You can still apply to be a member, but your name will sit in the queue until 2018, at which point one of our plague-free associates will contact you.
For now, you can read our group tenets. Try to live by them. Teach them to your friends. Turn them into a campfire song to be song for centuries on a zombie-free Earth.
Rule #1: always know where the exits are.
This rule is not only important for daily life (zombies notwithstanding, what about fires? Or ninjas?), but in a larger sense, it's important to realize that there is no one right way to live. Mainstream culture has decided we operate in a pseudo-democratic, consumption-driven global economy. Okay. But what if we don't want to? The beautiful thing about rule #1 is that it is a rule made for the present, not the hypothetical future. It is a rule we can use right now: would you know how to exit out of this system if you wanted to?
“If we hole up, I wanna be somewhere familiar, I wanna know where the exits are, and I wanna be allowed to smoke. .... “
Ed in “Shaun of the Dead” 2004
We started this group in an effort to identify those exits, both real and metaphorical. We won't be talking about the smoking part; that's your own prerogative.
A few guidelines if you choose to join us:
1. We’re here to build relationships. There’s nothing more terrifying that being trapped in an alley facing a horde of zombies alone. Or so we imagine. We created this group because we feel the most important thing to have in the zombie apocalypse is a team of people to rely on for help. Come to us with your willingness to work together; it’s the only way we’ll all survive.
2. We don’t worry: we prepare. Although we are planning for the worst, we expect the best. We maintain a positive attitude, no matter what we feel may be coming down the pipe. We focus on being prepared for many different scenarios, not dwelling on one particular possibility.
3. Our collective interests are broad. Individually, we may all have our theories as to how zombies will get here and what their physiology might be. These theories are essential because they will help us choose which activities to offer. Think zombies will be caused by a nuclear accident? Maybe we’ll offer HazMat training. Maybe zombies are unleashed due to a virus? Maybe we’ll offer a course examining the effects of pandemics. Certain that zombies run fast? Maybe we should jog together twice a week....
4. It’s not just about the zombies. I’ve read the literature, watched the films, and own the T-shirt. The emphasis will be on zombies, but however you think the crash might occur, we feel the skills are transferable. We want to learn tangible skills to fight off the infected, but also how to survive day-to-day and rebuild. Are there steps we can take right now to ensure the rebuild is as efficient as possible? What would we do differently, and how do we get there? Are there ways to improve our resilience as a team? How do we make sure the population doesn’t deteriorate into riots? This is where meet-ups around social justice, green building, permaculture, food security, and economics come in. Do you know of another group hosting an event some of us on the Zombie Team might like? Post it!
5. We look to your strengths. Maybe you don’t feel like you have any useful skills right now, and so can't contribute to the team, but we disagree. Skills can be taught and developed, but strengths come from within. Every person has a set of strengths, and, while building up your skill set, we will look to hone, and collectively benefit from, your strengths.
Thanks for joining our zombie team. We’re glad you’re here!
And...the disclaimer: The "zombie apocalypse" is a metaphor for a personal, community or larger scale emergency. Examples could include the loss of a job, a natural disaster, or an bust in the economy. We do not condone nor support illegal activities, items, or violent crime. Any participant who discusses illegal activities, items, or violent crime will be removed from the group at the organizer's discretion.
This group's content, sessions, and workshops contain adult themes. Parents may consider some material unsuitable for their children, so please attend events at your discretion. Organizers have the right to refuse participation to any participant, either to all events or certain events covering adult themes.
Not all membership applications will be approved.
Basically: use your brain, people, while you still have one!