In this Meetup Live event, we’re celebrating all that mothers do and reflecting on how parent-child relationships can be strengthened throughout different phases of life.
Watch this recording for a discussion with Hilary Truong, a mother-daughter relationship expert and former therapist for teenage girls, on how to nurture your maternal bonds. During this chat, you will understand the primary reasons why mothers and children struggle in their relationship and hear about a framework to work through obstacles and form a healthy life-long attachment. Learn to meet each other’s needs, show love, and communicate, even if you don’t always see eye-to-eye—a useful lesson for any mother, daughter, or son!
Main Takeaways:
Why there are conflicts in the mother-daughter relationship
- The mother-daughter relationship can be challenging at times, often due to gender dynamics and difficulties in communication. A major struggle between mothers and daughters stems from daughters feeling unheard and misunderstood. It boils down to the simple yet complex issue of mothers needing to listen and genuinely understand their daughters. Many mothers see reflections of themselves in their daughters, which can present its own set of challenges.
How different phases of life impact the mother-daughter relationship
- The mother-daughter relationship is a dynamic journey that unfolds through various stages of life.
- During adolescence, daughters assert their independence, leading to clashes as they strive to establish their own identities. Effective communication, active listening, and mutual respect are essential in navigating this stage.
- The stage of moving out is a significant shift, as daughters embark on their own paths. Mothers must find a balance between offering support and allowing their daughters the freedom to explore independently. Maintaining an open line of communication and being a reliable source of guidance can help throughout this transition.
- Marriage or partnership introduces new dimensions to the relationship. Conflicts may arise as expectations, traditions, and boundaries are redefined. By openly discussing desires, needs, and concerns, mothers and daughters can establish mutual understanding.
- Motherhood brings a unique dynamic, as daughters transition into the role of caregivers themselves. The relationship evolves as they navigate the joys and challenges of raising children. Sharing experiences, seeking guidance, and finding common ground can strengthen the bond during this stage.
- The later stages of retirement and caregiving pose new challenges. Daughters may find themselves caring for aging mothers, requiring patience, empathy, and effective communication.
Techniques to handle conflict
- Despite mothers’ wisdom and life experiences, I often advise mothers to prioritize listening over talking. Understanding our daughters’ thoughts and needs requires active listening. Before having conversations about needs, it’s crucial to identify them.
Top Q&A Questions and Resources:
- When you notice your child pulling away, how do you manage the balance between independence and stepping in to support?
- Finding a balance between being there for your daughter and respecting her need for space can be challenging. It’s important to convey understanding and support while giving her room to figure things out on her own.
- Can you share specific recommendations for modes of communication and frequency?
- It really depends on their age and living situation. If they’re still under your roof, it’s great to have a daily chat. Even if it’s just a quick catch-up in the hallway or during a car ride, staying connected every day is important. Once they’re out of the house, things change. Their lives become busier with more going on. In that case, talking once a week or a couple of times a week might work better. Remember, it’s not about a set rule. It’s about finding what works for your kid and for you.
- Could you share some of the resources that you read that improved things for you?
- I have a course where I teach mothers how to navigate the mother-daughter relationship and bring about positive changes. While books have been a valuable resource for my work, I want to clarify that they alone didn’t heal or transform my relationships. It was through working with professionals that I found support and guidance. However, there are a few books I recommend. “The Mother-Daughter Puzzle” is an excellent resource we discussed earlier, addressing mother blame and backed by Paula Caplan’s thorough research. Another insightful book is “Mother-Daughter Wisdom” by Christiane Northrup.
Resources:
- Visit this link for instant access to Hilary’s three-part video training series 3 Steps to Connecting with Your Daughter for FREE and implement a more calm, confident, and connected approach to protect your bond and get your daughter talking today!
- Website
Last modified on May 16, 2023
