What we’re about
- To have a constructive open discussion every month on anything and everything related to the experiences and challenges we as men face in the modern age. We will also periodically do book clubs, picking one relevant book to read and discuss over several meetings.
- Any man interested in covering a wide range that could include work and money, relationships and intimacy, parenthood and family, loss and grief, travel and relocation, fitness and health, etc. The format is flexible and we may leverage articles or excerpts from books in the area to guide the discussion. Please note that this isn’t therapy or coaching.
- This group is for men only. We understand women also face many of these challenges and we encourage them to join one of the several women-only meet-ups available in Montreal. This group will be held in English only. If you’re interested in a similar meet-up but in French, let us know and if there’s enough demand, we’ll create a French one as well.
- There is a small fee for in-person events to cover the space costs, online events will be free.
- PLEASE NOTE: This group strives to create a safe and respectful space for open dialogue that aims to heal rather than exacerbate the divisions in society. While we agree that a lot of men are struggling in the modern world, we do not condone much of the unsavoury takes found in "the manosphere". However, we do extend a warm invite to men who may have been drawn to certain ideologies but are eager to transcend them. So if you're seeking to move beyond divisive perspectives and instead choose to focus on personal growth and positive transformation to become a well-rounded active member of society (including as a partner and father, if you choose), this group is for you!
Upcoming events (4+)
See all- Men’s Circle - Aug - On Life & Women - The Way of The Superior ManLink visible for attendees
Gents!
For our August meeting (held on zoom), we'll be using David Deida's classic book "The Way of The Superior Man" to guide the conversation around some higher-level themes around life, fathers and women. It is one of my favourite books of all time and I highly recommend it.
You're not required to read the book to participate as the purpose is to use it as a starting point of discussions. If you'd like to do so, the pdf can be found online (I encourage you to support the author by buying his book if you can afford it).
The book is organized into short chapters, I've picked 6 of them here along with the initial paragraph or two to give some context to guide our discussions. I've picked the ones around some key themes for us as men, namely: life, fathers and women.
Chapter 1 - Stop Hoping for a Completion of Anything in Life
Most men make the error of thinking that one day it will be done. They think, "If I can work enough, then one day I could rest." Or, "One day my woman will understand something and then she will stop complaining." Or, "I'm only doing this now so that one day I can do what I really want with my life." The masculine error is to think that eventually things will be different in some fundamental way. They won't. It never ends. As long as life continues, the creative challenge is to tussle, play, and make love with the present moment while giving your unique gift.
Chapter 3 - Live as if Your Father Were Dead
A man must love his father and yet be free of his father's expectations and criticisms in order to be a free man.
Imagine that your father has died, or remember when he did die. Are there any feelings of relief associated with his death? Now that he is dead, is any part of you happy that you need not live up to his expectations or suffer his criticisms? How would you have lived your life differently if you had never tried to please your father? If you never tried to show your father that you were worthy? If you never felt burdened by your father's critical eye?Chapter 12- Be Willing to Change Everything in Your Life
A man must be prepared to give 100% to his purpose, fulfill his karma or dissolve it, and then let go of that specific form of living. He must be capable of not knowing what to do with his life, entering a period of unknowingness and waiting for a vision or a new form of purpose to emerge. These cycles of strong specific action followed by periods of not knowing what the hell is going on are natural for a man who is shedding layers of karma in his relaxation into truth.
Chapter 15 - Stop Hoping for Your Woman to Get Easier
A woman often seems to test her man's capacity to remain unperturbed in his truth and purpose. She tests him to feel his freedom and depth of love, to know that he is trustable. Her tests may come in the form of complaining, challenging him, changing her mind, doubting him, dis- tracting him, or even undermining his purpose in a subtle or not so subtle way. A man should never think his woman's testing is going to end and his life will get easier. Rather, he should appreciate that she does these things to feel his strength, integrity, and openness. Her desire is for his deepest truth and love. As he grows, so will her testing.
Chapter 24 - Choose a Woman Who Is Your Complimentary Opposite
If a man is very masculine by nature, then he will be attracted to a very feminine woman, who will compliment his energy. The more neutral or balanced he is, the more balanced he will prefer his woman. And, if a man is more feminine by nature, his energy will be complemented by the strong direction and purposiveness of a more masculine woman. By understanding their own needs, men can learn to accept the "whole package" of a woman. For instance, a more masculine man can expect that any woman who really turns him on and enlivens him will also be relatively wild, undisciplined, "bonkers," chaotic, prone to changing her mind and "lying." Still, from an energetic perspective, this kind of woman will be much more healing and inspiring to him than a more balanced or neutral woman who is steady, reasonable, "trustworthy," and able to say what she means in a way he can understand.
Chapter 25 - Know What Is Important in Your Woman
The feminine is the force of life. The more masculine a man is, the more his woman's feminine energy (as opposed to other qualities) will be important to him.
If you are looking for a woman business partner, you probably want certain qualities in her, such as financial acumen, dependability, and the capacity to persist in the face of difficulties in order to achieve a goal. If you are looking for a woman friend, you probably want honesty, compassion, humor, and respect. If you are looking for a consort, you probably want a woman who freely embodies and expresses feminine energy and love. The more you seek a woman who gives you everything, the less you get of anything… sexual passion requires a clear polarity between your masculine core and your woman's feminine energy. When you don't prioritize the purpose of your relationship, these different energies often cancel each other out, and you are left with a sexually neutralized alliance.
We don't have to cover every chapter and we can see where the conversation takes us.
If there is enough interest, we can cover some other chapters in future sessions! Looking forward to a fruitful discussion!
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The topics of discussion will vary from meeting to meeting, covering a wide range that could include work and money, relationships and intimacy, parenthood and family, loss and grief, travel and relocation, fitness and health, etc. The format is flexible and while we usually suggest topics and vote on them, we may also leverage articles or excerpts from books in the area to guide the discussion.
Please note that this isn’t meant to be therapy or coaching.
We’ll provide a safe and confidential space and require the same from all our attendees. If you’re not the type to enjoy deeper discussion, this group is probably not the right one for you. The group will be kept on the smaller side to foster an intimate setting and allow everyone enough time to share.
This group is for men only. We understand women also face many of these challenges and we encourage you to join one of the many women’s-only meet-ups available in Montreal. This group will be held in English.
There is a small fee for in-person events to cover the space costs, online events will be free.
PLEASE NOTE: This group strives to create a safe and respectful space for open dialogue that aims to heal rather than exacerbate the divisions in society. While we agree that a lot of men are struggling in the modern world, we do not condone much of the unsavoury takes found in "the manosphere". However, we do extend a warm invite to men who may have been drawn to certain ideologies but are eager to transcend them. So if you're seeking to move beyond divisive perspectives and instead choose to focus on personal growth and positive transformation to become a well-rounded active member of society (including as a partner and father, if you choose), this group is for you!
