Triggered

Emotional triggers are powerful responses that occur when specific stimuli remind us of past traumatic experiences which remain unresolved. When we encounter a trigger, our body and mind react as if the original trauma is occurring again. This reaction is often automatic and disproportionate to the situation at hand. Unfortunately, being triggered is common in relationships in which strong emotional reactions are evoked. Triggers can cause us to misinterpret our partner’s words or actions, leading to defensive or aggressive responses, emotional volatility, and conflict. When triggers are left unaddressed, they can create cycles of misunderstanding and hurt and long-term barriers to intimacy.

Relationship triggers vary widely from one person to another, but some common ones can be traced to specific origins: abandonment fears (often rooted in childhood neglect or separation, these triggers lead to intense emotions when a partner is perceived as distant or unavailable); criticism sensitivity (originating from early experiences of harsh judgment, this trigger can make individuals overly sensitive to feedback, perceiving it as a personal attack); trust Issues (these can arise from past betrayals or inconsistent parenting, leading to suspicion and difficulty in forming close bonds); and control needs (a response to feeling powerless in childhood or more recent relationships, this trigger can manifest as a need to dominate or micromanage).

In the next meeting of the Relationship Group Seminar on Saturday, June 28, 2025 (11:45 AM to 1:00 PM), we will explore the psychology of getting triggered. How painful, unresolved issues from one’s past relationships manifest in two triggering themes (e.g., heightened sensitivity to certain behaviors or situations and distrust/withdrawal responses) will be our focus. We will also discuss how one’s partner, on the receiving end of these triggered emotional responses, may not understand the underlying cause of the distress and feel both frustration and helplessness. Finally, we will address how to recognize when previous unresolved issues are negatively impacting your relationship and what to do about it (i.e., desensitizing oneself to triggers is an important psychological accomplishment in adulthood).

To register for this upcoming seminar, please see the directions below.

*Registration Directions: If you would like to attend the next meeting of the Relationship Group Seminar on June 28, 2025 (11:45 AM to 1:00 PM), please RSVP to me at 949-338-4388 or [jt@jamestobinphd.com](mailto:jt@jamestobinphd.com) no later than Thursday, June 26, 2025. The seminar will be held at 15615 Alton Parkway, Suite 450, in Irvine, CA. The fee is $30.00 and informed consent for participation must be completed prior to the seminar. Please note that the Relationship Group Seminar is psychoeducational in nature, not therapeutic, and does not constitute psychotherapy or counseling.