[Experimental] Date night @ Chandler Mall

TLDR
keep your rsvp up to date, will prob be a small crowd. If no one else signs up, then I'll expect the event is cancelled and may instead go do my own thing

intention/focus is (straight cis) male to female dating

not intended to promote fooling around or one night stands, but rather for helping ppl find friends, potentially mates, but prob more realistically to get ppl in the mode/practice of dating, practice communicating and getting to know ppl in 1 on 1 or smaller group scenarios, etc. There shouldn't be any extra ppl coming outside of who you see rsvp'd on Meetup, so don't expect that. (I guess it is a bit tricky now that Meetup blurs profile pics of ppl you don't know, but we work w what we got)

guys, show up with $20 per hr/date you want to hang around ($20-40)
girls, show up with $0-10 per hr/date you want to hang around ($0-10-20)

expectations: it's possible no girls will show up, or no other guys will show up. We'll make do with whatever group composition we have (details below), be flexible. Keep RSVP up to date. As this is a more sensitive event, if you don't show or if ppl complain about you, it could result in more severe consequences, ban/hold from future dating events or from group in general, etc. Anonymous feedback is available, though if you notify me directly and remove the anonymity aspect, it holds more credibility. If it's a claim that can't be subtantiated, it may be ignored/shelved

More details below if you care for them, note I can write a lot ;p and I like to be thorough

v.250816c
WHAT
This is an experimental event, I suspect it may get little to no attention as we're starting out, or in general it will probably be a smaller crowd

I have a site available for ppl to write in anonymous feedback to me if they want
https://feedback.azfriend.us
(Note, tested recently, it claims "Feedback submission failed", but it still worked)

If you find you run out of things to say or have difficulty coming up with topics, can try my random conversation ~generator:
https://talk.azfriend.us

DRESS
like a date, aim to dress more formally/ to impress/ uniquely. So like date apparel, or stylish (in the traditional sense, or like try a new hairstyle, try a theme, try a new accessory, etc), or business casual, or try a new outfit, or if you like costumes, feel free to cosplay if you want. It's dating-like, but more on the fun/ not overly serious side. But if you try dressing different, that would certainly help make it more fun and memorable. Be nice, if ppl put in extra effort to their outfit or above their usual style, compliment them for their efforts, even if it's not suiting your tastes personally. Let's motivate each other to growth/progress/creativity

WHO
someone who is single or not yet in a committed relationship, up for trying new things, having fun, not being too serious about it

having a flexible, easy going attitude helps to deal with the experimental/test nature of such an event

The intention/focus here is for dating between straight cis males to straight cis females, ideally those looking for monogamous relationships and who want to date with intention. For something more focused/speciaized in the LGBQT+ type vein, it's better to look elsewhere, plan your own event, find events w larger crowds of ppl, etc

With this event, I am NOT looking to encourage hooking up, players, promiscuity, one night stands, etc. I am religious in my beliefs and look more for traditional relationships, and believe it's important to date with intention. If you find you are not compatible with someone, don't string them along or waste their time. But, give people a fair shot/chance to get to know you. Do unto others as you would have/want them to do unto you

HOW
Tentative plan, we'll all start at a central spot, like the food court, wait a bit for ppl to arrive, discuss the plan, then do it. Meet back half way, swap ppl, go again. Optionally meet at the end to discuss how it all went for ppl

-help people meet others, strengthen relationships, get themselves out there socially
(with singles and possibility for romantic relationships to come from it, being focus)

-lean more towards a dating theme, hence, dressing up more nicely/differently, guys paying all/bulk but with a limit to keep the event sustainable and discourage gold digging and simping

-practice conversational skills of getting to know someone in a more 1-on-1 or small group scenario, flirt, banter (feel free to practice cheesy pickup lines. Ladies, be gracious to us ;p)

-make it fun/interesting, unique (add limitations, time, $, random, dressing up stylish/new)

For the $, I'd suggest bringing in cash, to help enforce sticking to the limits.
For guys, bring $20 for hour/date you want to be here (so, either $20 or $40)
For girls, you may optionally bring $0-$10 for hour you want to be here (so, $0 or $10 or $20)

