Moving Towards Your Best Life (20s-30s)

v260220 description update
--INTRO
Experimental, group focused on trying new things, creating unique events, growing as a person, making friends, and taking intentional action to try to become a better you.

Is it better to be alone, or with people?

If your goal is to go to Hawaii, are you more likely to end up there accidentally, or if you plan and prepare for it?

Will the outcome be the same regardless of what you do, or do your actions determine or impact the result?

How does one build a strong community and really get to know people?

Time flies and life gets busier as you go, so you have to be more intentional to set aside time to maintain relationships or to make progress on a goal/ side project. I find it doesn't tend to just happen randomly or on it's own.

What kind of person are you aiming to be? What does the best you look like? Don't (overly) compare yourself to others, it's more fair to compare yourself to your past self....one year ago, a month ago.

What hinders you or prevents you from becoming who you want to be?
Is there a cost if you don't reach your goals?

I'd like to push myself and encourage others to grow in these areas. It won't be perfect, but even just trying seems to have a merit on its own. I find it's easier to work and be creative when you have others who are similarly minded/ passionate.

--RULES/ Code of Conduct (v.260209)
1. General conduct
Treat all members with respect and kindness.
No harassment, bullying, or abusive language.
Conflicts should be resolved privately and respectfully when possible, or through group leadership if needed.

2. Safety and boundaries
No one-on-one interactions with minors outside of supervised group settings.
All events and communications should be safe and transparent.
Keep private messaging appropriate and respectful.

3. Participation and membership
Members are expected to follow group rules and community guidelines.
Decisions are based on behavior and group safety, not rumors or allegations.

Respectful language: Avoid excessive swearing, offensive language, or crude topics.

Appropriate content: Explicit sexual content or graphic topics should not be discussed in public group spaces.

Group comfort: Behavior that makes other members uncomfortable may be addressed privately by leadership; repeated violations can result in removal/ban.

Members who miss three scheduled meetings/events without prior notice (changing RSVP from Going to Not Going) may receive a warning. Repeated No Shows beyond that may result in removal/ban from the group.

Members who have been inactive for 6 months or longer may be removed/banned from the group, at leader's discretion. Inactivity includes not attending events or engaging with the group. Leadership may send a notice before removal, but if member has been inactive for a year or longer, a notice will likely not be sent. Inactive members may be removed/banned without further warning if needed to maintain an active and engaged community. Inactive members without profile pictures or who have been inactive for a year or longer, are more likely to be banned, since our group focuses on in-person events and wishes to avoid bots, scammers, lurkers.

Members are expected to use a profile photo that reasonably reflects their actual appearance. The group's focus on skill building and making social connections, emphasis on friendship and neutral social bonds, not specifically to dating or romance (though an occasional singles event may crop up). Photos are expected to be socially acceptable; to the group's focus. Misrepresentation of your photo — such as using someone else’s image, a misleading image, or a drastically altered photo — may result in a ban at the discretion of leadership. Said profile picture may be required for events at private residences, to get the address and to attend. Photos that are inappropriate/misrepresented/missing could result in a ban or a request to replace it, at leader's discretion.

Bans are generally final, but may be reconsidered if the member demonstrates a willingness to follow group rules and contribute positively. Contact leadership(Timothy N) if you would like to discuss a reconsideration.

Leadership reserves the right to issue warnings, restrict participation, or remove/ban members who violate group rules or engage in behavior that is disruptive or harmful to the group’s community.

4. Digital communication
Avoid sharing personal information without consent.
No spreading unverified claims or rumors about other people.

Conversations in the group should be respectful, on-topic, and inclusive (try to be welcoming to newcomers and engage everyone, avoid inside jokes/references or making ppl feel excluded).

5. Reference and transparency
Guidelines are posted so members know expected conduct.

Group rules may be updated from time to time. The latest rules being posted here.

Members are encouraged to report unsafe or concerning behavior to leadership privately.

