In Retrospect - Stories of things you didn't want to do but now are glad you did

I love not doing things I’m supposed to do. I’ve been told it’s my superpower. I like to think of myself as a prodigy. A prodigy for not doing things I have no good reason for not doing.

For years I didn’t have a microwave. Partly because I had other things I needed to spend that money on. But also because I didn’t grow up with a microwave so it never occurred to me that I needed one.

When I was a kid, the only people I knew who had a microwave were David Mason’s family. It was one of those giant 1970s models with a big dial as a timer and one temperature setting - volcano. David and I would put two slices of American cheese between two slices of Wonder bread and press our noses against the glass to watch everything melt into liquid rubber. I’m sure we were irradiated. It was the 10-year-old’s version of the Manhattan Project.

When I started living on my own in the 80s, my apartments never came with a microwave and I never got around to buying one because there were always diapers to buy or a car to fix. So I ate all my leftovers cold and thought nothing of it. Of course, I saw people using microwaves when I was in their homes but I probably went years between the times I used one myself. Most of those times were at quickie marts heating up frozen burritos. In my mind, microwaves were invented for 7-11’s and Circle K’s. Anyone who had one in their home must have money to burn. It seemed like the least necessary home appliance, right up there with pasta makers and pizza scissors.

After a while, I started taking pride in not having a microwave. I’d boast about it when it came up, “I was into slow cooking back when that was the only speed we had.” My lack of microwave paired well with the old typewriters and fountain pens I had lying around the house. I was proud of my analog kitchen and the cast-iron pans I inherited from my dad. I didn’t even have Teflon pans! I had a frying pan, a Dutch oven, and a couple of pots. What more did I need? Did everything stick to the frying pan and have to be scraped off with steel wool and blow torch? Yes. Did I try 42 ways to season those cast iron pans and fail each time? Of course. Did it ever occur to me to buy a Teflon pan? No.

Four years ago, I bought my first house. People started bringing over food as a housewarming gift. When they’d set the casserole dish on the counter they’d always do a slow turn and say, “Where’s your microwave?” When I said I didn’t have one they looked like I’d just admitted that I didn’t have a toothbrush. The look was somewhere between confusion and pity. So I finally bought a microwave. A used one. I did it so people would stop asking if I’d like the spare one they had in the garage. I’ve probably reset the clock on the thing more often than I’ve used it to heat anything up.

My four-decade cold food diet was going great until I started going out with Marni. Watching me eat leftovers without heating them up drives her crazy. I think it activates her Neanderthal DNA (verified by 23-and-me). I can hear the voice in her head saying, “We go through the trouble of discovering fire and you’re not even going to use it??”

So last month I started using the microwave. I was beginning to wonder if I was missing out on something. Are leftovers that much better hot? It turns out they are! Has everyone been heating up their leftovers this whole time? I had no idea hot food was so much better than cold food. I’m like Oppenheimer in the kitchen now. I put everything in the microwave. Buttered toast? I nuke the butter first. Baked potato? Into the magic box it goes. Am I a Victorian dandy? No, I’m a 21st-century man. I’m saving thousands of dollars on tin foil alone! You have no idea how much this has changed my life. Hot food, people. That’s where it’s at. I feel like I just invented the light bulb, the printing press, and heated car seats.

Deep down I know why I kept putting off buying a microwave. I was attached to the identity of Analog Man. I thought doing without a simple convenience gave me integrity. Sometimes ego looks like integrity. I didn’t have much but I could show people I could do without an affordable modern tool and somehow make that look like a principled stand against technology. But really it was just ego and arrogance. Twenty years in therapy and 11 years in a 12-step program and I finally figured that out. Turns out cooking isn’t the only thing I’m slow at.

And that’s the kind of story we’re looking for. Come tell a story about a time when you finally gave in to doing something and ended up being glad you did. What was it and why did you push back against it? Was it getting married? Going to school? Having kids? Maybe you quit your job to travel the seven seas. We’d love to hear the story.

To read the rest of the invite click here:
https://freshgroundstories.com/2024/01/24/fgs-in-retrospect-stories-of-things-you-didnt-want-to-do-but-now-are-glad-you-did/