The situation may change based on group composition of who shows up

if it's even split of guys and girls, we can:
pair off randomly (draw colors/numbers from a hat) to determine who pairs up with who. Couples can explore the mall together, say for an hour, then meet back at the food court to re-randomize to hang out with a different person for the second half

if slanted to mostly just guys or girls:
we could either still pair up and just practice getting to know each other in 1 on 1 situation but as friends, or rotate through it quicker speed dating style, hey there's 5 options, split and spend a bit of time with each person with group hanging nearby doing their own thing in the meantime, or could hang as group and share dating stories, or could practice cold approaching at the venue (prob if we end up with just guys, this is the least comfortable, but highest growth. We could pair up Akatsuki style to help wingman/encourage each other to be bold and ask). Or optionally could spoil the minority ;p

WHY
-free will exists
(your goals/dreams typically won't happen on their own, tends to require some effort and intention)

-long term, it's better to be with someone/friends than alone
(but this requires investment, getting yourself out there socially)

-who you date/marry is one of the most important decisions of your life, good or bad
(so it'd be better to spend the needed time/effort/resources to improve chances of finding the right or a good/quality mate)

That said, I don't think the right person will just fall out of the sky and into your lap, hence, time/effort/resources are needed to communicate and invest, in order to improve chances of finding a quality mate. Before one gets married, it doesn't hurt and would arguably be better, to meet and find a lot of potential single ppl and friends you are compatible and get along well with. Then, if you do get married, it can feel more like an intentional choice, rather than getting married due to time pressure or bc you had no options available

Health-wise, some studies say loneliness is akin to smoking 15 cigarettes a day. Even if you don't find a mate, finding ppl and friends you get along with and want to share your life with helps enrich your life and makes it more worth living

That said, I feel like irl hangouts, communication, dating is lacking in this digital age, everyone is so attached to their phones/screens. I'd like to provide opportunities for ppl to irl meet/practice/etc. Text messages alone are easily misinterpretted, 55-93% of communication is non-verbal. Meeting ppl irl is a far superior way to get a sense of who they are

MISC / FAQs
-Why have a dating themed event? Wouldn't it be better to just have group events, and see if things happen naturally?

That is a possibility, and that is most events on Meetup. Feel free to try that there. Here, I want to label/denote this with dating label, to theme the intention of the event and the actions here to lean more in that direction, with less of the taboo/hesitation that can be associated with it. It's also better to speak/move with intention, if we're all agreed that romance is a possibility, it could be much easier to bring it up in conversation and both be working to get to know each other. In many social encounters it can be easy to only have a few minutes of dedicated time to talk to each person. But that isn't enough to really get to know them. At that pacing, it would months to years to actually get to know and feel comfortable with the person. It's better to focus and speed this initial phase up, so you can better decide and get to spending more time with the ppl that are more likely to be better matches with you

-What if I get paired with someone I don't know, someone I consider just a friend, or someone I don't really think I'll like?

A couple of options, a couple can choose to pair up with let's say up to one other couple, for safety and or to make it more like a double date, more ppl to try to get to know for the hour. Or any and up to all couples can optionally stick with me/organizer and whoever I pair with as well as an option. I'd encourage ppl to try for the 1 on 1 to get the date-like experience, and just stick to shops inside the mall and public places for safety first. But there are these other options to be used as needed

I have anonymous feedback site available, feel free to later in person, or via the website, inform me of any concerns you may have

That said, be realistic, sure we'd all love to go on dates with the most attractive ppl available or super models or the like, but if you yourself are just average and don't do anything extra, then realistically you shouldn't expect more than an average mate as well. And by definition, the majority/most ppl are average. Have standards, but don't be so picky/unrealistic that you can't find anyone. Dating tends to only get harder / require more effort, the longer you wait and the older you get. We're all wip's (works in progress), give grace, don't expect perfection. Give ppl a chance, they may surprise you

-Is it bad or wrong to be upfront about wanting to date someone or to cold approach someone out in the wild?

If you have good intentions and aren't being a villain, then no it's not wrong, you are giving others an opportunity to get to know you and be a part of your life, and to be a part of theirs. Everyone can add something unique to your life, and you to theirs. However, free will exists, some ppl may or may not want dating/ more friends no matter how great you or they are. Respect people's boundaries and decisions and where they are in in this moment.

-MISC
part of knowing whether someone is compatible with you, is knowing who you yourself are well. Where are you headed? What are your goals, what do you want out of life? A family and kids? What makes you happy? How do you deal with hardships and problems? Do you run away, get mad, or are you able to difficult topics peacefully? What is your communication style? Your love language? Are your expectations realistic?