What we’re about
We run peer-led social events in/around London for people who consider themselves shy, introverted, or both. This is intended to be a safe, relaxed, understanding, accommodating, and respectful environment where shy individuals and introverts can meet like-minded people who share similar journeys and interests, have fun together, and make new friends. Many of our events are low-pressure and tailored to suit shy and introverted individuals in terms of topics and surroundings.
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Before joining our group, please read and agree to our Group Rules and Banning Procedure and Legal Disclaimer and Release of Liability.
This is not a singles or dating group, nor a place to “pick up”. Members found attending events or sending unsolicited messages with the intent to "chat them up" will be immediately banned without warning. Persistent messaging to someone who does not reply or has explicitly asked to stop will also result in an immediate ban. Please report this type of behaviour if you witness it, to help us keep the group a safespace for all members.
This is not a support group. This group is not intended to serve as a professional mental health service nor a substitute for professional support. Our social event hosts are not qualified to serve as therapists or carers. If you require professional help, Jaz has kindly compiled a list of helpful resources for Free and Low-cost Counselling/Therapy in London. If you are in a crisis, please check out these resources.
Please keep in mind that Organisers and Hosts in this group are peers. We contribute our time because we care. Many of us have lived experience of shyness, social anxiety, low self-esteem, and other associated challenges. We all do our best, but we are only human and none of us are perfect. Please treat us with the same understanding you would want to receive.
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Our aim
The definition and specifics of shyness are unique to each one of us. No two people are shy in the same way. Shyness is contextual and it should always be acknowledged as a two-part statement - there are aspects and scenarios of our social life where we feel comfortable, relaxed, and confident; and there are others where we may feel less so. It is the former that defines us, not the latter.
As introverts, we typically enjoy socialising in smaller groups, in quieter and less crowded settings, without overwhelming sensory stimulations such as loud noise or bright lights. Our introversion is a preference, not a weakness.
Understanding and appreciating our shyness and/or introversion empowers us to take control of our social activities and social circles. Some days we may wish to challenge ourselves and venture into less comfortable scenarios, taking small steps at a time and at our own pace. Other days we may prefer to relax in familiar settings where we can be ourselves without pretence. It's essential to strike a balance between these options and make conscious choices about what is most beneficial for us at any given time.
That's where our meetup group comes in. Our aim is to provide a safe space with a wide variety of social events and clear descriptions of what each event entails. This way, you can choose the most suitable options for yourself and enjoy them in the company of others who are on similar journey. We'll do our best to help you have a great time.
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About us
Steve Light originally set up this group in 2010 to help people who are lonely, shy, socially anxious, have low self-esteem etc (hence members being called 'SociaLights'). From 2013, Jaz ran the group in his place until she chose to step down in 2021, which she considers a great honour. What began as a bi-weekly pub social had expanded beyond imagination, thanks to the leadership and selfless work from Jaz.
As of 2023, we are the world's largest shyness and social anxiety Meetup group, with members from diverse ages (18 and above), backgrounds, beliefs, circumstances and experiences.
This is a welcoming safespace where you can meet like-minded people and make new friends, all while having fun in a social setting. We offer a wide range of social meetup events including activity-based and conversation-based events. Where possible, we tailor our events' topics and surroundings to suit shy and introverted individuals. Hosts are always happy to help with queries and necessary adjustments to ensure everyone is comfortable.
This is a Private Group, meaning that non-members cannot see who is in this group, the discussions or any Meetup details (aside from the title, date, time and how many people are attending). This measure is in place to protect the privacy and security of everyone in the group.
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Media mentions
In 2023, our group was featured in Financial Times Magazine article "How I learnt to live with shyness" by Emma Jacobs. Great thanks to Emma for giving us the opportunity to participate and contribute.
In 2018, our group was featured by BBC Two and BBC Wales on their documentary, "Stand Up to Shyness", starring award-winning Welsh comedian Rhod Gilbert. This documentary explored shyness and social anxiety in an informative, sensitive and meaningful way, with an emphasis on embracing who you are.
Special thanks to: Mei Williams (director), Sally Lisk-Lewis (producer), Gwenllian Hughes (producer) and Rhod Gilbert himself.
Listen to Rhod talking further about his participation in The London Shyness Social Group on BBC Radio 5 live, where he shares his own experiences of living with shyness and anxiety.
You can hear more about us - directly from our members - at Resonance FM on The Club. In this series, Ben Davis spends time with many different communities to explore contemporary subcultures in the UK.
Since then, we have been featured by the BBC World Service on their radio series, The Why Factor. You can hear their episode about shyness, which features excerpts from group members, here.
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Harassment Report and Complaint/Feedback:
We take harassment seriously and allow anonymous reports. All submissions and further follow-ups would be strictly confidential.
To report complaint(s) or concern(s), have a look at our Complaints Procedure.
We understand and respect that this group might not be what you're looking for, and that's okay. Here are other Recommended Meetup Groups, which are similar to ours. This list is updated periodically, but if you have any suggestions to add to the list, please do let us know.