Must I Always Forgive? Honoring Your Feelings and Boundaries

We’re often told that forgiving everyone for everything is always the right thing to do—that it will bring us peace. But what about when someone truly hurts us? Should we be expected to let them off so easily?

And when someone repeatedly engages in the same hurtful behavior—be it betrayal, dishonesty, or something else—are we supposed to keep forgiving them endlessly? Does that really help anyone?

Perhaps forgiveness is overrated, especially if it pressures us to rush to move on without addressing what happened. Instead of immediately declaring, “It’s fine, I forgive you,” it can be much healthier to pause, acknowledge the hurt, and allow ourself to fully experience those emotions. We must remind ourselves that being treated with kindness and respect isn’t just a hope—it’s what we deserve.