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7 Surprising Online Dating Tips…

From: Art
Sent on: Thursday, November 3, 2011 1:00 PM

Hi NY Singles. Lately, a lot of people have been asking us if we can help with online dating. I just spoke with Scott who is amazing in online dating, and i think it should be a venue for a lot of people. Yet, it is can also be very frustrating. Thats why talking to Scott was refreshing, he litteraly makes an onilne dating and s easy as 1,2,3. Also take a look at the tips in the article, we found them to be very true in online dating. Even if Scott's services is not something you want at the moment, his tips will make your online dating so much more effective in meeting a man or woman that you really like.

Scott Valdez is the President of Virtual Dating Assistants (ViDA), a company that has clocked over 100k hours helping clients get high-quality dates using sites like and OkCupid. He and his experts have worked with hundreds of men and women in NYC and other large metro areas.


His team can handle all aspects of the online dating process. Some clients just use them to help lighten the load, but most hire them to do everything -- from setting up your online dating profile to sending ‘ice-breaker’ emails to actually setting up the dates.


A lot of people think outsourcing your online dating is really impersonal, but that’s what I’ve found online dating to be. It’s impossible to predict chemistry with checkboxes and five-line emails.


Scott’s job is to get you in person with other singles from dating sites as quickly as possible so that you can test out the chemistry and see if there’s a connection.


When it comes to online dating Scott really knows his stuff, so I’m really glad he decided to share some of his tips for meeting people online with us today.


… Enter Scott …



Hey Art, thanks for inviting me to give some online dating advice to your readers.


Today I’ll be sharing some of my very best data-driven online dating tips...


First though, let me say that in this day and age, I really believe that online dating absolutely must be a part of your overall dating strategy.


I don’t care how many other singles you’re already meeting offline. If you aren’t meeting new people on the internet, you are limiting your dating possibilities in a very big way.


These days, around 50% of singles in the US have a profile on at least one online dating site. That could help explain why 1 out of 6 marriages that are happening in the US right now originated online, and nearly 30% of couples are meeting on the web. 


But, as great as those stats sound, online dating can also be very time consuming and extremely competitive.


The authors of “Freakonomics” discovered that 56% of men that create an online dating profile do not even get one single message, while Jupiter Research found that 97% quit within 3 months – citing lack of results as the number one reason.


That’s a big part of why I started Virtual Dating Assistants (ViDA). People are too busy to crack the code to successful online dating. So we simply do it for them.


In order get the best results possible for our clients we rely heavily on data (both internal and external) to optimize our efforts.


Internally, we track 19+ variables related to every first message we send out on behalf of our clients. We also measure the effectiveness of different profile elements. 


Externally, we pay attention to discoveries by others key players within the market, such as OkCupid. 


Most people tend to rely on their gut and past experiences to guide them in their quest for love. But, if you’re one of those people, considering the following data-driven dating tips may help to maximize your success online: 


Site Selection


It Usually Pays to Pay: Here at ViDA, we found that each message we sent on a paid site (i.e. was two times as likely to result in a date as a free site (i.e. Plenty of Fish).


It makes sense that people who are dropping $20-60 per month for memberships are more serious about arranging a date offline. 


But keep in mind that there are some bad paid sites out there too. Be sure to do your research before you open your wallet.


That said, OkCupid is becoming a highly effective free site that can compete with high-quality paid sites like in terms of the overall site and selection quality.




Avoid Flash: According to data analysis by OkCupid, flash adds 7 years to your age. So a 37-year-old using flash has the same attractiveness level to the opposite sex as a 30 year old that does not use flash.


Ladies, Smile! Men, Don’t Even Think About It: Data analysis by OkCupid shows that an inviting smile from a woman will reel in more men.


Surprisingly though, OkCupid also discovered that men who look away from the camera and don't smile have a much higher chance of getting a response than those who look directly into the camera. Why? Well, my non-scientific theory is that by not looking, you appear stronger and more challenging while simultaneously building aura and mystique.


If You've Got It, Flaunt it!: Women in their early 20s who use photos that show cleavage get around 24% more responses, according to OkCupid. Surprise, surprise.  But what’s more interesting is that that number jumps to 79% by age 32.


Similarly, men who show their abs also do better, but it would make sense that only men with nice abs are showing them off online. I strongly recommend that men only give women a glimpse of their six-pack if they do it in a way that doesn’t make them look like they’re deliberately showing them off… for example, you could be diving into a pool or jumping in the air to spike a volleyball.


Let Your Target Market Determine Your Best Photos:  Choosing the photos to use can be really tough but, luckily, there’s a user-driven web app called MyBestFace that will help you to quickly narrow in on the keepers and eliminate the duds. Think of it as rapid market research for one of the most important elements of your campaign.


Profile Updates


Increase Your Visibility by Keeping Your Content Fresh:  We realized here at ViDA that there was a correlation between updating client profiles and receiving unsolicited winks and emails. We discovered that when you make a minor update to a profile that is then sent to a site moderator for review, you are moved to the top of some of the sites’ search engines. Think of it as the SEO (Search Engine Optimization) of online dating. 


Our clients received four times as many “winks” when we started doing daily profile updates.  And building traffic to your profile is key… Messages sent to people who had simply viewed a client's profile were just over 80% more likely to elicit a reply.




Focus on the Most Active Users: According to data we’ve collected here at ViDA, if you email someone who was last active one to three weeks ago then your response rate will be 60% lower than if you message one that’s ‘online now’.  And good luck getting responses from those who haven’t accessed their profile in more than three weeks; here your response rate plummets to almost 0%.



OK, I know what you’re thinking by now. Yes, running regressions and analyses to determine how to increase your "hits" may appear to strip the romance out of digital dating…


but, lets not forget the real purpose of online dating – to meet people offline, and find out if you have chemistry. In order to do that, you have to know what you’re doing or you’ll be lucky to end up with a penpal...


I certainly wish I knew what I know now back when I was first starting out in the online dating game. I remember wanting to smash my laptop into pieces!


… but I’ve come a LONG way since then.


Whether you’d like solid online dating advice to speed up the learning curve or are interested in hiring my team to do it all for you, I’d love to help you out…


For more info, check out or feel free to email me personally at [address removed].


To your online dating success,


Scott Valdez

Founder, ViDA


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