--PHILOSOPHY
(more on the 'why' and proper group mindset to have)

Some principles to live by. You don't have to agree, but this is some of what I want to direct the group in:

-you're more likely to achieve a goal if you aim for it.
For indivs or with groups. The details/rules here, in some ways it would be nice if we didn't need them, but doing so means we are letting "chance"/randomness/hope to mold the group into something good and quality, which is much more unlikely to happen. To create quality, requires more effort, intention, and thought. More consideration of others, restricting of self or self expression at times, for the betterment of group

-decay/decline is the default, improvement does not come accidentally, it takes intention and action

-No one is perfect, we are all wips (works in progress)

- most ppl are self-focused
Most aren't thinking about you, so assuming ppl are out to get you, or did a thing specifically to hurt you, is most of the time incorrect

-No one can read minds
Most ppl are bad and honestly kind of suck at communicating and reading body language / social cues. Yet it is such an important skill. Assume, if you don't express things clearly, directly, honestly, with words, multiple times, and near the time of an incident, most ppl won't get it. If someone offends you, and you don't say anything until a month later, even a few days later, many ppl will have already forgotten. The most effective time to address a situation, is near or at the time of it happening

-If ppl are being honest, and are thinking for themselves, you won't find someone who agrees with you 100%, on everything. If you want ppl to be honest with you, you have to allow ppl room to disagree, not punish them for speaking what they currently believe to be true, and say things which might shock or offend you, at times, and not just be 'politically correct'

-growth takes time, and is traditionally is most often done 'alone'
(or, behind the scenes, when no one else is watching and applauding,
i.e. a body builder, olympic athlete, etc, spends 99% of the effort behind the scenes to get good. We tend to just see the finished result, not the work that was put in)

-the default is to be bad at things. It takes practice, dozens or hundreds of tries, to improve, to build skill/expertise, at anything. Being social/communication is a skill, it can be learned/improved with practice

-you don't lose/fail if you don't get the result you want, or do a thing badly. If you put in fair effort, did best you could, that should be praised. You only really lose, if you give up and stop trying

- golden rule - treat others how you would like others to treat you. Be the change you want to see in the world

- the trick is, how to manage this all in a group.
If the above concepts are true: no one is perfect, and it is natural to take many many times of failure and mistakes to improve, we need an environment where we allow ppl to be imperfect. To do things badly. To make mistakes, or say offensive things or be socially awkward, sometimes, with hope they can change/improve if corrected. The underlying goal of this group is to help/challenge/stretch others to becoming their best selves, more than to have fun. Tho, meeting new ppl, having fun, clashing with opposing ppl/personalities, may all come as part of this adventure to becoming your best self. But, is also necessary to provide an environment optimized for growth. I could be wrong, but this is my current theory. We need a way to be able to peacefully coexist, learn, and grow with each other, even if there are disagreements. All these details might seem like a drag, but, if the group is able to grasp and agree to this as foundation, that will help reduce conflicts, reduce offense, allow for more grace, etc

-if possible, there is far more power (and fun) in a united group to do a task, then to try to do it all solo

-pro tip for personal growth- it starts in the mind and in your beliefs. Therefore, correcting mindsets and worldview is a good starting place

and, more philosophically: truth exists, and there does tend to (always?) be a better way of doing things. Which means, it's possible (and we should be open to the possibility) to be wrong, or to be doing a thing less efficiently/optimally. Not all perspectives may be as valid, correct, optimal, best as others. But if you can't/won't allow yourself to 'judge'/weigh options, you will be aimless/directionless. How can you become a better you, if you can't define better, or determine a path with a higher likelihood of success? Is it better to eat cake all day, or a balanced nutritious meal? The goal for success, is to seek and be open to truth, correction, feedback, to progress towards that which is best. The trick is finding out what that truth (more quality info) is. And then prioritize/focus and take action, on that which is best and most important, towards your goal.

be open to info, advice, correction, feedback. Why? Bc no one is perfect, no one knows everything, we need each other. And truth can come from anywhere, a kid with a fresh perspective. Everyone has different experiences. Age does not equal wisdom, nor does education/credentials mean you actually know what you're talking about. It may increase the chances, but it's not a guarantee. There are wise youngsters and foolish elders. An enemy can speak truth, and a friend/ loved one can be sincere, but still give bad advice

A tidbit. I like writing and details, could you tell? If want more details, let's have a fun chat about it in person sometime
-TN