Facing Grief - without Religion

Brought to mind by the solemn 25th anniversary of the catastrophic attack on 9/11/2001, let's discuss how secularists deal with grief, both collectively and individually. Do we share connection with each other? Do we feel "community-less" because we prefer not to participate in the common religious rituals? Are our feelings less acute because we each have chosen a nontheist path? Share what you've learned, what still frustrates you, and any good tips for dealing with challenges. Also, we invite any personal memories of 9/11 - where you were, any people you knew who were there, etc.