What we’re about
"I chose the road less travelled… Now I don’t know where I am."
"Never follow someone else's path unless you're in the woods and you're lost, and you see a path. By all means, you should follow that." - Ellen Degeneres
"Bring a compass. It's awkward when you have to eat your friends." - Unknown
So maybe we caught your interest?
Quick note then I’ll tell you what we’re about. We’ve never gotten lost or had to look at members as a food source. This is Chattanooga Outdoor Adventures not the Donner Party (some of you will get that).
We enjoys the outdoors in all forms. Events like Hiking, Rafting, Kayaking, and everything else.
But wait there’s more! I sound like a Ginsu knife commercial. Let’s not let any of the Donners have one of those.
We also plan other great activities in and around Chattanooga. Not just hiking. Musical events, food and wine festivals. A concert in a cave, you get the idea
It’s an open group and would love to get everyone involved and plan a lot of different things. Inclusion and fun are key.
Not just hiking, Adventures of all kinds
It's back! I have had several people ask about doing another one of the cooking classes we did at Sweet and Savory last year so let's try this one.
No attendance limit on this one. If you can get a ticket you're in. If you can't you can stand outside and watch through the window. Kind of creepy, but you'd technically be sharing the event with us. Kind of like Stalking like when two people go for a long romantic walk together, but only one of them knows about it
I looked for a graphic to put in my write up relating to steak and this timeless classic came up. A cow with no legs... ground beef. Then of course my mind remembers related jokes we told in high school. You know the difference between a grown man and high schooler? Years. That's pretty much it.
What do you call a guy with no arms or legs...
In a pile of leaves?
Russell
And what do you call the same guy, 6 months later
PETE!!!!!
In the lake
Bob
Outside the door
Matt
On the wall
Art
In a ditch
Phil
Okay I could go on. We had tons of these, but how do I segue into explaining the event.... (Thinks hard quietly to self)
Phil! we finished on Phil and you can Phil yourself on food after you learn some expert tips on how to cook it. (See what I did there?)
This is a cooking classroom we've done before.
This nights class will be on steak. Ya know if i could figure out how to add Bourbon and Cigars to the evening it would be the happiest of nights.
Here is what we will learn to cook
Classic Wedge Salad with Homemade Buttermilk Ranch
Cast Iron Seared NY Strip Steak with Hollandaise
Twice Baked Potato, crispy fried onions, and Sauteed Broccolini
Handmade Cinnamon Sugar Doughnuts with Strawberry Orange Compote
It's a Steak and Taters night! A little pricey, but fun.
Here is the link where you make your reservation.
Sweet and Savory Classroom Steak and taters night Yummy yummy I have cow in my tummy
They have a bar there so we can drink while we handle sharp knives.
Follow me for more safe practices.
AFTER let's not waste the night. We can walk over to Stir and have a night cap. It's right across the parking lot. If I could smoke a cigar over there my life would be complete, I have low expectations and standards.
The Stir Schtick is here (See what I did there? again?)
Stir
I managed to turn it into a mature write up. I will leave you with a few more.
In your hot tub?
Stu
On your BBQ grill?
Frank
When you throw him across a pond ?
Skip
On hot asphalt?
Flip
No arms, no legs, and no PELVIS??
Chester
Going over a fence?
Homer
Guy with no arms or legs who's upside down in the end zone?
Spike
In your girlfriend's lingerie drawer?
Teddy.
I'll stop now. You haven't read this far anyways.
Upcoming events (4+)
See all- Collins Gulf Tail to Horse Pound Falls and Collins River and Miso Hungry501 Signal Mountain Rd, Chattanooga, TN
Wow! That is a long title!
A Sunday Hike as requested.
Creatively stuck today. So you get the Short stuff. Hey if my Favorite Podcast can have Short Stuff Episodes so can I.
The horse in the picture does have fantastic hair though.
Maybe she's born with it maybe it's neighbelline.
Dad humor to break the ice.
**What:**Collins Gulf to Horse Pound Falls and Collins River. (Are Horse pounds different than human pounds? No, so why the name Horse Pounds. Why does my mind wander like this?)
The cut and paste description: (I mean why type it all out when you can just copy it, I love cut and paste) "Experience this 4.5-mile out-and-back trail near Gruetli-Laager, Tennessee. Generally considered a moderately challenging route, it takes an average of 2 h 12 min to complete. This is a popular trail for hiking, but you can still enjoy some solitude during quieter times of day. The best times to visit this trail are March through May."
Where to meet: Wal-Mart @ 501 Signal Mountain Road. The usual place, Towards the street (I could draw you a map, but you have smart phones and it will be much more accurate in it's directions than my hand drawn map. Kids today will not understand the phrase "do I need to draw you a map?" In certain matters pertaining to some things I have been told I need a map)
After hike there's food: Miso Hungry Hibachi in Grueti Lager. Tacos, fajitas, Egg Rolls and Hibachi, A little twisted
What Next: Drive back to Wal-Mart to your car and go home to the ones you love. Or if people want to do something else like go to Merv's and shoot pool, hair of the dog and throw darts whatever I am wide open, but you think of something. You can do it.
What to bring: Yourself or someone like you, hiking boots, poles if you have them and need them, some form of Hydration (beer does not count), You know this stuff! Any gear you might need, Sandra Bullock, Wal-mart Great Value Fruit Smiles, and a snack of your choosing. Nobody reads this part anyways.
Trail rating: Moderately difficult like some people I know.
Length: 4.5 Mile.... Stop it! Would I lie to you? (NOTE that is rhetorical)
Elevation Change: 866' (I swear I am not lying... this time)
The All Trails Schtick
Collins Gulf Tail to Horse Pound Falls and Collins RiverAfter we are going to eat of course.
