An introvert is someone whose inner battery gets recharged by healthy stretches of “me-time.” Being introverted doesn’t prevent you from having a big friend group, and it doesn’t mean that you’re always quiet, shy, or reserved in public settings. You absolutely can be an introvert with super social skills—there are probably some fun and interesting introverts in your life who you would never guess were more energized by alone time than by socializing.
If you’re an introvert who has trouble making a splash in social situations, you’re not alone. There are tons of resources to help you gain confidence and feel more natural speaking up. When you work on public speaking skills, it becomes so much easier to talk and meet new people and enjoy a bigger social circle. Plus, there are potentially huge professional benefits to the ability to connect with colleagues and articulate yourself well. So if you often feel too shy to speak up, consider what you’re missing out on, then follow these five tips to improve your public speaking.
1. Identify where there’s room for improvement
Think about public settings you feel comfortable in, and contrast those with situations that leave you feeling a bit reserved or removed from the conversation. There may be a shared theme among the settings that make you feel shy. For example, some common situations that provoke shyness include:
- Communicating at work, especially with higher-ups
- Big group settings like house parties or crowded bars
- Small get-togethers including one-on-one hangouts or dates
- When a friend brings new people into the mix
- Attending some kind of event on your own
2. Give yourself a speaking goal
Now that you’re more aware of your particular public speaking challenges, set an easily achievable objective to get the ball rolling. That could mean introducing yourself to at least one person at your next party, or speaking up at least once at every work meeting you attend.
Some people progress by forcing themselves outside of their usual comfort zone. You could volunteer to give a presentation in the office or school, ask a friend to introduce you to more of their social circle, or even think outside the box by joining a local acting class or talking about books with a book club.
3. Familiarize yourself with different kinds of speaking
Public speaking is a skill with different facets. To master it, you’ll want to explore these various branches, from more presentation-oriented situations where you’re the only one speaking to casual back-and-forth dialogues.
Notice how close friends or colleagues who seem like confident speakers subtly change their approach for different contexts. Ask yourself:
- How does body language play into professional vs. casual settings?
- In a one-on-one, what’s a good balance between talking and listening?
- When and how should you enter into the conversation with a big group?
4. Be prepared to ask and answer open-ended questions
No one knows you like you do—that’s why the easiest topic to talk about is yourself! Whenever you’re trying to keep the conversation flowing, ask people a light question that requires more than a one-word answer. Instead of framing your question in a yes-or-no manner, leave space for the other person to expand. For example, you could say:
- What did you think about the latest company-wide meeting?
- Tell me the best thing that happened to you today.
- How would you change your college experience if you could re-do it?
- What does your perfect weekend look like?
- When’s the last time you read something that blew you away?
On the flip side, you should be prepared for other people to ask you questions like these. Think about common icebreaker topics and come up with your answers beforehand, so you can avoid feeling flustered and forgetful in the moment. You don’t have to memorize a whole response, just go in knowing what some of your opinions, interests, hobbies, plans, and future goals are.
5. Practice, practice, practice
It’s the only way to get to Carnegie Hall. Good thing there’s no shortage of opportunities to practice public speaking through Meetup! In fact, there are tons of social groups specifically for introverts, like:
- Brooklyn INFP, Introverts Meetup Group
- Houston Introverted Women’s Social Club
- Denver Socializing Introverts
There are also plenty of groups that aren’t catered specifically to introverts, but still provide the perfect setting for introverted people to connect. Here are so groups whose events always have built-in quiet time and a social component:
- Shut Up & Write! (374 groups in 55 countries)
- Central Park Sketching & Art Meetup Group
- AMC Lunch and a Movie
It’s so much easier to be vocal when you’re engaging in an activity you love. Find a Meetup event that matches your interests, or create your own Meetup group and invite others to join you.
Last modified on October 18, 2023
