And now for Something Different: A less taxing hike and Museums in Paradise

How about less taxing "hike" from the (temporarily) free Santa Barbara Museum of Art to the (temporarily cheap) Santa Barbara Natural History Museum with lunch in between or shared snacks?

I propose that we meet at the Santa Barbara Art Museum (parking on the street, a block or two off State Street is not too taxing), take in some high art arranged in low places for us hikers and then meander up toward the Natural History Museum. This is a 3.7-3.99ish mile hike with maybe 650 feet of gain and loss as we walk city streets up hill to the Mission and Natural History Museum and then back down to the Art Museum via a slightly different route. Santa Barbara is infested with lovely architecture, pleasant sidewalks, blooming flowers, sunshine, good wine, happy retirees, students, activity along State Street, and for a limited time FREE museum opportunities. Yes, the Santa Barbara Museum of Art currently has free admission but this ends at the end of the day on April 16. Let's take advantage.

Our walk (click me) (https://www.google.com/maps/dir/Santa+Barbara+Museum+Of+Art,+1130+State+St,+Santa+Barbara,+CA+93101/34.4413304,-119.7143357/Santa+Barbara+Museum+Of+Art,+State+Street,+Santa+Barbara,+CA/@34.4323155,-119.7179141,15z/data=!4m40!4m39!1m25!1m1!1s0x80e9147dbe0a3dfb:0xb7d40cd1f66e8a!2m2!1d-119.7039363!2d34.4234256!3m4!1m2!1d-119.7045768!2d34.4253672!3s0x80e9148782aa787f:0x84c2cc9fd317d34a!3m4!1m2!1d-119.706122!2d34.4282383!3s0x80e9148615797879:0x85849cbf9195020b!3m4!1m2!1d-119.7049502!2d34.4293119!3s0x80e91486887156d3:0xd2f534d4db72746f!3m4!1m2!1d-119.7107869!2d34.4336209!3s0x80e914902d12cbc1:0xc0f4b7a46b151182!1m5!3m4!1m2!1d-119.7142772!2d34.4312474!3s0x80e9148de48b5245:0x99b2417538f593a1!1m5!1m1!1s0x80e9147dbe0a3dfb:0xb7d40cd1f66e8a!2m2!1d-119.7039363!2d34.4234256!3e2)will take us through some parks, past the old mission, and through downtown Santa Barbara. We can choose to stop and grab a bite along the way or bring snacks to share in some nice green space near the mission. There is a nice park across from the mission just near the Natural History Museum and there are other green spaces where we could blend in with the local winos who might not know about PM Hikers!

I purchased 8 half price tickets to the Natural History Museum from groupon (https://www.groupon.com/deals/santa-barbara-museum-of-natural-history) and would be willing to share with the first 7 members who request one for a mere $6 (plus a small transaction fee to be paid in cookies, beverages, or other goodies). If you want to guarantee that price you can also buy it yourself from Groupon! Or you can skip the museum and just hang out at the mission for an hour or two while the rest of the group takes in fossils and butterflies, and learns more about our natural environment in this corner of paradise. We should regroup by a certain time in front of the Mission and head back toward the Art Museum and cars. I really need to be back at my car by 5pm.

So what do you think? Ready to take a break from the tax deadline and enjoy a stroll full of art and history in paradise?

Dogs: No dogs on this one.

Dangers: Landslides, coyotes, mountain lions, BMWs, Porches, SBPD, Psyche, bad art, pork rinds, chocolate, happy hikers, city buses, uber drivers, death, tumbleweeds, meteors, invading TERRORISTS, bikers, the CHP, volcanoes, sudden cliff faces, falling coconuts*, selfies, sharks, fire ants, anteaters, fire anteaters, voodoo, telekinesis, poison oak, not paying attention, innocuous oak, cars, headlights, lawyers, pterodactyls, royal families, bubonic plague, North Korea, missionaries, the IRS, the IRA, etc.

Here's some great stuff I totally ripped off from Missionary Michael (who posted an AWESOME photo of a mountain lion). Thanks Mike!

[ ---- Pace and Ability ---- ]

This is a moderately paced stroll suitable for a beginner hiker or intermediate art critic. If you are unsure of your level, please contact me beforehand. You should be able to walk up hill at 2.5 mph to keep up with the group.

[ ---- Responsibility ---- ]

I am an organizer, not a leader. More than that I am an infidel and thus could be deported at any time. I am not liable for you and any way, shape, or form. Think of us as just a bunch of friends going hiking, and eating.

I reserve the right to exclude you from the hike, but would typically only do so if I was concerned about safety.

You must be self sufficient! If you find yourself alone in the middle of the wilderness, you must possess the skill set and common sense necessary to get yourself out of the bind.

Although I am a pretty slow hiker, I will not be acting as a sweep. There will be no sweep on this hike.

[ ---- Headlamps ----]

You must bring a headlamp for night hikes. No, a cell phone flashlight app is not a viable option. No, I don't care what color your headlamp is. I do however ask you respect your fellow hikers by:

1. Using the lowest power setting on your headlamp to get the job done and

2. Not shining your headlamp in anybody else's eyes and

3. Turning it off when not needed.

[ ---- Directions to the Trailhead ---- ]

Go to Santa Barbara and meet at the Santa Barbara Museum of Art. 1130 State St, Santa Barbara, CA 93101. The museum is open from 11 to 5. Let's meet near the entrance at 12 noon.

[ ---- Parking ---- ]

Free parking is available on nearby streets.

[ ---- Permits & Fees ---- ]

No permits or fees of any kind are required.

[ ---- What to Bring ---- ]

.5 liters of water, a charged cell phone, snack to share, and a smile for everyone.

[ ---- Weather Forecast ----]

Dude! It's Santa Barbara!

[ ---- Event Cancellation Disclaimer - Please Read Carefully ----]

Rain cancels. Major TERROR! attack on Santa Barbara cancels. Bubonic plague cancels. If a suitable alternate organizer is not available, I will cancel at least 120 minutes before the scheduled start of the event. Even if it's canceled you can go to a free museum in paradise. What have you got to lose?

[ ---- What if you have to cancel? ---- ]

I do understand from time to time emergencies come up and plans change, and if it does, please remove yourself as soon as you realize you can't make the event. Just because this is a web based venue doesn't mean it's OK to throw out common courtesy and flake.

*Note: falling coconuts kill more people than sharks in a given year. Selfies kill more than both.