MEARS Support group

Studio friction is letting us use their space as a way to support the community, and we have agreed to keep it a free offering as a service to marginalized community members. No membership is needed for this event either.
✨What is most important to us is that you know we want you there building community with us! ✨

🤓Ok now what's going on!?!
MEARS stands for Minorities Exploring Alternative Relationship Styles, this informal community lead support group is a compassionate and caring space to discuss ENM (Ethical Non-Monogamy) and deepen our community ties within Denver and the surrounding areas!
This is a place to take ownership and acknowledge our human emotions, free from judgement, so we can truly do the deep relationship work that sustains and amplifies our connections. Or unpack our own self judgment, because sometimes that’s what we need most. 😘
We can seek support and counsel from our peers here, offer our own support to others and also see that we are not alone in these experiences, which can often be layered with multiple intersectionalities starting with race and moving into realms of life that aren’t always immediately seen.
This is an ENM community space that welcomes and centers itself around fem identifying, nonbinary, trans folx, BIPOC, queer, bi, gay, pansexual, asexual folx, the differently abled and the neurodiverse community.
If you have done the work to sit with where you fall in a minority group, you are welcome here (even if your designation to said group is not obvious, just maybe lead with this information when you DM Tess to make initial contact).
✨ Allies are welcome just please recognize you are a guest here, show up in a supportive role/mindset and refrain from taking up too much space in the dialogue. Take cues about whether people are sharing to vent, get advice or something else and practice asking before advising.
That being said, please come join us, together we're creating an inclusive community in which we can find refuge and spiritual nourishment.

