About us
Here is a chance to meet thoughtful people who feel passionately about the deep and meaningful things in life. The group invites like-minded people to engage in lively discussion on a broad range of intellectual topics. Everyone is welcome - just bring your point of view and willingness to share it in a spirit of open mindedness, and a sense of humour.
If you are just looking for a good argument, this group is not for you. If you are craving some good conversation and want to communicate and learn from other people's perspectives, please join us. We attempt to:
- actively listen, consider and respond rather than react. Pauses in the discussion are valuable, giving participants time to reflect;
- keep an open mind and stay curious - seek first to understand before making assumptions and judging others;
- we seek to share our ideas and grow mutual understanding, rather than to convert others to our point of view;
- if possible, vary your content to mix first-hand (personal experience) with second-hand (facts/stats) knowledge;
- balance 'deep and serious' content with 'light and interesting' dialogue. We like to have fun too;
- stay invested in the conversation, even when you don’t agree with what is being said;
- we value your full presence and ask that all participants switch their mobile phones to “Airplane Mode” for the duration of the meetup. Using your phone as a notepad for ideas is fine;
- we are welcoming to new members and respectful of their ideas both in and around meetups.
The primary focus of this group is to meet face to face, either in real life or online – it is not an online messaging discussion group. Any online communication should be as part of the meetup preparation or follow-up.
We avoid topics that are based upon "belief" or "faith". There are other more suitable meetups if this is your area of interest. (For example, we would only ever discuss religion or spirituality in a sociological or psychological context.)
Please note that it is mandatory to order a drink and / or food to support the venue which is hosting us. We ask for a $1 donation at each meetup to cover Meetup and Zoom fees.
For online meetings: - make sure that you are sitting in a quiet place - if there is some unavoidable background noise, mute your microphone when you are not speaking
- enable the Do Not Disturb mode on your cellphone so that we don’t hear your messages and calls. - use a headset or headphones if possible - this will improve sound quality for everyone.
Because it is not fair to those on a waiting list if a person RSVPs 'Yes', but then does not show up, a 'Two Strikes' rule will be applied. What this means is that if a member fails to show up twice or payment is not received in advance for two online meetups, they will be banned from attending further D & M Meetups. However, when the organising committee considers the possible banning of a long-term member who has had an otherwise good attendance record, 'no shows' recorded prior to 2 years ago will be disregarded.
This group has been going for many years now and we are proud of the culture we have created together. We look forward to seeing you there.
Upcoming events
1
It’s tough being an adult?
Little Turkish Cafe, 217 Karangahape Road, Auckland, NZDespite the foundational role of adults in our society, it is not an easy position. 'For the times they are a-changin' sang Bob Dylan and 'we need to…
admit that the waters
Around you have grown…
If your time to you is worth savin'....
you better start swimmin'Before I mention some of the changes facing adulthood, let's start with a definition of when adulthood is achieved:
- Biological: The completion of physical growth and full brain development, particularly the prefrontal cortex, which matures around age 25.
- Legal: The age of majority set by law (NZ 18), granting voting rights, contractual autonomy, and full legal accountability.
- Psychological: The internal shift toward self-governance, characterized by accepting personal responsibility, making independent decisions, and achieving financial self-sufficiency.
Consideration of the pressures facing adulthood, reveal much more about the challenges of this stage in life than the earlier definition:
1.The pathway to adulthood - is less certain, less familiar and more complex than it was for our parents
2.Cognitively unprepared for the modern industrial age - 64% of adults remain stuck in "Mind 1.0"—a state of dependent thinking driven primarily by a desire for basic safety, comfort, and external validation—leaving them unequipped for an interdependent, highly complex world (Ryan Gottfredson).
3. Hyper-individualism - adults are often left on their own to deal with crises which leads to exhaustion and burnout. Where in the past they had collective support from family, wide range of friends.
4.Lifestyle Illnesses - Research published in places like Psychology Today highlights that our "stone-age bodies" face severe physical degradation (e.g., Type II diabetes, cardiovascular issues) because our ancient genetic legacy cannot keep pace with unlimited caloric availability and sedentary routines.Tonight as an end goal I would like to bring our collective wisdom to the task of addressing some of these issues. It could include ideas such as:
- Build a diverse micro-community -Join a local hobby club or volunteer group to combat digital isolation and build physical social safety nets.
- Radical Rest - Redefine productivity by prioritizing sleep, hobbies that yield no financial return, and unstructured downtime to prevent chronic burnout.
- Re-engineer - social institutions and infrastructure to support adult development throughout a longer, more volatile lifespan.
- Connection - Counteract superficial social media interactions by scheduling dedicated, device-free time with close friends and family.
- Develop greater personal agency - live intentionally by becoming more creative or taking on additional responsibility/leadership.
Here are prompts, soft guard rails, to guide tonight's discussion.
1. Is the earlier definition of adulthood suffiently enccompassing?
2. What evidence is there that adults are not coping as well as they might?- Relationships
- Parenting
- Adapting to changing workplace
- Building leadership, to address complex social, environmental and political challenges.
3. What evidence is there that our social institutions need some re-engineering?
- Adult education
- How can society better support adults?
- Who do you look to as a mentor, guide?
4. How can we better help ourselves to be the best we can and also thrive.
Finally ....."Life is a journey to be experienced, not a problem to be solved."
No preparation is required—just bring your wisdom, your curiosity, and a willingness to explore deep social changes with others.CUSTOMS
You must register and be on the “Attendees - Going” list to attend. Minimum spend of $10 at the cafe on food and/or drink. This enables us to have free use of their private room.We meet UPSTAIRS at the Little Turkish Cafe.Please arrive early to order food and/or drink before you join us. Several people arrive early and eat downstairs before the Meetup. You are welcome to join us.
Bring $1 to cover Meetup costs.
RSVP POLICY:
RSVPs and cancellations will be accepted up until 6 hours before the start of the meetup so that people who feel unwell on the day have time to change their RSVP and allow someone else to attend.
Being registered to attend and not attending OR cancelling your attendance after 12:30 pm on Tuesday will be considered a 'No Show'.
Members with two 'No Shows' will be banned from attending further D&M Meetups.This RSVP policy has become necessary due to the high number of last minute withdrawals and non-attendance. This unfairly causes people on the Waiting List to miss out. Thanks for your cooperation.
6 attendees
Past events
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