others.
Iris Murdoch’s “The Idea of Perfection” : https://yalereview.org/article/iris-murdoch-perfection

David Brooks video: “Why Only 30% of People Will Ever Ask you a Question”- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6WyXMUGSBTU&t=200s

Iris Murdoch and the philosophy of attention video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HQO50TOHuAw&t=22s

Please be sure to bring a lawn chair, as we will be sitting in a circle under a tree just past the sheltered area by the bathrooms. Hope to see some of you there!

Cheers,
Colin

UPDATE: some last minute thoughts/examples worth pondering...

The theme of this topic linked well with some others we covered recently- the “givers”, “takers” and matchers” topic in December, and Schopenhauer’s The Metaphysics of Love last September.

Consider, as an example, two applications of Murdoch’s “just and loving” orientation towards others. The first example is from the work place, the second dating after divorce:

Example #1: You arrive for the first day of work at a new business in a career you enjoy. You meet two fellow co-workers: “Short-term Sam” and “Dutiful Debby”. You ask both for their impression of what it is like working there.

Sam: “It pays the bills, but the company owner Greg is a real despot. If he asks you to work weekends say no. All he cares about is meeting sales targets. And good luck getting your summer vacation requests met! I always keep an eye out for job opportunities with other local businesses. If the opportunity arises to jump ship I’ll certainly take it!”

Debbie: “The boss Greg took over the family business 20 years ago, and has worked hard to keep it afloat and competitive in a challenging market. People get along well, and support each other. The company summer golf tournament and holiday season party are nice ways for workers to bond together.”

Both Sam and Debbie work in the same job at the same company. But they look differently at the workplace environment. Which do you think finds more fulfillment at work? Which do you think is likely to be a better worker? Which do you think is more likely to be laid off should the business fall on hard times?

Now consider example #2 from dating: both Cathy and Paul are single, having gone through a divorce a few years ago. They hope to find love again, but haven’t so far. When asked about their dating lives since divorcing this is how they “see” that part of life:

Cathy: “Online dating sucks. It is such a waste of time. Most men are not mature enough to know what they want, or if they do, it (surprise surprise!) is only short-term “fun”. I don’t waste my time in dating. If a guy is not looking for something serious I simply unmatch and move on. I have a “check list” of questions I use to vet all potential suitors. If they don’t pass that initial checklist then “next!”. And if I don’t meet someone in the next month or two I will just give up on dating all together.”

Paul: “I have met some great single women since my divorce. One person I met on a dating app, another from a sport we play together etc. Sometimes I find someone I share interests with, but unfortunately the chemistry is not there for one or both of us. Other times I have amazing chemistry with a date but there is no genuine friendship or shared interests. It might take some time, but I will keep dating and meeting new people. I’m sure one day my path will cross with someone who is a good match when things are meant to be. In the meantime, I am meeting new people and having fun!”

Which person do you think is mostly like to attract, and find, love in dating?