The Full Dandenong Ranges Circuit — 20km of Flirty Endurance (Very Difficult)

🌿 Eat Drink Dance Melbourne Presents: The Full Dandenong Ranges Circuit — 20km of Flirty Endurance & Forest Mischief

📍 Meet: Olinda Café — 9:45am
⏰ Start: 10:00am sharp
🚶‍♂️ Pace: ~4km/hr (but allow 6–7 hours because… the Dandenongs don’t play)
😭 Difficulty. "Why did I agree to this?"

Alright, adventurous socialites — lace up, hydrate, and prepare your best “I swear I’m outdoorsy” banter. We’re taking on the full Dandenong Ranges circuit, a 15km but more like a 20km romp through fern gullies, skyline lookouts, and tracks that will absolutely test your quads, calves and your flirting stamina. No baby sitting on this grind.

### Before you consider joining this event, read the group rules section at the end ###

Full disclosure: I have a hike fetish at the moment. I can’t stop. I won’t stop. And now I’m dragging you all into the bush with me. I was once a guide.....😉

Expect banter, cheeky encouragement, and the kind of shared suffering that forges lifelong friendships (or at least excellent brunch stories). i.e Type 2 fun.

🥾 What We’re Tackling
This is not a gentle stroll. This is a proper adventure for people with better‑than‑reasonable fitness and a taste for the dramatic

We’ll be hitting:
- The Scarp Track — my old mountain training ground and still a spicy little beast, character building.....Harder than the 1000 Steps — 400m of elevation on rough, rocky terrain for serious adventurers
- Olinda Falls — a lush little reward
- Skyline views — Melbourne shimmering in the distance like a mirage
- SkyHigh Restaurant — where we’ll stop mid‑hike for coffee, cake, and collective sighs of relief
(Their vanilla slice is basically a religious experience.)

We finish where we started: Olinda Café, triumphant, glowing, and ready for carbs or a cold stiff drink and lie down

🎒 What to Bring (aka: Don’t Be That Person)

• Hiking shoes/boots — proper ones. Aggressive tread recommended
• Good runners should be OK
• Hiking poles — highly recommended
• Sun protection
• Clothing appropriate for the conditions
• Gaiters — not essential, but smart
• First aid kit — especially for blisters and other emergencies.
• 3 litres of water (yes, three)
• Electrolytes
• Lunch + snacks - feed the chaos
• Toilet paper
• Your best trail banter

This is a difficult hike in places. It will require technical footing on loose rock, exposed roots, slippery gravel and grass, rough tracks and a very sustained effort. This requires stable ankles, strong quads and solid cardio. In hiking parlance Grade 5 in some places, mostly Grade 3 to Grade 4.

If you’re unsure whether you're fit enough, assume the answer is NO

🚆 Public Transport
Take the Belgrave or Lilydale train line, then hop on the 688 bus to Olinda. Easy.

💃 The Vibe
Playful. Flirty. Supportive. Slightly unhinged in the best way.
Think: sweaty glamour, shared challenge, and that delicious moment when everyone realises they’re stronger than they thought.

Group Rules and Event Etiquette

Fitness Requirements:
Walking: 4+km/hr and 300m vertically in an hour.

If you regularly do 10,000 steps in a day or jog 3km you should be good. Start training!

Ensure you have adequate fitness, it's unfair for the group to wait extended periods for you. You may be asked to exit the event as a consequence.

Very Fast or Very Slow People
It's a group activity the organiser can't manage the group if people are everywhere, please consider going by yourself, joining faster groups or having adequate fitness.
This is a long hike within a maze of trails, Ensure you stay in sight of the organiser

Busy People
Best to give yourself some wiggle room, or not attend the event if you have time constraints. Things rarely go to time, especially when having fun.

+++VERY IMPORTANT+++
People Who Do A No Show.
This is too common for small group events, there may be people on a waitlist Remove yourself from the going list at least 24 hours before the event. If you do a No Show you will likely be removed and blocked from the group.

Late removal (flaking) an hour or two before the event may incur Satan's wrath.

People Not On The Going List
This is a major security concern, DO NOT TURN UP RANDOMLY.You will be asked to leave the event unless you have made arrangements with the organiser PRIOR to the event.

People Who Are Late
You will be left behind and or removed and blocked from the group as a No Show. It is your responsibility to communicate with the organiser if you will be late. It's up to you to catch up. This may not be possible for some events.

⚠️ Disclaimer: No Liability & Organiser Indemnity

By participating in this event, you acknowledge and accept full personal responsibility for your own safety, wellbeing, and belongings. The organiser assumes no liability for injury, loss, or damage incurred during the activity. Participation is entirely at your own risk.