What we’re about
A confidential space for men who love men, moving through real-deal awakening — raw, messy, human.
If you’re in the midst of a spiritual awakening, seeking authentic connection, and longing for a tribe of gay men who truly “get it,” this circle is for you.
Peer-led and support-based — a space of mutual sharing and discovery, not therapy or medical care. Here we move beyond dogma, share openly, connect deeply, and walk the path together.
📍While based in Rhode Island, this circle also welcomes men from across New England — including Massachusetts, Connecticut, and the Boston area.
(Scroll down for full details about membership, what we do, and guiding principles.)
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🌱 MEMBERSHIP:
This circle is for gay men who are actively moving through a spiritual awakening, whether just beginning or well into the process, and seeking a supportive space to talk, bond, and walk this path with others who understand the journey.
Here, spirituality isn’t about religion or dogma — it’s about your own personal connection to the divine, however you understand it. That might be through Mother Sophia, God, the Universe, Jesus, Buddha, Krishna, angels, spirit guides, or any other expression of the sacred beyond religious institutions.
Note: If you’re only just beginning to explore spirituality, this space may not be the right fit just yet — though we may occasionally host open events for the wider LGBTQ+ community, which you’d be welcome to join. Anyone who feels called is welcome to reach out and share their interest.
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🌟 THIS GROUP IS FOR YOU IF:
• You’re watching the world unravel and feel in your gut that something’s deeply off — a spiritual sickness beneath it all.
• You’re done believing the lie that being gay means God and spirituality aren’t for you.
• Religion called you an abomination, but you know that can’t be true, as you’ve felt divine love and spiritual connection in your heart.
• You find yourself wondering: If religion got it wrong about us, how and why did that happen? And what do we do about it? You’re searching for answers.
• You notice that much of the LGBTQ+ community is agnostic or atheist, and while you understand why, you’re having a different experience.
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• You have “fake living fatigue” — worn out by social media, surface roles, and curated images, living a life that feels more like an empty illusion than a true expression of your soul.
• You’ve chased pleasure, image, looks, status, or success — yet you know deep down your true value lies beyond all of that.
• You sense that who you are — and your sexuality — are not a flaw or a sin, but a doorway into deeper truth.
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• You find deep resonance with what many Indigenous traditions have long believed — and what many still honor today — from Two-Spirit people across North America to Māhū in Hawai‘i, Fa’afafine in Samoa, and Bissu in Sulawesi: that those who walk between genders hold a sacred and valued place in the human family, offering insight, healing, and balance to the world.
• Yet from this place of honoring your sacredness, you sometimes wonder if parts of the modern LGBTQ+ movement have drifted from deeper spiritual roots — you’re unsure — and you’re seeking space to reflect on this with others — those who approach the subject with a calm, collected, level-headed, grounded, mature — respectful, loving, non-defensive, and imperturbable — mindset and demeanor.
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• You’re awakening faster than those around you, leaving you feeling isolated, unseen, and misunderstood.
• You’re seeking spiritual support but not finding the depth you long for in other LGBTQ+ spaces.
• You long for a tribe of spiritual gay men who “get it.”
• Words like crisis → death → rebirth ring true.
• You’re moving from breakdown to breakthrough across identity, work, relationships, and beliefs.
• You’re experiencing strange shifts — bursts of energy, heightened sensitivity, meaningful synchronicities, or mystical experiences that sometimes leave you wondering if you’re “going crazy.”
• You sense new spiritual abilities stirring — intuition, energetic sensitivity, or other subtle gifts.
• You’re seeing through society’s systems and illusions — what some call “waking up” or “escaping the matrix.”
• You’re drawn to ancient or esoteric teachings — such as alchemy, shamanism, mystery-school traditions, or other “divine sciences” — while also discovering a healing, grounding connection with nature.
• You’re connecting to deeper truths or spirit guides — realizing that the battle between love and fear, good and evil, is probably more real than you wanted to believe — yet not what religion made it out to be. You see that Love is the guiding star, not judgment or dogma.
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🔥 WHAT WE DO:
For many, a spiritual awakening can be deeply challenging, frightening, and isolating. So much is unfolding at once, and often we can’t make sense of it all. It’s a time of letting go of old selves and beliefs, rebuilding from the ground up, adjusting to unfamiliar energies, and navigating strange shifts and emerging abilities — all while living in a world where friends, family, and community may think we're "crazy" if we talk about what's really happening with us. It can be incredibly hard — and that’s why we’re here: to shoulder each other through it.
