🌞 ANNUAL NEW YEAR'S DAY HIKE 'N BRUNCH YAY!

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New year, new hikes, new hike leader! 😃

Yep, that's right Soldiers, it's gonna be a whole new me because for my New Year's resolutions I've decided to quit smoking 3 packs of cigs 🚬 a day, cut back to 20 pints of beer a week🍺 and stop eating 5 bars of chocolate 🍫 every morning for breakfast... which would normally decrease my energy levels for any hikes, but the 8 cups of coffee should be a good replacement ☕️

I'm still gonna hold on to some bad habits because I'd probably die of a heart attack if I gave everything up all at once 😁 What bad habits are those, you ask? Don't worry, they'll become apparent as soon as I open my mouth.

Let's go 🍌🍌🍌 and bust out a bitchen hike on a trail that's got a little bit of everything - grand oak tree canopies🌳, wildflowers 🌸 (making an early appearance from the rain and sunshine), expansive views, and stunning green carpeted hillsides as a backdrop. Oh, and bubbling tar pits (where I threw out all those cigarette butts). Plus, birds 🐦‍⬛ bees 🐝 and critters 🐿 I mean, c'mon people, what could be a better way to 🔔 in the New Year?!

This hike is perfect for fit beginners on up. If you plan on overindulging the night before 🍾 well, try to keep up, and remember: no barfing on the trails.

We'll do about 4.5 miles with an elevation gain of approximately 700 ft. cumulative, but don't hold me to that. Don't hold me to the start and end times either. In fact, don't hold me to anything, you'll get disappointed.

Afterwards, let's head over to El Patio for some yummy Mexican food 🌶🌮 4351 Township, Simi Valley

Doggos are allowed on this one ONLY if you pick up and pack out their 💩 and they remain leashed 🦮

So, you in?!
Can't wait!! 💋 💋 💋

DETAILS
🔵 We leave on time. Get there early, get a name tag, get to know your fellow hikers.
🔵 Plenty of parking on Tapo Canyon but you may have to walk a lil' to the trailhead.
🔵 Complainers will be tied to a tree covered in ants 🐜 and left for the vultures.
🔵 Your hike leader is Hot Stuff, try not to stare.

👉🏻 No AI was used in the writing of this amazing event description.

👉🏻 You are responsible for yourselves, your own safety, maintaining proximity with the group, and getting back to your cars in one piece. KNOW YOUR OWN ABILITIES!

DIRECTIONS: From the 118 fwy in Simi Valley, exit Tapo Canyon and head north. Drive approx. 2.5 miles 'til you see the trailhead on your right.