Autumn Reading Group ("Me, Myself and US" meeting #2)

Join us for the second installment of Brian Little's book Me, Myself and US.

For this meetup we will be covering chapters 5, 6 & 7

Below is a summary of the book from the publisher's website:

Are you hardwired for happiness, or born to brood? Do you think you’re in charge of your future, or do you surf the waves of unknowable fate? Would you be happier, or just less socially adept, if you were less concerned about what other people thought of you? And what about your “Type A” spouse: is he or she destined to have a heart attack, or just drive you to drink?
In the past few decades, new scientific research has transformed old ideas about the nature of human personality. Neuroscientists, biologists and psychological scientists have reexamined the theories of Freud and Jung as well as the humanistic psychologies of the 1960s, upending the simplistic categorizations of personality types, and developing new tools and methods for exploring who we are. Renowned professor and pioneering research psychologist Brian R. Little has been at the leading edge of this new science. In this wise and witty book he shares a wealth of new data and provocative insights about who we are, why we act the way we do, what we can—and can’t—change, and how we can best thrive in light of our “nature.”

Me, Myself, and Us explores questions that are rooted in the origins of human consciousness but are as commonplace as yesterday’s breakfast conversation, such as whether our personality traits are set by age thirty or whether our brains and selves are more plastic. He considers what our personalities portend for our health and success, and the extent to which our well-being depends on the personal projects we pursue. Through stories, studies, personal experiences and entertaining interactive assessments, Me, Myself, and Us provides a lively, thought-provoking, and ultimately optimistic look at the possibilities and perils of being uniquely ourselves, while illuminating the selves of the familiar strangers we encounter, work with, and love.

Please be sure to bring a lawn chair, as we will be sitting in a circle under a tree just past the sheltered area by the bathrooms. Hope to see some of you there.

Cheers,
Colin

** Update summary and some questions***

Me, Myself and US (book summary, first 4 chapters)
Preface
How should we understand personality psychology? I decided to read this book because I believe that trying to answer that question might prove useful in both understanding myself better, and understanding other people better.
How, for example, is a person’s life shaped by the goals, aspirations and personal projects they take on? Little describes these as “self-defining” projects that provide us with meaning.

Question #1: what self-defining projects have you taken on so far in your life?

This book is concerned with how our personalities influence aspects of the good life.
In the preface (p. xiii) Little notes that trait psychology recognizes 4 key areas of study: (1) biological influences- our first nature; (2) environmental influences- our second nature; (3) personal commitments and core projects we pursue in our daily lives (third nature, which enable us to rise above the first two natures); and (4) positive attributes like creativity and resilience

Chapter 1
Personal constructs: (p. 2) you observe, in a restaurant, two men and one of them sends a steak back 3 times. Which of the following personal constructs are you likely to form?
(1) This man has a specific trait (like assertiveness, or extraversion or he’s obnoxious)
(2) You think this man might be engaged in a personal project- trying to impress his boss or show he won’t settle for less than he asked
(3) You create a narrative that explains your observation- perhaps the guy had some disappointment at work, and now he is taking it out on the server, etc.

*** The reality is, with very little information, our minds can form large inferences. Little argues that the way we construe others has consequences for our wellbeing. ***

“The more numerous the lenses and frames through which we make sense of the world, the more adaptive it is” (4). Otherwise, our constructs can function like a cage, undermining our wellbeing. “The more limited one’s repertoire of personal constructs, the greater the anxiety and the fewer the degrees of freedom one has in anticipating and acting upon events in life” (7).
p. 20 flexibility (I was struck by how the central insights and prescriptions of this book seem to align with those in A Liberated Mind which we read back in early 2020)
p. 20 “Is your own way of thinking about yourself centered upon too limited an array of personal constructs? Are there certain constructs that you cling to zealously? Are you threatened when they are challenged? Are you hostile in attempting to validate them? … As you reflect on your personality and the life you wish to lead, you may also need to explore new ways of seeing and making sense of individuals with whom you share your life- your family, friends, and work colleagues. It may be helpful to abandon old constructs, especially for those whom you find confusing or perplexing.”
Chapter 2
5 big personality traits: OCEAN (pros and cons with each in terms of how they can impact wellbeing)

Openness: receptive to new ideas, interactions and environments versus those who prefer routine and don’t like trying new things.

Conscientiousness : organized, orderly, careful and non-impulsive versus spontaneous, disorganized and impulsive.

Extraversion: have low levels of arousal (vs introverts, who have high levels of arousal). This means extraverts seek out arousing settings (they offer reward cues that don’t motivate introverts).

Agreeable: pleasant, friendly, empathetic and supportive vs cynical, confrontational and mean-spirited.

Neurotic: sensitivity to negative cues in the environment. Those high in this trait detect, recall and ruminate on perceived threats, dangers and slights versus a more stable person would not even notice them.

If you haven’t taken the OCEAN personality test before, here is a good one: https://bigfivepersonality.me/test

Short video primer on OCEAN- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KCwHV9HCxH0

Question #2: how do you feel your traits have helped, or hindered, your wellbeing in life?
Chapter 3
Question #3: Do you act out of character often? What do you think explains this? What are the benefits and drawbacks of doing so?
Chapter 4
High self-monitors are concerned about how others see them, and they behave so as to reflect the norms and expectations of the situations they enter (71). Low self-monitors are less concerned with how others view them, and instead their behavior is guided by their traits and values. There are pros and cons with both of these. And context matters.
Question #4: Thoughts on the issue of self-monitoring, and how it impacts wellbeing?