Each gathering includes check-ins, shared agreements, and a focused theme or open dialogue. Themes may include LGBTQ+ experiences within spiritual awakening, internalized homophobia, healing religious trauma, navigating crisis, mystical experiences, esoteric topics, loneliness on the path, our strengths and hopes, living authentically, and much more. The circle is peer-led and support-based — a space of mutual sharing and discovery, not therapy or medical care.
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✨ IF THIS MESSAGE RESONATES:
You are welcome here. Come as you are — with your messiness and wisdom, your strengths and fears. We’ll walk this path of awakening together.
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🕊️ GROUP CULTURE / TONE:
Our gatherings have a tone that’s respectful, open-hearted, and deeply human — sometimes lighthearted, sometimes raw — a mix of seriousness, laughter, and emotion where it naturally arises.
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🌈 ABOUT THE FACILITATOR:
My name is Josh, and like many of you, I’ve carried deep wounds on the path into awakening. My upbringing was not without love — in fact, much of it was good. But alongside the love and the good, there was also a lot of dysfunction: young parents who always seemed to be fighting, an alcoholic father, and an overbearing, overprotective, and deeply fundamentalist mother. We moved often, and from a young age at school, I was brutally picked on and shamed for being different — nicknamed “Cinderella” and told I was “too much of a girl.”
Growing up in a fundamentalist home, I was taught that being gay was an abomination. When I came out at 17, my worst fears were realized: I was shunned by friends, family, and church — never officially “disfellowshipped” (the term for excommunication within the circles I was raised in), but treated as if I had been, much like the Amish practice of shunning.
For years, I numbed myself with alcohol and drugs. In my mid-20s, I developed erythrophobia — the fear of blushing — a severe form of social anxiety that at times left me housebound, hospitalized, and unable to work, with symptoms resembling complex PTSD. For more than a decade I believed I was dealing with panic disorder, unable to pin down exactly what was happening. By my mid-30s, I discovered the condition was erythrophobia, but it has taken until where I am today, my early 40s, to fully understand the depth of its roots: shame, internalized homophobia, and what I call the “God wound,” or religious trauma syndrome.
Through it all, I felt a call — that my pain was part of a bigger story. In the spring of 2023, that call came crashing through during a three-week-long shamanic and kundalini awakening: an encounter with the unconscious and spiritual forces that changed everything. The intensity brought me to the brink of psychosis and stripped away the false layers I had been living under, forcing me to rebuild on a more authentic foundation.
Today, nearly two years free from alcohol and other addictive substances, I continue my healing journey — still working through erythrophobia, yet finding progress in the struggle, supported by practices and studies in archetypal shamanism, psychology, and esoteric alchemy: a soul science for transmuting shadow into light.
Note: while my days of masking trauma symptoms with alcohol and other addictive substances are over, I may occasionally explore plant medicines in an intentional and sacred way as part of my spiritual practice — possibly traveling to Peru to do so under the guidance of my trusted shamanic practitioner and teacher.
And with that, the deeper call I’ve carried for so long is finally coming into focus — to heal, to live authentically, and to grow into purpose and service — perhaps one day guiding others who walk a similar path. We shall see. I don’t have it all figured out yet, but I’m on my way. That said, I still have much to learn, so I come to this circle not as a guru or teacher, but as a fellow traveler — still in process, holding space for us to talk it all out, learn, heal, and grow together.
Whatever your story is — whether pain or crisis brought you here, or your path has unfolded in another way — if you find yourself in the midst of a spiritual awakening, this circle is for you. Here we walk through the fire together, balancing the challenges while also discovering authentic laughter, joy, and happiness along the way. 😊
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📍WHERE AND WHEN:
This circle is just beginning to take shape, and I’m currently seeking a welcoming space to host our gatherings. The schedule — whether weekly, biweekly, or monthly — will grow with the community. If you know of a space or would like to collaborate, I’d love to hear from you. Check back soon for updates as things come together!
⚖️ THE RULES / GUIDING PRINCIPLES:
Because many gay men have felt excluded in other LGBTQ+ spaces due to non-consensus views regarding pronouns, politics, vaccines, and other matters, we name our guiding principles clearly. These create safety, respect, and belonging for everyone.
