June 12, 2025 TOPIC: THE PARENT TRAP _____________(LIVE- IN PERSON)

Meetup is LIVE on our deck (weather-permitting), or in our LR (if cold, or rainy) in West Orange, NJ
(street address sent to NEWBIES 3-7 days ahead of the event)

We gather at 7:30 for 30 min of refreshments (and wine), and chit chat, and then spend 90 min in an informal, facilitated discussion based on the assigned podcasts
Please listen to the 2 podcasts below before the meetup
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Whether you are a parent, or a grandparent watching your kids parent, or you are/were a teacher watching how parents are raising kids now, or you are/were a therapist managing kids or parents, you probably have some opinions on the best ways to parent, or not to parent.
Welcome to THE PARENT TRAP.

• Should parents be friends with their kids?
• How permissive should parents be/ how much structure is good for kids?
• Should parenting be tailored to each child or are there some hard and fast rules that apply to all children?
• Have the changes in parenting from when we were kids, to when we raised kids to how kids are being raised today changes for the better?

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#1. Rethinking
Bring out the good in kids— and parents (39 min)
As a clinical psychologist, Becky Kennedy works with parents to raise good kids. She’s best known as Dr. Becky on Instagram, and has been called the "Millennial parenting whisperer" for good reason. Becky and Adam challenge the widespread belief that it’s a parent’s job to make their children happy, talk candidly about the surprisingly difficult task of setting and maintaining boundaries, and dig into the science and practice of helping kids (and adults) deal with the ups and downs of life
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/worklife-with-adam-grant/id1346314086?i=1000597939833

#2. Monk Debates
Be it Resolved, the Gentle Parenting EthosRaises Happier Children. (46 min)
If you're a new parent, you've probably heard the term 'gentle parenting'. It's the latest trend that has taken hold among millennials who reject the authoritative principles under which they themselves were raised. This new, softer approach discourages consequences and punishments for bad behaviour in favour of positive reinforcement and a focus on the feelings and emotions which are driving bad behaviour. Proponents of gentle parenting argue that this approach is the most effective way to raise kids: emotionally-focused parenting raises calmer, happier children with increased self-esteem, emotional regulation, more empathy, and stronger parent-child relationships. Furthermore, research shows that kids who are frequently punished don't end up being better behaved. Gentle parenting’s critics argue that this approach relies on emotion as a substitute for authority and does not prepare kids for the real world where actions have consequences. Too much emotional self-awareness in childhood has resulted in high rates of anxiety and depression in young adults who cannot put aside emotions in order to carry out basic daily tasks.
Arguing in favour of the resolution is Sarah Ockwell Smith. Sarah is a well known parenting expert and popular childcare author, who is widely recognized as being the founder of the gentle parenting movement.
Arguing against the resolution is Anna Lussenburg, a professional child care and family intervention specialist.
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-munk-debates-podcast/id1486184902?i=1000685177726

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For newbies (and we love new people/ new voices):
the street address will be sent to you ~3-7 days before the event (lots of street parking)
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Only sign up if you plan to show up (or risk being tarred and feathered).

• If you can't make it-- please change your RSVP from YES to NO as early as possible so that others can get in
• $2 on-site for refreshments/cover the annual fees for the meetup site.