Clarify Your Values

We’ve all heard the saying…

Character is destiny.

And it rings true. But what is character? How would you define it?

If you ask me, I’d say character is the sum total of our values.

It’s what you stand for, and why.

Do you know what you stand for? Do you know why you stand for it?

Most importantly, does your walk match your talk?

Many of us have only a general sense of what our values are, and an even more vague idea about our top values. We’ve never taken the time to clarify them.

That became clear in our last meeting on courage. When we looked at Brene Brown’s research on the 4 components of courage (Vulnerability, Clarity of Values, Trust, and Rising Skills), Clarity of Values was the least clear in the group!

And that’s a problem.

Values give us direction. They point us to the right decisions and help us set clear boundaries. They give us self-esteem and a sense of belonging to ourselves when we live by them.

Even when things don’t work out how we want, if we know we lived by our values, we can hold our head high and walk away intact, instead of falling apart.

So in this meeting, we’re going to get crystal clear on our values!

We’ll start with some self-focused time where we’ll review a list of values and pick out our top 5.

Then we’ll give ourselves a score for how well we’re living those values in our everyday life.

Then comes the challenge! We’ll narrow our choices down to our top 2 values.

After this self-focused time, we’ll gather in small groups and discuss questions that help us solidify our values even more. Questions like…

• Why did you choose the top values that you chose? Why are those most important to you?

• Were there any large gaps between one of your top values and the score you gave yourself for how well you were living it? What’s the awareness you gained from seeing that gap?

• What’s an action you could take to start to close that gap, even a little bit?

• Take your top value (or one of your top values) - what are your behaviors that express this value in your everyday life?

• What are the behaviors you exhibit when you’re not living this value?

• Describe a time when you lived this value, even when it was hard. What was the result? How did you feel?

• Describe a time when you didn’t live this value when faced with a tough situation. What was the result? How did you feel?

• Which of your top values is easiest for you to live? Which is the hardest? Why?

• What gets in the way of living your top values? Where is this most evident in your life right now?

• Now that you’re crystal clear on your top values, what adjustments (if any) would you like to make in your life to live them more fully?

As always, come ready to get real…hold space…and create some transformative insights with your fellow Bolder Women!

I can’t wait to see you there!

Love,
Terra