• If you’re religious: You are welcome here if your intention is to explore beyond the confines of organized religion — but rigid dogma does not align with our values.
• Confidentiality: What’s shared here stays here. Personal stories should not be repeated outside the group unless permission is given. General discussion of themes is okay.
• Airtime: One person talks at a time, with balanced shares; the facilitator may gently refocus if things get heated or off-topic.
• Disagreements & Respect: This circle is about holding space, not proving points. We can feel certain in our individual beliefs while not imposing them on others. We honor differences, avoid heated debates, and agree to disagree when needed.
• Safety: To protect the circle, the facilitator may redirect or, if needed, remove someone whose behavior disrupts the group’s respect, flow, or safety.
• Legality & Boundaries: We honor freedom of conscience and personal paths, but anything illegal or unsafe crosses a boundary. This circle does not condone or permit illegal activities.
• Sharing, Not Selling: Members may naturally talk about their work, but this circle isn’t for marketing, recruiting, or soliciting spiritual or other businesses. Please keep mentions brief, organic, and relevant to the discussion.
• Food Choices: Diet is part of a spiritual practice for many, but we’re not here to debate vegan, non-vegan, or other dietary preferences. We honor each person’s conscience and path.
• No Sexual Judgment: Each person’s sexual choices/actions are theirs to discern. Whether they align with someone’s highest good is between their conscience and spirit — It’s not the group’s role to decide.
• Conscience & Karma: On matters where views or choices differ — whether around politics, diet, sexual proclivities, or other personal paths — we agree that alignment with the highest good rests between each person, their conscience, spirit, and karma. It’s not for anyone within the group to decide or judge.
• Humility & Equality: We come as equals, sharing our journeys. This circle isn’t about who knows more, competing to “out-wisdom” others, or trying to position oneself as the authority or guru.
• Respect for the Journey: Everyone on a spiritual path moves through different stages at different times. We honor these differences without comparison or judgment.
• Nondiscrimination: We do not discriminate based on race, age, ability, HIV status, religion, or political views.
• Values Over Egos: We prioritize our shared values of respect, discovery, and Love over ego or personality.
• Unity: Oneness is our strength — we’re strongest when we walk as one.
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🌀 HOT BUTTON TOPICS — OUR SHARED UNDERSTANDINGS & PRINCIPLES:
(Expanded guidance on topics that sometimes carry strong feelings)
PRONOUNS — OUR STANCE
Members hold diverse views, feelings, and beliefs about pronouns — and all of those perspectives are welcome here when shared with respect for others. We recognize that matters of conscience and spirituality are nuanced and evolving, and we hold equal space for people with differing views. You may use self-identified pronouns or simply a person’s name — both are respected here. If you opt out of pronouns, use names rather than substitutes. We do not debate anyone’s identity.
POLITICS — OUR STANCE
People of all views — Democrat, Republican, independent, third-party, or none (including those who prefer to keep politics out of spirituality) — are treated with respect here, including members with diverse views on vaccines. Political and cultural topics can be part of our spiritual journeys, and we welcome them as personal, spiritually grounded reflections. But we don’t do shaming, stereotyping, campaigning, or litmus tests. We share from our own experience without gatekeeping who counts or debating anyone’s worth based on how they vote — or don’t. We stay rooted in spiritual awakening and don’t use the circle to campaign or push outside causes.
HOT BUTTON TOPICS — HOW WE DISCUSS THEM
Conversations about gender, pronouns, trans issues, politics, and other cultural hot-button topics may naturally arise as they relate to our spirituality. These reflections are welcome when approached with a calm, collected, level-headed, mature, grounded — respectful, loving, non-defensive, and imperturbable — mindset and demeanor. We explore them as part of our spiritual journeys — not as debates to win or arguments to prove. If a conversation becomes heated or polarizing, the facilitator may gently guide us back to our shared spiritual focus.
PREMISE PRINCIPLE — THE MINDSET WE PRACTICE
People often — without realizing it — make snap judgments about others’ motives, intentions, or beliefs based on how something comes across without context: how a person votes, doesn’t vote, or where they stand on an issue (political, spiritual, or otherwise). We don’t do that here. Instead, we pause, listen closely, and ask: Am I accurately understanding the premise on which this person’s view rests? We strive to understand context and nuance, assume good faith, and never gang up on anyone — including those with non-consensus or politically/spiritually unpopular views.