What Should We Value and Why, When Choosing Our Friends?
Details
Topic: What Should We Value and Why, When Choosing Our Friends?
Chairman:
Robert Light
Moderator:
Spencer Sinclaire
Meetup Date:
Wednesday, August 5th, 7:00 p.m. to 9:00 p.m., with a 15 minute break at 8:00 p.m.
Meetup Location:
Upstairs at The Bent Mast, 512 Simcoe St. Victoria, BC, V8V 1L8
Members:
If you plan to attend, please take a moment and RSVP. If your plans change and you cannot attend, to the right of your name there are three dots, please click on them and move yourself to “Not Going.” Thank you.
Quotes:
"A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out." ~Walter Winchell
"True friendship resists time, distance and silence."~ Isabel Allen
Synopsis:
In philosophy, friendship is viewed as a foundational aspect of the good life. Aristotle famously categorized it into three types: utility (based on mutual benefit), pleasure (based on enjoyment), and virtue (based on mutual respect and shared moral growth), with the last being the highest, most enduring form.
Philosophers historically treat friendship not just as a casual social bond, but as a practice of mutual flourishing and self-discovery. The core frameworks shaping this perspective include:
• Aristotelian Ethics: Aristotle viewed a true friend as "another self," arguing that by desiring the good of a friend for their own sake, we ultimately exercise virtue and achieve true happiness (eudaimonia).
• The Problem of Utility and Pleasure: Both utility and pleasure friendships are considered "incomplete" because they are self-serving and dissolve the moment the benefit or amusement fades.
• Stoicism and Modern Views: Thinkers like Montaigne emphasized the equality and total transparency of perfect friends, while modern philosophers often contrast the unconditional, chosen nature of friendship with the obligations of family and civic duty.
Other Philosophers who studied friendship:
Plato: In dialogues like the Lysis and the Symposium, he explored the nature of desire and love, questioning what makes people feel connected and whether friends need to be alike or complementary to maintain a bond.
Epicurus: Viewed friendship as one of the highest goods in life. He believed deep, mutually supportive relationships provide the peace of mind necessary to live a blessed and anxiety-free life.
Michel de Montaigne: Famous for his essay "On Friendship," he argued that true friendship is a total, indivisible merging of souls, which he considered even more profound and selfless than romantic or family love.
Friedrich Nietzsche: Offered a more skeptical take, often viewing friendship as an ego-driven extension of the self or a challenge where individuals push one another toward personal greatness.
Jacques Derrida: In The Politics of Friendship, he deconstructs the historical, political, and democratic implications of friendship, exploring how it balances exclusivity with the universal ideals of justice
Watch "Aristotle’s Timeless Advice on What Real Friendship Is and Why It Matters" on YouTube:
https://youtu.be/F18kSA8OxqY?si=Ps_MhfE1VFqaBgoh