I will tred carefully with my restaurant choices name. I think there's a 2 live crew reference from the late Eighties in their name. Must behave. This place has an eclectic menu. Basically a traditional Hibachi (thats a fun word) restaurant with other stuff like Hibachi Quesadillas, fajitas, and Street tacos. Egg rolls and teriyaki stuff. A little twisted, but fun
Miso Hungry RestaurantSee I can do Shortish on my write ups, but life is about fun. I have fun with my write-ups.
Okay so maybe not so short.
- Sweet and Savory Cooking Class-Steakhouse Dinner Night and cocktails afterSweet and Savory Classroom, Chattanooga, TN
It's back! I have had several people ask about doing another one of the cooking classes we did at Sweet and Savory last year so let's try this one.
No attendance limit on this one. If you can get a ticket you're in. If you can't you can stand outside and watch through the window. Kind of creepy, but you'd technically be sharing the event with us. Kind of like Stalking like when two people go for a long romantic walk together, but only one of them knows about it
I looked for a graphic to put in my write up relating to steak and this timeless classic came up. A cow with no legs... ground beef. Then of course my mind remembers related jokes we told in high school. You know the difference between a grown man and high schooler? Years. That's pretty much it.
What do you call a guy with no arms or legs...
In a pile of leaves?
RussellAnd what do you call the same guy, 6 months later
PETE!!!!!In the lake
BobOutside the door
MattOn the wall
ArtIn a ditch
PhilOkay I could go on. We had tons of these, but how do I segue into explaining the event.... (Thinks hard quietly to self)
Phil! we finished on Phil and you can Phil yourself on food after you learn some expert tips on how to cook it. (See what I did there?)
This is a cooking classroom we've done before.
This nights class will be on steak. Ya know if i could figure out how to add Bourbon and Cigars to the evening it would be the happiest of nights.
Here is what we will learn to cook
Classic Wedge Salad with Homemade Buttermilk Ranch
Cast Iron Seared NY Strip Steak with Hollandaise
Twice Baked Potato, crispy fried onions, and Sauteed Broccolini
Handmade Cinnamon Sugar Doughnuts with Strawberry Orange Compote
It's a Steak and Taters night! A little pricey, but fun.
Here is the link where you make your reservation.
Sweet and Savory Classroom Steak and taters night Yummy yummy I have cow in my tummyThey have a bar there so we can drink while we handle sharp knives.
Follow me for more safe practices.
AFTER let's not waste the night. We can walk over to Stir and have a night cap. It's right across the parking lot. If I could smoke a cigar over there my life would be complete, I have low expectations and standards.
The Stir Schtick is here (See what I did there? again?)
StirI managed to turn it into a mature write up. I will leave you with a few more.
In your hot tub?
StuOn your BBQ grill?
FrankWhen you throw him across a pond ?
SkipOn hot asphalt?
FlipNo arms, no legs, and no PELVIS??
ChesterGoing over a fence?
HomerGuy with no arms or legs who's upside down in the end zone?
SpikeIn your girlfriend's lingerie drawer?
Teddy.I'll stop now. You haven't read this far anyways.
- Kayak to Burgess Falls, Happy Trails Brewing and Trail Grub RestaurantWalmart Supercenter, Chattanooga, TN
Too hot to hike Summer series!
Book your Kayak now or swim! Limited number of Kayaks You'll need to be a really good swimmer though. It's far.
Amber just led a great hike to these falls and it reminded me of a kayak trip I did there last year.
Let's do it again. I am recycling this.
Time Zones: The time to meet at Wal-Mart to Carpool is Eastern Time. If you're in Chattanooga and it is 11:30 Zulu time (that means local time, Chattanooga it just sounds cool to say it that way though) You should be at the Walmart. The Reservation is however Central Time. We will need to be at the outfitter at 12:30 Central Time. Not using any Zulus here. So the time to meet at Walmart is Eastern Time. The time to be at the outfitter is in the Central time zone.
To review
Carpooling? Be at Walmart at 11:30 EASTERN TIME
Meeting us there? At the beach 12:30 CENTRAL TIME (we should be to the beach no later than 1:00 CENTRAL TIME after we check in)The word kayak comes from an Inuit word meaning “man-boat” or “hunting boat.” The Inuits, you might know as “Eskimos,” lived around Greenland and used kayaks made from animal skins stretched over wooden or whale-bone frames for transportation, hunting, and fishing. It even sounds manly. Whale bones, animal skins, the smell of Old spice cologne... Okay maybe not the latter part so much.
So we can row our Man boats to see the falls. Todays Kayaks are made of roto-molded polyethylene resins. Not sure what that is, but it doesn't sound as cute as a deer or as majestic as a whale. So no cute or majestic animals will be harmed on this trip. Not so manly sounding either so let's just say Kayak instead of man boat. .
Anyways...
Look at the pictures. It is a beautiful place. You will get to view the Falls from the base of the falls.by kayaking to them.
Make your reservations here. Choose May 19th. at 1:00 pm CENTRAL TIME. Please book your kayak before you sign up for the event. They have 11 kayaks. You can bring your own and park at the put in point. Don't even have to pay a shuttle.
Cumberland Kayak and Adventure Company
After the paddle we eat! Just down the road is Happy Trails Brewing. They serve this delicious liquid called beer. Beer for dinner? No of course not. Beer is for breakfast. Well actually that was only that one time in college. The beer will be with a meal inside the Brewery at Trailhead Grub.
I can't find a menu, but here is their facebook site.
Trailhead Grub.Here is the Brewery
Happy Trails BreweryThe plan is to meet at the Walmart on Signal Mountain Road and carpool. Riding together is always better.
Those who do not want to carpool be at the Kayak place around 12:30 pm CENTRAL TIME