Real Chicken Wings have Bones... The Scenic City Wings Festival
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My youngest daughter and I have a debate. I am a transplanted New Yorker. the place that invented Chicken wings. She likes "Boneless Chicken wings" I point out they're really just chicken nuggets slathered in sauce. Call them Saucy Nugs or something if you want a catchy name, but no, they're not chicken wings.
The Following is a true story. Oh, and Fun fact Ander's father served on the City Council.
Ander Christensen of Lincoln, Nebraska decided he couldn't take it anymore. He marched right up to the city council and made an impassioned plea
"I go into nice family restaurants and I see people throwing this name around and pretending as though everything is just fine. I'm talking about boneless chicken wings. I propose that we as a city remove the name 'boneless wings' from our menus and from our hearts. These are reasons why: Number one: Nothing about boneless chicken wings actually come from the wing of a chicken. We would be disgusted if a butcher was mislabeling their cuts of meats, but then we go around pretending as though the breast of the chicken is its wing?" "Number two," he continues, "boneless chicken wings are just chicken tenders, which are already boneless. I don't go and order boneless tacos. I don't go and order boneless club sandwiches. I don't ask for boneless auto repair. It's just what's expected.
"Number three: We need to raise our children better," he then says. This is where it gets serious. "Our children are raised being afraid of having bones attached to their meat. That's where meat comes from. It grows on bones. We need to teach them that the wing of a chicken is from a chicken, and it's delicious.
I propose that we rename boneless wings in the city of Lincoln. We can call them Buffalo Style Chicken Tenders. We can call them Wet Tenders. We can call them Saucy Nuggs or Trash. A few more names I'll just quickly throw in for consideration: Buffalo Balls, Chicken Chews, or Wings for Wusses. I'm fine with any of them.
"We can take these steps and show the country where we stand, and that we understand that we've been living a lie for far too long, and we know it because we feel it in our bones."
Ladies and Gentleman not all heroes wear capes.
At the end there "feel it in our bones." He tied it all together. It was beautiful, but my standards aren't that high.
True story. It was read into their minutes. The Gettysburg address of the Chicken wing debate.
I bet his dad cried a few tears of joy and pride. You sir raised raised your son correctly.
There may be no tears from a stirring speech at this event, but there will perhaps be tears of joy from the deliciousness or from the heat of the wings.
I leave you with this quote
“I couldn’t recall any guy ever looking at me like that unless I was holding a basket of chicken wings or something.” — Jennifer L. Armentrout
You can find the person of your dreams with a basket of chicken wings not Saucy nugs.
Or this
“I don’t mind hot and spicy. Actually find that appealing in a girl. And chicken wings.” — Julie James
I wonder if my celebrity crush Sandra Bullock likes saucy nugs or real wings. Could be a deal breaker...
Yeah right. I could learn to live with it Sandra.
So here's the deal we meet on the sidewalk out in front of Naked River Brewing and go inside the First Horizon Pavilion and eat wings. Then maybe we walk down after to one of the nearby pubs like Southside social, Chattanooga Brewing, or Whiskey Cowgirl.
Here's this. Do people actually click on these?
This will be a great way to cure what ails you after Saturdays Whiskey Festival. Or aggravate what ails you. Either way.
I can get up from the Crash Pad Hostel I am staying in the night after the Whiskey Festival (I am being responsible and not driving) and walk to this. May actually get a quick cup of Coffee and a pastry before to kill some time, We'll see.
Hiking season is starting. Eat the Chicken wings. We will walk it off. later.