***Code of Conduct***
1. You must familiarize yourself with these rules/guidelines before attending the event.
2. Anything said here stays here!
- Please honor the vulnerability cultivated and shared in these meetings with your confidentiality.
-Even if you are hanging out with a group member socially outside of group, please let people bring up their own stories. Bringing up something someone shared in group first could trigger them or put them in an emotional space they weren’t looking to be in at that time.
3. Enthusiast consent;
-Lets really lean into asking for consent regarding touch at these events, even so far as asking people we already know and have established friendships with if they would like a hello hug. Folx may show up to group feeling delicate already, and giving them agency over these interactions can be deeply healing in ways you might not expect.
-Some people may not find being hugged comforting, even if your intentions are caring, please ask how people want to be comforted before acting.
-This is not a sensual event, but since we are in the kink and ENM world we will go ahead and be blunt. You must ask before any kind of touch, even if you already asked consent for one thing does not mean you don’t have to keep asking as your encounter unfolds further.
3. Practice stating the intention behind your share at the beginning of your share; whether it’s to vent, receive help problem solving, or hear if anyone else has been there so you don’t feel so alone. This helps people show up for you the way you’d prefer. This is an opportunity to work on refining our communication skills, it's more of a goal than a rule though. Don’t stress on this one ;)
-Trigger warnings *Please do your best to give a trigger warning before your share if you think it’s about a sensitive subject.
4. We are always respectful to each other. We listen, and we don’t interrupt. Feel free to raise your hand until you get acknowledgment from whoever is speaking, let them finish and wait for them to call you in to contribute your thoughts.
- If you find you disagree with someone, express your disagreement in a way that allows for other perspectives to still exist. Try to ask questions out of curiosity, instead of making statements out of judgment. The goal here is to understand others perspectives more completely - not necessarily to change them.
-No disrespectful or combative behavior will be tolerated and we will ask those who threaten the safe space we are all creating to leave if necessary.
5. We don’t talk poorly about our partners! We want this space to be supportive for everyone who comes into it, even just in the stories we tell here. Even when we’re hurt or struggling, it’s important to remember that these are people that we care for and, ultimately, are collaborating with for relationship success. It’s also important to remember that it is a rather small community we’re in… and big picture, we know that focusing on solutions and how to broach difficult subject matter serves us all better than gossip does. We are here to dig in and do the work. Which will always include looking at our side of the equation, and staying focused on how progress can be made.
-We don't over-generalize by making judgments on their character or name call.
-We may describe a situation and what makes it difficult, or a series of similar situations and a perceived pattern. We may, of course, express our feelings. We do strive to speak on circumstances and experiences from a place of compassion, rather than from a place of frustration or anger. However, when we’re not there yet we can also speak to that anger and how we’re working through it.
-No man bashing or other over-generalizing, we are aiming to cultivate antiprejudice perspectives both in this space and within each of us.
6. We support and uphold body positivity
-We recognize each individual has their own brand of beauty and want that beauty to have room to express itself!
-We also strive to be sensitive to potential triggers for folks with eating disorders. Please avoid talking about food and body image in negative or judgemental ways. *For example; food being bad in some way, breaking your diet, glorifying eating too much at a gathering, planning to wear clothes that stretch, ect
*This is especially important around the holidays.*
7. Self care through taking space. You are encouraged to get up and take a moment if needed.
-We may use the lobby area as a quiet space; no conversations, phone calls, or other activities which could cause a disruption to the other event happening at Studio Friction or disturb other guests who may be using the lobby. Please take phone calls outside if needed.
- There’s no obligation to explain to the group what’s going on if that doesn’t feel good, either when excusing yourself or when returning.
-There are 2 restrooms one on the first floor and one on the second, feel free to use either without disturbing the other event.
-If you are struggling on your own after taking time to process, please let the facilitator know and we will try to help you feel safe and get regulated before you head home.
8. Ask for what you want.
-We will have a mutual aid station at our events with a sign up sheet where you can jot down some details about what you could use support on, or peruse if there’s anything you feel called to assist in. We will also do a call out to these requests at be end in the fb group where folx can request help with things coming up
9. Allies are welcome, but please keep in mind you are a guest here, act accordingly. We have a zero-tolerance policy for hate speech, bigotry, or judgement. We are also not here to educate you, so if it seems we are continuously being drawn into questions that could be googled or otherwise self-taught, we will ask you to be a silent observer. If we find you to be a continuous tax on the space and attendees because of lack of self-awareness, we may ask you to leave the group as a whole and not return.
10. Please refrain from attending if you don’t have the ability to hold space for others at this time. This is to take care of both you and the other attendees, as we aim to have this space be a place of reciprocal energy exchange.
-We’d love to catch you at a different event though!
11. This group is not a replacement for Therapy and there will not be a therapist present in a professional capacity.
-This event is geared towards community members supporting and sharing with each other.
-Choose whether to attend and what you share according to your comfort level and your capacity to handle what’s brought up after you leave our group that evening.
-We encourage everyone to pursue therapy outside of the support group for your own internal growth and well-being. The Center on Colfax is a great resource for queer community members and one of the resources they offer our community is access to counseling sessions/therapy at low to no cost.
12. Life is more fun with friends, and everyone has something to teach us. Inclusion is a super power! -You're invited to DM Tess to be added to our community google calendar. It features all kinds of events including lifestyle, vanilla, and community activism opportunities. You can copy events you are interested in to your personal calendar, and hide the MEARS calendar to reduce visual clutter in your Google Calendar app.
-If you have any relevant events that you'd like us to consider adding to our curated list please DM Tess or The Glass Vault fet page. We’re happy to promote things relevant to the community, issues relevant to our community members, and resources/events related to inner growth and self care.
-You’re not required to be friends with anyone but it’s always nice to see a friendly face across the room and we love meeting new people. Use our community google calendar and fb group to plan fun group outings!
13. The entirety of the Studio Friction code of conduct and anti-harassment and discrimination policies are also applicable here. Please familiarize yourself with them at the following links and be respectful of the space we are graciously granted use of.
https://studiofriction.com/codeofconduct
https://studiofriction.com/page-18084

Event structure:
-We start with a short community mingle session 6:30
-Community Code of Conduct station - We believe in collaboration and will provide a couple copies of our current Code of Conduct, double spaced. Please feel free to propose edits to this document that make you feel more seen or safe if you are called to. We acknowledge that as society evolves and grows so must we and we expect our policies to level up as we continue to do the work of cultivating antiprejudice mentalities and spaces.
-Mutual aid station–silent auction style requests for help over the next 1-4 months - option to submit anonymously by Text/DMing Tess and she will write it down in her handwriting for you, and see it gets on the community circle google calendar
-Community Google calendar station; here you can browse local events on our community Ical for sloshes and munches, community activation/political activism opportunities and more over the next month, or sign up for Maggie's Place events as well. People are additionally invited to add their events to a list of events to be considered and vetted for the community iCal.
-Get the space set up for the number of people who’ve RSVP’d
-A small snack will be provided. Feel free to also bring your favorite snack or something you’re testing out for an upcoming event if you’re called to! We also recognize that this can be both a monetary and energy expenditure cost that isn’t accessible to everyone though, so it is not at all required, please feel free to come be in community with us regardless. When things lighten up in your world you can decide to put more on your plate then. We feel strongly that we are here to support the community and gather in each other's presence vs ask for anything from individuals.

Flow once we sit down in circle - 645-7PM
-Overview of community ethos and ask if anyone has any questions.
-Intros (name and pronouns) and a short share about a current glimmer or success related to ENM.
*The intention here is to counteract our natural negativity bias, by intentionally tuning into gratitude for our community/partners! This is pre-processing resource building and will help us more easily reach for resiliency when digging into the deeper more challenging topics this evening.
-Shares/recent struggles
*We will aim to start our shares by saying what our goal for the share is, either to vent and be heard or to seek advice, resource recommendations and other perspectives. This is not a rule, just a communication goal which we believe could help everyone understand how to best show up for the person sharing therefore setting us all up for success.
-Review current community requests for Mutual Aid and see if we can get anyone marched up before we leave that night.
-Popcorn shares on upcoming events we're excited about and might want others to join in on. Activism opportunities too!
-Time for feedback and suggestions on group format.
-Cleanup and reset the space. Volunteers welcome!

Who are we?
Our main organizer and host is Tess.

Tess is a genderfluid pansexual demisexual kinkster who feels at home in Polyamory, which she has been practicing for over 8 years. She previously had the privilege of attending a small local poly femme geared community circle which was a large part of the inspiration for this group. Our Community Ethos Standards are an expanded version of the ethics that group was built with some additions I've come across through exploring other events and alternative lifestyle spaces over the last year or so. I also widened audience to accommodate a greater variety of the community and encourage a diversity of perspectives when we gather.
In the past She held community circles focused on astrology and herbalism at her healing arts studio, both in a femmes only format and in an all gender inclusive format.
She’s also a reiki master and herbalist, with further certifications in massage, death doula services and yoga teacher training all of which have informed the lens she sees the world through. She strives to move away from colonial mindsets and incorporate an antiracist and anti-prejudice lens to her approach to community building and holding space.
In her free time she can be found climbing, walking her dog, paddleboarding and wild foraging herbal medicine in the Rocky Mountains. She also enjoys collaborating with her local community members and seeing the layers of connection unfold, so she’s hoping you will come add your unique flair to our collective quilt soon!

We have a few community members who volunteer their time to set up and clean up after events when they can or drive algorithmic attention on social media.
We are looking for further volunteers or collaborators to help with this support circle, a related happy hour meetup, classes and speed dating ideas in the future. If this calls to you please reach out to Tess to see what aligns best!

General Info:
* Dress: Casual
* Kid Friendly: No
* First time group attendees allowed: Yes but you must DM Tess for further info
* Animals allowed: only service animals are allowed at Studio Friction
--------------------
Rules:
*Ask for what you want, communication is key.
*Use a coaster for your glass on all indoor wood surfaces.
*Please avoid perfume/cologne with artificial fragrances when coming to this event. Some people may be extremely sensitive or allergic even.
*We reserve the right to ask anyone to leave at any time.
--------------------
Accessibility Info: ***Please reach out to Tess if this is a barrier for you so we can brainstorm whether we can make the accommodations needed to assist you in joining us! ***
* Stairs/steps/lips: 3 stairs up to the front door.
-there is another door without steps available for anyone using a wheelchair, the ground is a little uneven but manageable. Please arrange this access in advance with Tess and we will happily help you get in!
* Wide hallways/doors: Yes
* Restrooms: Yes
* Allergy risks: please DM Tess in advance and we will communicate and accommodate to the best of our ability
* Subtitles / ASL: None *we would be very open to having a ASL interpreter join us if needed but they would have to volunteer their time
* Light (Natural / Florescent / Screens): overhead indoor lighting
* Sound Level: Low to med (People socializing)
* Seated or Standing event: mingling then seated
* Name tags: Yes they’re available
* Introvert space available: yes the lobby functions as a quiet area
* Group will not be separated by gender, everyone is welcome

*** Most, if not all, of this is open to discussion with our community members! We aim to create a space where everyone feels safe enough to be brave and vulnerable, and we acknowledge that feedback from and collaboration with our community members is essential to accomplishing that! We are committed to growing as society and awareness on sensitive subjects evolve and welcome opportunities to do so, please don’t be shy if something could be worded better or there’s something that could be added to amplify the intentions behind the space we’re creating.